this post was submitted on 04 Jan 2024
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Hydro Homies

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[–] [email protected] 67 points 1 year ago (7 children)

What if water is also the oldest nickname and its been so long that we forgot what the real name was

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

Anyone who discovers water's actual name would have total power over it and command all the seas. Turns out water was actually an eldritch demon whose only purpose was to create a legion of legions of living creatures entirely dependent on it for their survival. One day the being that is water will be ready and their grander plans will see us all conquering the stars.

[–] Delphia 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] jaybone 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

He’s gonna say that a lot.

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Probably was like walterburg fluid and eventually simplified to waduh

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

That's actually speculated to be the case with the word "bear." There was a superstition that saying its true name might summon it.

[–] Agent641 4 points 1 year ago
[–] Jackcooper 3 points 1 year ago

Bears were the original voldemort

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[–] Windex007 27 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I've heard a few old timers call it "Adam's Ale", so it has at least one

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[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 year ago (1 children)

ITT: the reason water doesn't have a nickname.

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[–] beckerist 24 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Fun fact: one of the oldest languages with an interpretation of the word "water" is Sumerian from over 3500 years ago.

It was pronounced "ay"

(like Fonzi, not eye)

[–] jaybone 6 points 1 year ago

I’m betting there are many languages which predate that (which we don’t know of) that all have words for water.

[–] ChicoSuave 18 points 1 year ago

You never heard a white guy mishandle some Spanish and call it "Aw Gwa"?

[–] LazaroFilm 18 points 1 year ago
[–] ZooGuru 14 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

H2flOw (stolen from my wife)

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] ZooGuru 7 points 1 year ago

Ooooh. My wife is apparently a comedy thief.

[–] TehBamski 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (5 children)

~~Give your wife a high five for me. This one is solid.~~

Apparently, this is @[email protected] 's wife.

[–] RedditWanderer 7 points 1 year ago

You mean, a fivy?

[–] Kase 6 points 1 year ago

No no, it's liquid.

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[–] SeabassDan 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It was grandfathered in from when there was no competition, and therefore no need for nicknames. "I need a drink" simply meant water. The beverage.

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[–] Insig 13 points 1 year ago

I'd a mate that called it council pop.

[–] GlowInTheDuck 11 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

Some of that double-H O

[–] Mr_Blott 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

In Scotland it's called "Cooncil Juice"

[–] DarylDutch 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The Dutch use "gemeente pils" which means local government beer. So that is pretty similar.

[–] Hagdos 7 points 1 year ago (2 children)

True, but there shouldn't be a space between the words. Gemeentepils

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[–] shalva97 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

People buy so many different fancy drinks... For me just tap is enough.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Faucet dew? Plumbweiser? No water puns in Englishland?

Edit: Fountain dew!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

Good ol' "Wawa."

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (2 children)

When my little sister was about 3 she would only drink juice. One night i grabbed the juice pitcher, an empty jar and pretended too mix up some juice for her (we always had the frozen juice concentrate), as i poured a glass for her she asked what kind of juice is was. I said 'it is clear juice.'

I am in my 40s now, and she still asks me if i want a glass of clear juice.

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Pretty sure the nickname it gets is "H20"

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

A molecule with 20 hydrogens?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Round where I'm from (north of England) people call it "council pop". I suppose the equivalent for the US would be "EPA soda" or "state cola" or something.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

Wawa? H²0? The drink (golf term)?

[–] paddirn 5 points 1 year ago

Gimme some of that cleary deary

[–] olafurp 5 points 1 year ago

Liquid life is nice, but the only time I heard it was when referring to coffee.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

It's been called Adam's Ale since at least 1643 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adam%27s_ale

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I mean, I say gimme a glass of h2o. I mean... I know it's the atoms but it's kinda a nickname.

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Coochie juice lol

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You could take the old 'would you support a ban on dihydrogen monoxide' thing a bit further and end up with:

Dihymo. (Die-Hai-Mo)

There ya go. Dumb nickname for water.

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Gimme a chug of the ole fish breath

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

"Water? Never touched the stuff. Fish fuck in it."

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