this post was submitted on 12 Jan 2024
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Source: Goat To Self

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[–] aodhsishaj 93 points 10 months ago (2 children)

"Well, to be honest I am a porpoise. An Orca to be more precise."

[–] [email protected] 24 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] Viking_Hippie 24 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] LazaroFilm 8 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

Thanks it was a killer joke.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago

Cetacean needed.

[–] BrerChicken 17 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Orcas are dolphins, but porpoises are not.

[–] aodhsishaj 9 points 10 months ago
[–] Decoy321 69 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (2 children)

"how dare you?! I am an orca. That other name is offensive."

[–] VindictiveJudge 16 points 10 months ago

"I am a dolphin, not a whale."

[–] samus12345 10 points 10 months ago (1 children)

An orca isn't an Italian orc?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 10 months ago

Only if you say it like this: orc-à 👌

[–] [email protected] 28 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I think tom scott did a video where he mentioned that in the original languange it was "whale killer" not killer whale but people tranlated it word for word, losinh the meaning.

[–] Shard 16 points 10 months ago

Sir, you are not helping your client's case in the slightest...

[–] [email protected] 28 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Not being a whaleologist, this joke took me 15 seconds to get, but got it I did.

[–] HonoraryMancunian 16 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I legit thought it was an orcas-are-technically-dolphins joke that I didn't quite get

[–] Animated_beans 7 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Wait, that isn't the joke? Can you explain it simpletons like me?

[–] Quetzalcutlass 21 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

Orcas are also known as killer whales. The joke is that the prosecutor is trying to get him to call himself a killer.

[–] Animated_beans 5 points 10 months ago

Omg I can't believe I didn't get that. Thank you for explaining it

[–] Kill_John_Lennon 7 points 10 months ago

Killer whale

[–] samus12345 6 points 10 months ago

whaleologist

[–] Agent641 15 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Arent they actually dolphins?

[–] Heavybell 7 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Dolphins and orcas are both porpoises. :)

[–] [email protected] 24 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

No, dolphins and porpoises are separate families. Orcas are with the dolphins. Porpoises are actually closer with other types of whales like belugas and narwhals. At least per the most widely accepted taxonomy.

All of these are classified as cetaceans though (infraoder, above family) and of course have a common ancestor if you go back far enough.

[–] Heavybell 3 points 10 months ago
[–] [email protected] 15 points 10 months ago

Stamets, what the hell? Are you trying to break my upvote finger or something? It's starting to get sore...

[–] LeHorror 12 points 10 months ago

Your Otter! This trial is nothing but a whale hunt!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago (1 children)

We call them "blubber snatchers"

[–] mack7400 1 points 10 months ago

Bath wolves

[–] Axiochus 5 points 10 months ago

Wasn't there an episode of Bob's burgers about this? Where they had a trial of the wicked witch?

[–] Everythingispenguins 5 points 10 months ago (1 children)

The real question is, are beluga wales good lawyers?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

Why, because they're white?!