this post was submitted on 05 Apr 2024
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Being fat is unhealthy, and generally seen as unattractive. It is preferable to share constructive feedback with overweight people to motivate them to improve themselves and be happier people. Fat acceptance is the opposite of compassion, because it makes it harder for overweight people to improve themselves by denying that they have a problem, which destroys their motivation to solve it.
Btw, this comic is trash.
Jeezum fuck you're gross. There is zero motivation to take care of a body you hate. It has been scientifically shown that shaming pepple does NOT make them lose weight but that doesnt matter to people who only want to feel superior to others.This is a comic about a chubby woman wearing clothes she feels good in and existing in society, and makes no comment about what she's doing to take care of her health. The only trash here is you. Fuck off, loser.
It's a caricature of "fatphobic person" bullying an overweight woman and a cringy made-up comeback. For an ideologue who shills fat acceptance propaganda there is no line between bullying and sincere advice, so in your warped mind anyone is a bully regardless of their intentions or how they speak. As long as they say anything negative about being overweight, they are a bad person. I didn't say anything controversial or disrespectful, yet I'm being called gross and a loser, which proves my point.
To address your straw man, nothing in what I said should cause an overweight woman to hate her body. The point is to not be content with being unhealthy. Many women who are fat could easily be more attractive if they lose weight. To convince these women that they should be content with where they are, and not work to be healthier and derive confidence from being more attractive is doing them a serious disservice.
She has confidence, but not the right kind, because she's not deriving it from being attractive to you. Your comment history reveals exactly how gross you are. I would rather be fat than be attractive to you.
You would be more attractive to women if you stopped being a disgusting, self-centered creep. I'd say you would be more confident, too, but you obviously have a glut of unearned confidence.
Since you're clearly thickheaded and don't have any better responses than throwing insults, I wont even bother addressing what you just said. But I'll be happy to tell you that I have no interest in women like you who are arrogant and rude.
I, too, like to go up to random people and verbally announce their flaws. It's compassionate, after all. These people need to be TOLD they're fuck ups, otherwise how else could they POSSIBLY know about their misgivings? I find that random advice as a stranger is usually not well received......it's super weird. I just helped them fix themselves!
Jesus Christ.
Bro, someone told me my neck was fucked up. Have been working on my posture ever since, its all based on if it's said in good faith.
You are being rude and insulting. It really makes me question how genuine your emotional tirade really is.
Let me make this very clear, in case it really wasn't. My reply was made in the context of OP's fat acceptance propaganda in a public forum, directed to no one single person. Likewise, me stating that it's preferable to give constructive advice, was primarily speaking of doing so in a public context. Secondarily, it meant you should do so in private too. But what does that mean? With whom should you have these conversations, and what would you say? I addressed none of these questions and left them unanswered for bevity. You decided to fill up that gap in the most uncharitable way possible. That's your problem.
Do you think telling fat people a) they're fat and b) being fat is unhealthy actually results in any positive behavior changes?
I would not tell them that they are "fat". In real life I would probably hint that they are actually an attractive person who got too overweight, and that they need to work on improving their health. Generally, to call an overweight person "fat" is rude, and unproductive. My goal would be to motivate said person to do things to get healthier, not bark at them like a moron because I think that they are overweight.
Out of actual curiosity about something that has been rolling around in my brain for years, do you think that fat people don't know they are fat?
No, that's why I said it's unproductive to call them fat. They most likely understand that they are overweight, so why should I use a word that might be hurtful?
I'm not socially inept. For some people I might not even say a thing, for others I may see a benefit in reminding them to do things like not forgetting to exercise etc. It depends on the person and the circumstance. The point is to be helpful, not to point out other people's flaws because I just noticed them.
Does that make sense?
It does, and I get where you're coming from. My concern is that it's very difficult to tell who might need a push and who might be destroyed by it. I know that at least personally, I come off like a person who might need to be reminded, but if someone said anything, I would be nice about the criticism to their face, but then would go home, binge eat uncontrollably and then would avoid seeing that person again and would basically never eat around them again.
But, as you say, you're not socially inept, so if you are careful, I'm sure it would be fine. Something that might be helpful for you is to separate beauty from health. You can't be fat and healthy, but you can be fat and beautiful. Beauty is subjective, and if people choose to look a certain way at the expense of their health, it's their right to choose that. A majority of people may prefer to have a partner with a low bmi, but not all. Health, on the other hand, is objective. We can statistically show that having a bmi in the range of 20-22 is the least likely to cause disease (I might be off by a number, but I don't have the info in front of me atm).
I know that for me, someone being concerned about my health and my longevity would come across as kind. Relating it to beauty would come across as cruel.
Thank you for an insightful comment.
Although it's an anecdote from yourself, I will still keep that in mind.
So you'd passively aggressively let them know you don't find them attractive and you think that'll somehow motivate them to be healthier? Is this something you've actually tried? How do people respond to you "hinting" that you think they're too fat?
I can tell you how I responded to someone doing that
I started walking more, tracking calories, and I'm working towards losing weight. I want to be a healthier, better person
Can you describe how they hinted to you?
I never said anyone should be passive aggressive, or that they must make their interaction with an overweight person about themselves. I'm not sure how you made this interpretation based on what I said.
How do you hint to someone you think they're too overweight without it being passive-aggressive?
The point isn't to tell said person that they are overweight, but to push them to self-improvement. In some cases you don't have to mention that said person is being overweight at all. But if it benefits the person to be reminded, then it can be done in a good faith manner. It matters what your intention is.
I like fat curvy chicks. This is just your opinion, man.
Curves are one thing. There's curvy, and then there's "curvy", you know what I mean?
Since you're a fan of constructive criticism, here is some for you:
You'd be more likeable if you learned to be more empathetic
What's unempathetic about what I just wrote?
How often do you prefer to share that constructive (in your eyes) feedback with people that you view to be less than perfect? Do you limit it to folk you view as overweight, or do you open it up to other topics as well?
Everyone is less than perfect.
We both know that. You didn't see fit to answer my question, though. That's tellin'.
You are asking me to share an anecdote while being rude, and I also don't owe you an answer, soooo...
I find your first statement to be quite rude. I also find you wanting in your ability to back it up, as well. May you prove to be a better person in your future endeavors.
it works in most of asia
Yes it does. As a fat person myself, if everyone around me told me I’m perfect as I was (120kg, really unhealthy with shitty endurance and eating habits) I would’ve never changed for the better and thought I was really great as is and would’ve probably developed worse conditions than those I was in.