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[serious replies only] Relationship advice (ani.social)

submitted 9 months ago by [email protected] to c/asklemmy

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Hi everyone!

I am F21. I have a boyfriend (M20). We are in relationship approximately 1 month (before that we was best friends for 7 or even more years).

We have a lot in common an I really love him (and as I know he too).

We started dating as I accidentally saw my photo on his laptop (I already liked him). After asking him what was that he told me that he liked me for a long time and was afraid to tell me that.

As our personalities - we are typical “otaku” (anime nerds), so we always had hanged out together in the past.

Now everything fine, I really like him, but I am bothered about him being trembling every single time I am close. I know for sure that I am the only one he likes to talk (we are both extremely quiet personalities) and we are together 99% of time. And this happens only if I take his hand or hug him.

I don’t want to ask him about this because I afraid he will get ashamed of this.

Should I worry?

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 9 months ago

Can't vouch for your exact case, but I can tell you what works for mine.

One month is a short time to be in a romantic relationship, despite having known each other before. It may take time to settle in.

However, if you need to talk, then you should talk it out. It's important to be in the same page about the relationship. Otherwise it leads to tension.

I think the longer you keep the tension, the harder it becomes. While it's understand to not want to have awkward moments, some of these moments are unavoidable, and some are even essential. You may be afraid to risk your long friendship with him, but have it occur to you that you can use your friendship to your advantage in dealing with this awkwardness?

What you can probably do is intensify the touch in hope he get settled in more quickly. If you get some resistance, you can casually point it out to initiate that discussion in a light way.

I'm rooting on you!