this post was submitted on 02 Jan 2024
493 points (93.9% liked)

Memes

46039 readers
3599 users here now

Rules:

  1. Be civil and nice.
  2. Try not to excessively repost, as a rule of thumb, wait at least 2 months to do it if you have to.

founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] bruhduh 97 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Don't dump December ended bro... It's time to stop

[–] dojan 27 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 73 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] Bristlecone 63 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (3 children)

As a nurse, I can say this is always the answer, vegetables & fruit. The American diet is horrible for the GI system. When I went vegan some years ago I started having three a day, takes less than a minute apiece

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Over here with my preferred snack of apple and peanut butter. Guess an apple a day DOES keep the doctor away huh?

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

I started just mixing some psyllium husk into my usual water consumption, but that's partially to support my intermittent fasting schedule.

[–] [email protected] 55 points 1 year ago (3 children)

The Lemmy cycle:

  • bean memes
  • shitposts
  • beef memes
  • memes about never pooping
  • back to start
[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago

quick, get this poster some bean memes

[–] juladuni 5 points 1 year ago

points 2 and 4 are the same.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Ghostalmedia 44 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You’re two thirds through the Lemmy 3 Days No Poop Challenge.

Hang in there!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

Exactly my thought when i saw this post

[–] bruhduh 43 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Probably more effective than any of the suggestions so far:

Make sure you are well hydrated and do some exercise or at the very least a long or high-energy walk.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Depends, are you trying to poop, or doing the 3 day challenge?

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago (3 children)

For the love of God eat fiber and drink water. How hard is this?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Well, I haven't pooped since last year, I bet that stuff is pretty damn hard by now if you really must know. 😅

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Some people have slower digestive systems than others

It's not uncommon for me to go several days without a BM, no matter how healthily or unhealthily I've been eating

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] WhisperingEye 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I do drink a lot water and eat a lot of nuts and bananas, and apples and eggplants...

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

Drink some coffee

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago (2 children)

You can hold it in for up to 2 weeks, speaking from experience here.

You'll be fine

[–] WhisperingEye 5 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Thank you for believing in me

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago

I recommend pooping asap.

[–] IzzyScissor 15 points 1 year ago

Why are you still holding on to last year's shit?

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

This might only be me, but when I'm constipated, my go to is hydration and lettuce.

I'll get myself a nice big salad, and eat it super fast. The idea is that if you eat it fast, you won't chew as much. The partially unchewed lettuce can help irritate your guts into doing a bit of a clean cycle. (Plus, veggies are already great for constipation.)

Best of luck, and wishing a healthy one for you soon haha.

[–] flubba86 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

That's a good tip. My personal choice is celery. Celery has higher water content, and more insoluble fibre than lettuce. And you can eat it pretty quickly too.

[–] jennwiththesea 13 points 1 year ago

Fiber and water. Find yourself a nice, vegetable soup recipe.

[–] EdibleFriend 10 points 1 year ago

You're just charging your ultimate attack.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

Try chewing gum, a few pieces a day.

[–] [email protected] 34 points 1 year ago (1 children)

BE VERY CAREFUL DOING THIS!!!! you may accidentally chew too much gum, and blow a bubble so big that you float away into the sky.

[–] Possible_EmuWrangler 8 points 1 year ago

You could also swallow it by mistake and it gets stuck for years.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

Vege smoothie

[–] Feathercrown 7 points 1 year ago

Don't Poop January

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

Metamucil, salad, veggies. No meat or cheese. You’ll be good by tomorrow.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

Whatever mizu did, do the opposite.

[–] GeorgeTheFourth 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

OP this post is a few hours old now if still nothing, you could try a single dose of milk of magnesia to get things going but continue a high fiber diet the next few days to get everything back on track.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Thcdenton 6 points 1 year ago

5 mile run always does it for me.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Two words: magnesium citrate.

[–] AlfredEinstein 8 points 1 year ago

Two other words: Eat vegetables.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

The seed shells from Cassia Angustifolia

Make a cup of tea from them, wait 12 to 24 hours.

Enjoy. Just don't drink it everyday for weeks.

You can find it in herbal stores i am sure.

It is prescribed by doctors at least in some European contries

[–] NightAuthor 4 points 1 year ago

3 times a day to every 3 days is normal.

When was the last time you pooped?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Fibers or a french breakfast : coffee + cigarette = poo (or in French CCC: clope, cafee, caca). Or if you realy need to, those gels you can put in your bum if you're into that

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

i literally yelled "Hey Sharon! You gotta see this" today in the washroom.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Get the flu. It'll clean you right out. The vaccine wasn't very effective this year. Ask me how I know.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] Viking_Hippie 4 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Do as I do and get Legionaire's disease on the 30th of December. Bonus points if that's your birthday like it is mine.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] boatsnhos931 4 points 1 year ago

Coffee and crunches homie

load more comments
view more: next ›