this post was submitted on 17 Nov 2023
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Breakfast pizza is much more like a quiche than traditional pizza. It's just easier to eat without silverware. I personally wouldn't want soda with it, but considering how many people get a large soda in the morning and sip on it all day, getting breakfast and your day's soda in a combo, appeals to my Midwestern frugality.
I am European and this sentence broke something in my soul.
When I got my first job as an American teen, I remember being surprised by it as well. Everyone at the pharmacy I worked at did that, and some topped-up their soda by pouring in a can from the vending machine in the early afternoon. Not that I wasn't used to American soda drinking, but realizing how much of a habit it was for so many of my coworkers, was my first realization that nobody in the workforce was happy, and they were all just self-medicating with sugar and pre-diabetes.
My dear friend.
Please allow me to expose to you some horrors I have witnessed first hand, so that you may go into the world fully aware of the dread it holds and hides.
For there are things that should not be out there.
Like people that sleep - yes, sleep - with a bottle of Coca Cola by their bedstand and wake up during the night to drink from it. And that see as a proper waking ritual to unscrew the cap of the same bottle - or perhaps a fresh one - take a long swig from it, light a cigarette and smoke it as they put on their bedroom slippers.
That reminds me of an ex-roommate who, at some point, stopped drinking water altogether and only drank Coke or Ice Tea. At the same time he'd base most of his diet on McDonalds and went to the gym every other day. He would also only drive to the gym although it was like 5 minutes by foot. Apart from that he also brushed his teeth like once a week tops. I wonder what's become of him.
Probabilities point to...
There's a trick to breakfast pizza. I LOVE to make my own. Start the dough the night before. Fry the bacon the night before, save the grease in the pan. In the morning, cook some sausage and scramble the eggs. I like peppers and onions too, maybe tomatoes. I use white sauce, but it's a choice. I don't know how I'm not fat, but I LOVE fat women, so if any read this and want a good man, hmu 💙