A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.
Great Satire Writing:
I would not accept Trump pancakes. Nothing to do with his politics. But I've seen him put ketchup on things it should never touch and eat velveeta'd "food".
Biden at least knows what maple syrup is. You know, from a tree. Not from processed corn sugar and artificial flavouring.
1 point to Biden.
I'd be displeased to have Joe in my kitchen, but he would probably make good "Grandpa style pancakes."
Trump on the other hand would burn them because he forgot to use eggs, blame my kitchenware, and say that I purposely sabotaged him by not giving him the right tools and ingredients because I'm an immigrant and pancakes are an American patriot meal I shouldn't be allowed to have anyway
You can picture Trump in the kitchen doing work with his hands? Mr bone spurs!?
Plus Joe would be making them naked with that big old Scranton hog flopping around.
Have you told your therapist about these reoccurring dreams you've been having? 🤔
I refuse to believe that Trump could cook pancakes if he wanted to
And no amount of convincing would get me to eat those pancakes.
Why would he cook pancakes when they'll just hand him his hotcake platters at the McDonald's window? He doesn't even have to pay for them. What are they gonna do, call the cops?
Ladies and gentlemen, let me tell you, nobody, and I mean nobody, makes pancakes like I do. These pancakes are tremendous, folks, they're absolutely huge and beautiful. People are talking about it, believe me.
I've got the best pancakes, everybody says so. They're golden and fluffy, just like the golden days of America. We're making breakfast great again, and it starts with these pancakes. I've been in the pancake business for a long time, and I can tell you, I've never seen pancakes like these before.
These pancakes are so big, they're like the skyscrapers of the breakfast world. I mean, you've never seen pancakes this big, this beautiful. People from all over are coming to taste these pancakes, and they're saying, "Wow, these are the best pancakes I've ever had in my life." And you know what? They're right.
We're not just making pancakes, we're making history. These pancakes are going to go down in the books as the greatest pancakes ever made. Forget about the other pancakes, they're nothing compared to mine. Mine are the biggest, the best, the most incredible pancakes you'll ever taste.
So, when you sit down to enjoy these pancakes, remember that you're not just having breakfast, you're having a piece of history. These pancakes are making breakfast great again, and I'm proud to be the one serving them to you.
If only he could form a complete thought like that. You nailed his Trump-isms, but the real Trump would have gone off on an Adderall-fueled tangent by the third sentence.
https://www.theonion.com/biden-announces-he-s-reheating-chili-if-anyone-s-intere-1851174872
Get these poor onion writers some food, they're obviously hungry.
Would Joe try to sniff me while I ate them though?
I like how Trump has has multiple sexual assault allegations and has gone on record saying he just grabs women by the pussy because he's famous enough to get away with it, but it's Biden that gets made fun of for being a creep.
If Biden were a Republican they'd be wearing t shirts saying "I'd sniff them, too".