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What are your experiences with polyamory, first or second hand? (feddit.nl)

submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by [email protected] to c/asklemmy

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I personally am in a phenomenally stable polyamorous relationship. I've been married to my wife for 12 years, and she has had the same boyfriend for about half of that time. It's a really fulfilling arrangement for all of us in various ways. We're all genuinely happy and satisfied. I'm kind of casually looking for a boyfriend of my own.

But I feel like I only hear negative stories about other poly experiences. It's always unstable people and situations. It's always two out of three people happy at most. Surely there are other success stories out there, and I just hear the disasters because they're more memorable and fun to tell. Does anyone else have or know a polyamory success story?

EDIT: This blew up a little while I was asleep. I promise I'm at least reading every comment.

EDIT 2.0: ngl I did not expect the trope of polyamory to fix a struggling relationship would be so real. We did just the opposite and are both baffled. Don't use volitility to fight the volitility.

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

It sounds like the person you were with would have been better off in an open relationship with someone.rather than labelling it as polyamory or want to pursue polyamory?

I've not been in a ployamerous relationship myself but I'd imagine the hardest part is the time and effort needed to maintain your relationship with each partner?

I could see 2 partners being doable but hard work, but once you go beyond that, then it must get very difficult? Especially if you don't all live together as juggling full time work around making the time and space to maintain very close personal relationships must be very hard.

And my mind boggles when you get to pplyamorpus "networks" where 2 partners may have relationships with other people rather than a shared 3rd partner. I think it would take a lot of honesty and maturity to make that work long term. I don't think I'd be capable of that.