this post was submitted on 08 Apr 2024
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I've been thinking about writing a book called "I fucking hate cooking"
And it would be a guide to making the easiest meals possible. But healthy and cheap. Something like this would be in the book.
But I'm lazy, I'll never write that book. Plus I hate cooking too much to actually write it.
I also dislike cooking. I like going to Costco and buying a rotisserie chicken so I don't have to cook meat during the week.
I also hate cooking, but I'm broke and vegetarian.
1lbs of dried chick peas goes in my housemates pressure cooker on Sunday, and 12 servings of chickpeas gets scooped into ziplock bags and thrown in the fridge and freezer for the rest of the week.
On top of rice with a bag of microwave steam veg, stirred into a premade curry, blended and served on top of pasta like a weird hummus alfredo, thrown into a Quesadilla (side note, what's a Quesadilla without cheese called?), smashed on top of toast and covered in whatever condiment I have. Or more realistically, I toss some salt in the zip lock bag and just eat out of the bag with a spoon while staring into the fridge wondering what I'm going to make for dinner, before grabbing a slightly limp carrot and an almost empty jar of peanut butter I left out instead of throwing away and telling myself "this is a balanced choice, protein, carbs, fats, a vegetable..."
Rice gets a similar treatment to the chickpeas, a big batch in the rice cooker on Sunday, divvied up and frozen for quick and cheap rice during the week without having to cook it from scratch after work. We don't have "minute rice" or parboiled rice in my country, and the "microwave pouch" rice doesn't fit in my budget.
A former roommate got me "What the Fuck Should I Make for Dinner?!" as a gift a few years back. Pretty funny book, written in the style that reminds me of Bill Burr a little bit.
"We're making fucking roasted chicken, alright? So buy the damn chicken, along with these herbs you probably don't fucking have, and we'll get this shit rolling."