this post was submitted on 07 Apr 2024
655 points (96.6% liked)

Not The Onion

12534 readers
1335 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] [email protected] 80 points 8 months ago (4 children)

Look at California. You can't have more earthquakes than California. You want to figure out why?"

I think they're called fault lines. This is on the level of "tides go in, tides go out, you can't explain that!" Followed by an "are you fucking kidding?" face

[–] CosmicTurtle 40 points 8 months ago (3 children)

There was a Republican politician that said something along the lines that God was punishing states because they allowed gays. And then his state got hammered in the ass by another storm.

He didn't walk back his statement.

These people just want to blame everything bad on their enemies.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Years ago Rick Perry also demanded that Texans pray for rain and god responded by setting the entire state on fire shortly after.

[–] postmateDumbass 5 points 8 months ago

And all the smoke particles made it rain?

[–] mPony 1 points 8 months ago

I wonder if Rick Perry was watching the Super Bowl the year Prince performed, when it suddenly rained out of nowhere.

[–] afraid_of_zombies 2 points 8 months ago

And yet I am the asshole when I point out what belief in skydaddy will cause.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 months ago

Wasn't there one that had his house blown away?

[–] [email protected] 20 points 8 months ago (1 children)

You also graduated third grade! There must be dozens of us in America!!

[–] Masamune 15 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Sadly, none of us have been elected to office.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 8 months ago

Too smart to get into that hassle.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 8 months ago (3 children)

Nah it's god, and when it's lightning god angy. And rain is god sad. And alligators our ornery because they got all them teeth but no toothbrush.

[–] postmateDumbass 6 points 8 months ago

Dont forget the Angels bowling leauge night.

[–] RizzRustbolt 4 points 8 months ago

If my toothbrush was made of meat but I couldn't eat it, I'd be angry too.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago

Mama's wrong again!

[–] PoliticalAgitator 6 points 8 months ago

It's a cult thing. You believe ridiculous shit that wouldn't fool a child as a way of proving your faith. The more ridiculous, the more faithful you are.