Ask Lemmy

26933 readers

982 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions

Please don't post about US Politics. If you need to do this, try [email protected]

Rules: (interactive)

1) Be nice and; have fun

Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them

2) All posts must end with a '?'

This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?

3) No spam

Please do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.

4) NSFW is okay, within reason

Just remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either [email protected] or [email protected]. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].

5) This is not a support community.

It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email [email protected]. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.

Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu

founded 1 year ago

MODERATORS

131

At what age do you think is too old to be living with parents? (self.asklemmy)

submitted 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) by treechicken to c/asklemmy

102 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Background+rant: I'm in my early to mid-20s and still living at home with my dad. I'm not a NEET and am employed at a normal office job. I enjoy the comfort of my home. I like being with family (and I believe they feel blessed to have their kid at home longer). I like not having to pay rent. However, I also keep feeling some nagging pressure to "grow up and leave the nest".

Everything in my mind tells me that moving out is irrational. I would lose 1/3rd of my income to rent, go through a bunch of logistical hoops to find a new place, lose the last few moments I have with my family, just so I can prove to nobody that I'm independent, maybe discover new things, and also probably get in on some of that loneliness action that the rest of my generation is going through.

Yet, the pressure is still there. No one looks down on me for it, but I feel a bit embarrassed to tell people I'm living at home, like I'm admitting failure or incompetency. My friends will occasionally ask when I'm planning on moving out and the question just lingers longer than it should in my head. I compare myself to my parents and grandparents and can't help but feel like a child compared to the people they were when they were at my age.

Obviously quite conflicted on this, so I'm interested in seeing what others have to say.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 months ago

After you're dead maybe it's time for someone to clear your effects.

After the 2008 subprime mortgage crisis which showed that our industrialist masters give no fucks about the well being of the common worker. We will never be able to rely on housing.

That said, I've shared my home and my room for nearly a year during the aftermath of the 2007-2008 crisis. We do what we gotta do.

In the OP case, I'd say talk to the parents openly, the practicality of moving / staying and where they are on it. Sometimes I'm glad for our current solitude, while other times I miss the activity of kids (young adults) and grandkids (actual kids) actively doing stuff. It also meant sometimes they made dinner or baked goods.

When it's not a matter of financial pragmatism, there are always social considerations. Our neighbors and roommates always like having us around while simultaneously being sometimes annoyed by our presence. Sadly, we live in a society where the cost of living supersedes such matters.