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[serious replies only] Relationship advice (ani.social)

submitted 9 months ago by [email protected] to c/asklemmy

14 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Hi everyone!

I am F21. I have a boyfriend (M20). We are in relationship approximately 1 month (before that we was best friends for 7 or even more years).

We have a lot in common an I really love him (and as I know he too).

We started dating as I accidentally saw my photo on his laptop (I already liked him). After asking him what was that he told me that he liked me for a long time and was afraid to tell me that.

As our personalities - we are typical “otaku” (anime nerds), so we always had hanged out together in the past.

Now everything fine, I really like him, but I am bothered about him being trembling every single time I am close. I know for sure that I am the only one he likes to talk (we are both extremely quiet personalities) and we are together 99% of time. And this happens only if I take his hand or hug him.

I don’t want to ask him about this because I afraid he will get ashamed of this.

Should I worry?

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago

Can't answer question directly. Just, when I was your age, there was so much I needed to learn. Every person takes time to figure things out, overcome shortcomings, work thru stuff.

At 21, lot to figure out, discover, learn. For me, cuz childhood abuse, trauma, autism, I was a mess. No idea how to have healthy relationships, positive communication, etc.

So, could be your dude is just young, figuring stuff out. Or could be something else. Only way to know is to ask, talk about it. No assumptions, no judgment. Communication is key.

Might be useful to research how to communicate effectively. How to talk about stuff in not about criticize, instead seeing other person's viewpoint, meeting half way. Problem is, other person may not want to or be able to.

You're doing good, asking questions. Keep doing that, and good luck.