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Your calendar app integrates with your email app. So when you create a calendar event and want to invite Bob to it, you can use your email contacts to find Bob. When you send the invite, it goes by email from your email system to Bob's. When Bob opens it, his email app asks him if he wants to add the event to his calendar.
Your calendar app and Bob's calendar app never talk to each other directly, but you're still able to invite Bob to an event. Your calendar only talks to your email. Your email talks to your email service, which talks to Bob's email service. Bob's email client talks to Bob's email service and then to Bob's calendar.
This is actually good. It means that anyone can switch to a different email or calendar app and all they have to do is update their contacts. People can use Hotmail or Gmail or Microsoft or self-hosted email, and integrate whatever calendar they like alongside it.
So OP is basically Alice?
It is decentralized. Email is still a fantastic application for this. Reddit, Facebook, Apple, Twitter, messenger/WhatsApp and the likes are all trying to screw this up and force you into their walled of garden.
That could work with any messaging service or app though. You just need some apis.
But well, that's kinda the problem that spurred this question though, you can't, because there are no independent calendar or email apps. If I use Gmail but want to dump Google calendar, too bad for me I guess.
What’s the problem with just not using the portion of the service you do not wish to use? For almost everyone, the integration with email for the calendar is what actually makes it function, where you will be interacting with other people. Most people who want to create a new, unique calendar will just create an additional one in an existing account if they want a separate calendar for a certain purpose.
That’s what I do with my wife for events that we both need to know about. So we have a calendar that is just our stuff and we both subscribe to it (or more like she has the calendar shared with her from my account) but she has permissions to add/remove things. Is there some reason you need a completely separate calendar on a unique service? I feel like we are missing something about your use case to actually be able to understand what you are trying to do.
I use gmail to update my iCloud calendar. In this case the separation is between the email server and email client
This is a bit off. The apps do not integrate in any way. Your calendar app sends an email via your email provider.
For example, you could use Simple Calendar Pro as your calendar app, and K9 Mail as your email app. If you send an invite, SCP does not need to use K9 to send the email invite. It sends the invite itself using the SMTP credentials.