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What are your experiences with polyamory, first or second hand? (feddit.nl)

submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by [email protected] to c/asklemmy

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I personally am in a phenomenally stable polyamorous relationship. I've been married to my wife for 12 years, and she has had the same boyfriend for about half of that time. It's a really fulfilling arrangement for all of us in various ways. We're all genuinely happy and satisfied. I'm kind of casually looking for a boyfriend of my own.

But I feel like I only hear negative stories about other poly experiences. It's always unstable people and situations. It's always two out of three people happy at most. Surely there are other success stories out there, and I just hear the disasters because they're more memorable and fun to tell. Does anyone else have or know a polyamory success story?

EDIT: This blew up a little while I was asleep. I promise I'm at least reading every comment.

EDIT 2.0: ngl I did not expect the trope of polyamory to fix a struggling relationship would be so real. We did just the opposite and are both baffled. Don't use volitility to fight the volitility.

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

We opened up an existing relationship, but it was more my idea for her to have a boyfriend. I knew she romanticized affairs and infidelity. I knew that her experience of being with a man romantically and physically is meaningfully different from how we are together. And I've just never been that sort of possessive, so I encouraged her to seek out something I couldn't give her

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

I'm really happy it's working out for you! I'm not saying that all existing partnerships opening to polyamory are doomed to fail or are inferior in any way, just that from what I've seen they're much harder to pull off, possibly because people tend to open relationships for the wrong reasons. But when it does work out and everyone involved is entirely on board and is willing to put in the work, they can absolutely be beautiful and healthy relationships.