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I think you're underestimating the loathing an abused kid can have for their upbringing. I was raised deeply evangelical Christian (demons are real and possess people, judgment day soon, certain people are Antichrists, etc) and only escaped after becoming an adult and realizing how nuts it is. I have repaired relationships with the one parent who is still Christian, but even though I decided to keep them in my life I REFUSE to participate in their religion at all. There's no way I'd switch back under any circumstances, and it sounds like this guy is similarly distancing himself from his past.
For anyone who feels uncomfortable refusing to go to family events, think about it like this:
If you didn't know this person, would you want to go to the event? If not, don't go.
I dunno. I wouldn't go to someones funeral if i wouldn't know them at all.
Not the same thing as spending time with them.
I used to feel a lot more strongly about Christian indoctrination until I realized the majority of my fellow atheists were raised Christian but escaped from the indoctrination anyway. I mean... the indoctrination can't have been that successful if so many people are willingly leaving the church.
I think it's actually normal for this to happen to religions, and it's why some more extreme religious countries have rules against apostasy. Harder to leave a religion when the legal rules around it will literally ruin your life. The US and other secular nations have slowly become less and less religious as time has gone on, it seems like a natural progression to me.
I have the feeling that most online atheist groups are actually self-help groups for people traumatized by evangelical Christians.