this post was submitted on 12 Oct 2023
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Political Memes

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[–] [email protected] 108 points 1 year ago (1 children)

-The shark has every right to be there.
-I’m not going to let fear dominate my vacation.
-It’s just water bro!
-Statistically you’re more likely to get mugged by a Kansas City snail on the forth of July.
-My cousin got eaten, and he said it wasn’t even that bad.
-Why are you always bringing up sharks and never dolphins?
-I’ve looked into it, and basically a shark is a tuna with some additional details.

[–] [email protected] 69 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (6 children)

-The shark will just eat some people and then get full just as nature intended. Those people being eaten are just the natural way of dealing with sharks.

-I'm a strong swimmer so it won't eat me.

-I hear the shark swam all the way from a secret lab in China making super sharks. Somehow thinking it's been engineered to be more dangerous makes me also confident that it's harmless and no precautions need to be taken.

-If you inject hot sauce then your blood will be too spicy for the shark to eat.

-I'm still going to have my annual "throw chum in the water" swim party to show just how overblown this whole thing is.

[–] FlyingSquid 20 points 1 year ago

"If you get eaten by a shark, just pull yourself up by your bootstraps. What do you mean it ate your legs?"

[–] jaybone 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

If you drink bleach, the shark won’t eat you.

[–] Agent641 4 points 1 year ago

If you inject bleach, you are garunteed not to die from sharkbites

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

super sharks

"Deepest, bluest, my hat is like a sharks fin!" - LL Cool J from the Deep Blue Sea soundtrack

[–] Agent641 2 points 1 year ago

Damn, I forgot about that movie.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

-I won't get eaten. I'm built different.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago
  • everyone should do their own personal risk assessment of a shark attack even though we won't tell you any live data on shark prevelance in your area.

  • we have the tools to address shark attacks, but we won't give them to you or we will make them so expensive you can't afford them.

  • everyone knows shark attacks are transmitted by touch, so if you get attacked you clearly didn't wash your hands enough.

[–] Daft_ish 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Shark drawn to feeding freenzy, "Awe, let me have some"

Shark eating person who injected hotsauce into their bloodstream, "You wouldn't like it, its spicy."