this post was submitted on 28 Jun 2023
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Hey Folks!

I've been living abroad for over half my life in a country where tipping is not the norm. At most you would round up. 19€ bill? Here's a 20, keep this change.

Going to the US soon to visit family and the whole idea of tipping makes me nervous. It seems there's a lot of discussion about getting rid of tipping, but I don't know how much has changed in this regard.

The system seems ridiculously unfair, and that extra expense in a country where everything is already so expensive really makes a difference.

So will AITA if I don't tip? Is it really my personal responsibility to make sure my server is paid enough?

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[–] [email protected] 79 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Yes. You really have to tip. 20%. Sorry. And tax isn’t included in the prices of things. That’s the way things work here and you can choose to spend the whole time being annoyed by it or not. But please don’t make a personal protest that only hurts some of the lowest paid and hardest working people.

[–] [email protected] 44 points 1 year ago (4 children)

To be as clear as possible - the minimum wage for tipped staff is $2.13/hr. That's why you have to tip.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 year ago (3 children)

This is deceiving though. In The US tipping is literally everywhere now.

If you are waited on, I. E. Sat at a table or served at a bar, tipping is expected. If you go to a counter and place an order and someone hands you something while you're standing there, those workers aren't making 2.13/hr.

[–] Protegee9850 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

No way in hell am I tipping when I pick up food from a counter. Call me an asshole. I don't care. Blame your boss.

[–] Squizzy 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

This is how the rest of us feel with all tipping, blame your boss why should I pay you

[–] c0mbatbag3l 8 points 1 year ago

I don't tip if there's no service being provided. Bringing my food to my table after I ordered it from a kiosk and filled up my own drink at the soda fountain doesn't qualify.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

And this isn't universal either. For example, Culver's will bring your food out to you but you don't tip. So I would add that if you're waited on and pay for the meal AFTER eating and being waited on, then you tip.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Not true, restuarants have to make up the difference in their wage if they dont make enough in tips.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Yes, up to minimum wage, which is still often not enought to live on.

[–] joe 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It's definitely not enough to live on, but that's beside the point, isn't it? I don't tip any other people because they earn minimum wage-- do you? The point is that the person isn't actually making only $2/hr-- they're making at least minimum wage, with the opportunity to make more via tips.

Tipping needs to end, and the laws changed to reflect it.

[–] ch00f 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Being a waiter is a skilled job that deserves more than minimum wage.

[–] joe 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I don't disagree, but that is irrelevant to the discussion, is it not?

[–] ch00f 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

That's just my response to the argument that you can choose to not tip because waiters will make minimum wage regardless. Minimum wage is not an appropriate salary for that line of work.

However, yes, I agree that laws should be changed to remove tipping or at least to require restaurant owners to pay an appropriate wage for the work with optional tips on top for exceptional service.

[–] joe 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Is it a customer's responsibility to ensure an employee gets paid enough?

[–] ch00f 1 points 1 year ago

Like I said, the laws around tipping need to be changed. In the meantime, the laws are set up so that yes, it is expected that the customer makes the employee’s wage livable.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 year ago

Do you tip the Walmart Greeter? Why or why not?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yeah, legally.

In practice? Lol

[–] Today 1 points 1 year ago

This! My son worked the day shift at waffle house for awhile making about $5/hr in wag+ tips. . I think they have been sued for not paying the difference to employees, but a lawsuit 3 years later doesn't help when your rent was due last month.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

This does depend on which state you’re in (some states don’t have a “tipped wage”), but the vast majority of service workers are not raking in the big bucks, so be generous if you can!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Oregon has kind of a hybrid tipped wage. There's a minimum tipped wage, but if tips don't add up to at least the regular minimum wage then the establishment needs to make up the tips for the shift.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

A higher federal minimum wage would solve this problem. Employers are required by law to make up the difference between the base wage and the federal minimum wage ($7.25/hr) if nobody tips.

But obviously $7.25 isn't a living wage either, so any tipped employee that actually makes the federal minimum is living almost entirely on tips.

https://www.dol.gov/general/topic/wages/wagestips

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

That's assuming that employers follow the law, which for restaurants is rarely the case.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Fair point. And this is why unions are beneficial to the working class, and also why shitty companies like Starbucks try to bust unions.

[–] c0mbatbag3l 1 points 1 year ago

Good unions, yeah. Let's not let the idea of unions in general distract from the fact that they can also suck. Some take too much in dues for what they actually accomplish for their employees, and others can just straight up protect bad people from consequences.

In fact, police unions are exactly why cops get away with literal murder.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (2 children)

If the service is bad I would go for 10%

[–] kilinrax 3 points 1 year ago

Once, in a Manhattan Asian restaurant, our food was 1h45 late and wrong - we were so hungry, we ate it anyway - and I vindictively tipped 5%, so they'd know they fucked up, and I wasn't some dumb Brit who didn't comprehend tipping culture.

My friends legit gasped, like I'd proudly announced I fucked kids or something.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Only if it's really bad though, and on purpose.

If it was something the employee couldn't control or just a generally bad experience that was nobody's fault, still 20%. Place is swamped and the waiter never gave me a drink refill because they're the only one on the floor, still 20%.

[–] GrimChaos 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Serious question. When I was a young kid the baseline tip was 10% and a lot of my life it was 15% and now it's 20%. Why has the baseline tips been increasing? If prices go up then the tip goes up too, so inflation isn't the answer. Just curious.

[–] Smallletter 1 points 1 year ago

Meh, my whole life it 10, when I was in service it was 10. Thus,I still do 10. And no inflation has nothing to do with it since it's percentage. I don't see why 20% should be the norm, that's for like, truly exceptional service. Which I do, when called for.