this post was submitted on 14 Sep 2023
548 points (97.2% liked)

News

23648 readers
3424 users here now

Welcome to the News community!

Rules:

1. Be civil


Attack the argument, not the person. No racism/sexism/bigotry. Good faith argumentation only. This includes accusing another user of being a bot or paid actor. Trolling is uncivil and is grounds for removal and/or a community ban. Do not respond to rule-breaking content; report it and move on.


2. All posts should contain a source (url) that is as reliable and unbiased as possible and must only contain one link.


Obvious right or left wing sources will be removed at the mods discretion. We have an actively updated blocklist, which you can see here: https://lemmy.world/post/2246130 if you feel like any website is missing, contact the mods. Supporting links can be added in comments or posted seperately but not to the post body.


3. No bots, spam or self-promotion.


Only approved bots, which follow the guidelines for bots set by the instance, are allowed.


4. Post titles should be the same as the article used as source.


Posts which titles don’t match the source won’t be removed, but the autoMod will notify you, and if your title misrepresents the original article, the post will be deleted. If the site changed their headline, the bot might still contact you, just ignore it, we won’t delete your post.


5. Only recent news is allowed.


Posts must be news from the most recent 30 days.


6. All posts must be news articles.


No opinion pieces, Listicles, editorials or celebrity gossip is allowed. All posts will be judged on a case-by-case basis.


7. No duplicate posts.


If a source you used was already posted by someone else, the autoMod will leave a message. Please remove your post if the autoMod is correct. If the post that matches your post is very old, we refer you to rule 5.


8. Misinformation is prohibited.


Misinformation / propaganda is strictly prohibited. Any comment or post containing or linking to misinformation will be removed. If you feel that your post has been removed in error, credible sources must be provided.


9. No link shorteners.


The auto mod will contact you if a link shortener is detected, please delete your post if they are right.


10. Don't copy entire article in your post body


For copyright reasons, you are not allowed to copy an entire article into your post body. This is an instance wide rule, that is strictly enforced in this community.

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

Office happy hours, client dinners and other after-hours work gatherings lose their luster as more people feel the pull of home

Patience for after-hours work socializing is wearing thin.

After an initial burst of postpandemic happy hours, rubber chicken dinners and mandatory office merriment, many employees are adopting a stricter 5:01-and-I’m-done attitude to their work schedules. More U.S. workers say they’re trying to draw thicker lines between work and the rest of life, and that often means clocking out and eschewing invites to socialize with co-workers. Corporate event planners say they’re already facing pushback for fall activities and any work-related functions that take place on weekends.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] jumperalex 41 points 1 year ago (4 children)

ITT: I don't want to ever socialize with my co-workers Also: How do you make friends as an adult?

Look I'm not a huge fan of forced socialization myself. I HATE small talk. I'm looking for the door before I have the first drink in my hand at "networking events". But I also know one of the biggest opportunities I have to meet new people as an adult is at at work. So I choose the situation carefully to make sure it's one I'm comfortable with and I give it a go. I've made a few lasting friends, people I play soccer with, people I invite over my house, people who my other friends got tight with, and over all growing my social group. A number of them don't even work for the same company anymore, or in my immediate office at least.

I'm not saying to do anything you don't want to do, and forced fun can suck, but if you DO want to meet people in life and make friends, don't force-limit your opportunities to interact with new people. Pick, or even suggest!, the situation that works for you.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Unless you have a hobby where you interact with people outside of work, your co-workers are your friends that you make as an adult. Some people I'm good friends with started as co-workers because I got to know them, we move on in different directions and stay in touch.

You will only ever make friends from pooled social gatherings (whether hobby, online, etc.), the most common one available for adults with the least effort are other co-workers.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

All of my close friends were coworkers at one point. A few were friends first but most were not. It helps that my jobs have always been tech related so there’s always something to talk about. Even if it’s just commiserating on tech debt lol.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I tried making friends when my coworkers when I started my job and learned I have very little in common with any of them. It’s not like I didn’t try. Now that I know we can’t be friends, I don’t want to spend any more time with them than I have to. Is that so hard to understand?

[–] jumperalex 7 points 1 year ago

Nope, not hard to understand. But that's a different context than people's blanket, "No".

I can very much relate to being in a work environment where I there was no one I'd choose to interact with outside of professional conversation or idle water-cooler talk; if even that!

I've also been lucky enough to be in other ones where I've made great friends that I've had over for game nights, taken road trips with, invited to my house, been to their wedding (and they mine), and gone to shows with.

All I'm suggesting is to be open to it.

[–] FlyingSquid 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I admit it's hard for me to make friends, but I'm not going to force a friendship with people with whom I have very little in common aside from working in the same office.

[–] jumperalex 7 points 1 year ago

Yup, 100% with you there. I'm just saying that friendship can start with that one thing in common and grow. Or fizzle out when you quickly figure out it's the only thing in common.

As another responder said, work is potentially your largest adult social pool to source from. Don't dismiss it. But of course don't feel obligated either.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

My experience with work "friends" has always gone this way:

  1. I try to be friendly and approachable.
  2. People start asking you consistently for favors, help, and to stick up for them and their issues. I also find that the more they know about you, the easier it is to ask for shit ("hey I remember you said/are/live around/have X, so I was wondering if you could do Y for me")
  3. Once that happens it's impossible to shake them off without sounding like an asshole.

The only solution I see to this curse is to just avoid getting cornered in that situation. I avoid most socializing because of that.

Now add to this the fact I'm severely underpaid compared to the rest of the team (who do the same thing I do), that I got a promotion with no raise, and than my duties consistently increase, then it would be clear why I only do what's needed for the job.