this post was submitted on 09 Jan 2024
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[–] Dasnap 115 points 11 months ago (1 children)

You'll never do anything with that mindset. People learn new shit all the time, can't do it all while you're young.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 11 months ago (1 children)

True. Still a damn hard feeling to get rid of.

[–] Chriswild 5 points 11 months ago

Probably why old people rarely expand their skills into new things.

[–] [email protected] 95 points 11 months ago (4 children)

Just in case anyone needs to hear it: You can absolutely start things in your 30's and still feel fulfilled by them, even if there's some 16 year old who is better at them. Do them for you, and don't compare yourself to others.

(Also maybe don't make combat sports your thing if you're prone to that)

[–] [email protected] 19 points 11 months ago (1 children)

My friend's father started karate in his 60s and has been going for years now!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago (1 children)

That's rad-- For sure there are 16 year olds who can kick his ass, but who cares!

[–] captainlezbian 2 points 11 months ago

There were 16 year olds who could kick his ass before he started too.

And tbh I’d generally just assume a random 16 year old can kick a random 60 year old’s ass. Growing old is a blessing and a curse

[–] [email protected] 13 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Let's take the NHL for example. These are people at the top of their game. Then a few times in a decade, a 16-17 years old come in and is already better than the vast majority of all the NHL players.

In the chess world, some 8-9 years old beat some GrandMasters. Imagine being an old fart that studied hard to get the GM title, get obliterated by a kid.

It happens all the time.

Let's transpose that to a new activity you've never done before, while that young kid has done it for a year a more already. For sure, you will get your ass handed to you, unless you are a natural talent of your generation.

I guess that rant is about this: if it's not your livelihood, then who cares as long as you enjoy the activity and don't hurt anyone (on purpose in case of contact/fighting sports)

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago

Totally. There's loooots of room in any activity to become great at it at any stage in life, without being anywhere near world-class. Or be terrible at it and still have fun. That's also good.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Or do compare yourself to others and use that as motivation to get better. I started HEMA a few months ago and still suck at it, but training and sparring with people that are way better than me is what is giving me purpose as I keep thinking "Wow I can't wait to get as good as them!"

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago

I tend to compare to myself from a x months ago or whatever.

As long as I'm improving I'm happy.

You can't start something and expect to be better than people who've been doing it for years. That's legit stupid.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

Yeah, for sure there are healthy ways to compare yourself to others. Maybe a better way to put it is don't let your self-worth or satisfaction be affected by comparison to others.

Less pithy though, lol.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I started running last year. I'm 33. Just ran my first half marathon in November. I feel better and more capable than I ever did in my 20's. It's never too late.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

That's awesome! And like... 33 isn't really that old to be starting something new anyway, lol. Sometimes we fall into the trap of thinking that everybody peaks in their 20's, but that is silly.

[–] [email protected] 55 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Of course anon sucks at it, they just started! That's pretty much the first step of any new thing.

[–] [email protected] 42 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

Especially because those younger kids don't even think about it. Getting beat up a bit is the entire point of going to class in Muay Thai. If you're not getting beat up you're not progressing, and if you're not progressing then you should be moving towards doing so.

Everyone has been beaten up by someone younger/smaller/weaker than them in the sport. It's a rite of passage and is a large reason why the sport is filled with humility and discipline. There's always someone better than you, and it's extremely important to keep that in mind especially when working with those who have less experience.

I started when I was 14 and after 6 months of working my ass off to become proficient enough to spar for the first time, a girl half my size made it very apparent I had 0 clue what I was doing. I'm 24 now and I still get regular, similarly grounding reminders. A few weeks ago I trained with someone who made me feel like I was still learning to jab, and I learned more from them in one class than I had in the prior few weeks.

[–] [email protected] 41 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I re-enrolled in Uni when i was 33. I was kinda worrying that I'd be 'the old guy' and shunned by the younger students.

Totally not true. I never felt any exclusion. The only one calling me old would be myself, jokingly. If OP would just ask for tips/advice from the younger ones who beat his ass they would certainly help them.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago

when i was in community college, the most chill person was the 30 year old dude. if youre in education theres no age ceiling imo, as there is always a bunch of practical classes that will be relevant at any age.

like im not gonna complain about the age of someone taking a cooking class.

[–] macrocarpa 39 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Theres a video on youtube of romesh ranganathan, a successful Sri Lankan British comic who is fucking hilarious, successful and famous. Talented, clever, funny guy.

He says "I have an utter prick living inside my head and he talks to me a all the time.....hes a fucking asshole"

Same voice as op

Even when you're doing something of growth it finds a reason. Like op, training himself to be better in muay Thai and only comparing himself to those younger, faster and fitter than him. How could you possibly win that comparison.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

If the only way someone can beat you is by being younger, faster, stronger, taller, etc... that's good.

[–] PlantDadManGuy 33 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Anon has a self-pity fetish

[–] PoliticalAgitator 6 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Anon is a judgmental asshole and assumes everyone else is too.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 11 months ago

Number one, it takes time and practice to get good at anything, so being a wimp because you aren't on top in the first year is just... wimpy.

Second, there's this saying that went around the school I mostly trained at. "Hard fist is for kids, soft fist is for old timers". And it's true. Striking arts favor youth and resilience more than grappling arts. You start getting older, and you worry less about a knockout than you do about not being in pain after the sparring session is over lol.

Dude just wimped out instead of putting in the work or switching to something he could physically function at

[–] Spacebar 28 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Just do what you enjoy. Who gives a Fck what others think. Ffs, this post is infuriating.

[–] khannie 10 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Yeah it really is infuriating. I started MT at 26 and fought until I was 36. Nobody laughs at anybody in a Thai gym. Those who would are rooted out early because there's always someone better than you.

Go in, work your balls off, don't be a dick, keep coming back and you get respect. It's that simple.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

Exactly i tried telling op this buti couldn't reply because 4chan captcha sucks.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Countless amounts of people only pick up new skills before they're adults because, once they're adults, they feel humiliated for, gasps, not being immediately good at something they've just started practicing for the first time.

This is a brainrot that will make you grow hollow and valueless, a shell of a human being who cannot stand the minimum amount of struggle to improve themself, ultimately amounting to an empty shade that might as well be a hum in the background, unable to grow, unable to improve, unable to leave any further mark on the world. Embrace the humility inherent to climbing a new ladder, or else you will never feel proud for anything new you ever do.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

Life's too short to give a fuck. I'm turning 40 soon, and I'm very overweight, but about 4 months ago I started dancing; contemporary, modern, hiphop, and voguing.

It kicks my ass all over the place, but I keep going, every day, and I can feel the improvement in my strength, flexibility, and just everything.

I have my first paying performance this week, and I've just been asked to audition for a dance company that's starting up. They know I can't do it all, they know my limitations, but I show up everytime with a smile and ready to work, because I don't care what anyone says, I know I'm fucking awesome and so should you (whoever you are reading this, no seriously you're awesome, go kill it).

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago

This is super inspiring - congratulations on putting in the work and loving it! And it would be great to hear more as you continue on your journey.

[–] captainlezbian 16 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

15 year olds learning martial arts for the first time look stupid too. Join an adult focused class if you’re self conscious

[–] VubDapple 6 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

Anon's hopelessness suggests he is clinically depressed. Also, I'm wondering about past experiences where anon felt mocked and ashamed. Perhaps anon is depressed because of an attachment trauma history?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

So, 4chans target demographic? We don't go there to be happy, we go there because it's OK to cry there.

[–] psmgx 4 points 11 months ago

33 years old. Thinks he's a boomer. Lol.

Got gud noob

[–] MonsieurArchi 3 points 11 months ago

That's just a stupid ass way of looking at life.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

You gotta find something that you don't feel invested in, that you can happily do badly for the pure joy of doing it, without any pressure for it to be good. My partner calls it a dysfunktionlust.