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r***** is a slur. Have you ever said it in a positive or neutral way? You say it primarily in a negative way. People with disabilities will also understand it that way, no matter what your context.
Slurs can become slurs through lots of routes, but if people primarily use it in a certain way; and if most people understand the meaning and the hatred behind it; so do the people it's referring to. When you use a slur you lose control of the meaning. The group of people your word refers to will feel a certain way about it, and you can't control that. Which is why you should stop using it, and why a word is considered a slur.
It's an insult, that's the whole point of the word... Have you ever used "motherfucker" or "bootlicker" in a positive or neutral way?
Steve Martin once called Tom Hanks a motherfucker in a totally positive way.
Fair enough! Thank you for your response!
This is a fantastic description of what makes something a slur that I think most people will get. It helps to emphasize the loss of control. It makes why something said without malice can still be malicious.
Actually, when that word was first invented and used, it was used more in a medical way, and not in a way that was derogatory.
Society mutated its meaning into a derogatory term later on, and when that happened the medical industry changed to use other phrasing like "mentally ill", etc.
This is how ALL words work, though. That word isn't special at all in that regard. Most slurs are initially used innocently and then acquire a negative meaning based on who uses them and how they are generally perceived to be used over time.
And now people use "mentally ill" (derogatory) instead of retard. When will that become a slur?