this post was submitted on 17 Jan 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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top 19 comments
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[–] [email protected] 67 points 6 months ago

He graduated to Dad.

[–] DocMcStuffin 46 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Oh no, disowned isn't nearly far enough. Dad should have responded, "My hands are named crows because they are part of a murder."

[–] jaybone 1 points 6 months ago

Can’t stand an Opal.

[–] kibiz0r 42 points 6 months ago

“You may sit at the family table, but we do not grant you the rank of family member.”

[–] DarkMessiah 37 points 6 months ago

Does he have a child anywhere he might be unaware of? Because that was a dad joke and a half, right there.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I would have been happy knowing that my son is already turning into a father.

[–] gnate 12 points 6 months ago

"You either die a son, or live long enough to become the father."

[–] [email protected] 18 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

His first clue they didn't like him was the fact his name's Taylor. It's a job title not a name.

[–] FlyingSquid 21 points 6 months ago (3 children)

Tailor is a job title. Taylor is a job title for someone not very good at tailoring.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Or a tailor that never learned to spell. Im actually jealous. My name is Brock Shitshoveler and I bet you can guess what I do for a living.

[–] FlyingSquid 8 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Nice to meet you. I'm Wanda. Wanda Givehead. I work at the street corner of Elm and Miller.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] jaybone 2 points 6 months ago

Can you guys stop flirting with each other?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago

Taylor is ye olde spelling.

[–] gnate 1 points 6 months ago

I blame the sign painter.

[–] assassin_aragorn 8 points 6 months ago

"Son, your mother may have brought you into this world, but I can take you out of it."

[–] doingthestuff 7 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Tl;Dr op's folks know what's up

[–] Nikki 10 points 6 months ago (1 children)

did you just tldr a tweet?

[–] unreachable 4 points 6 months ago

a ~~tweet~~#xhit