this post was submitted on 14 Feb 2025
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There’s definitely some additional nuance (like a pronouns in bio/username situation) but this should cover the broad needs of anyone who is approaching this with good faith.

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[–] Wizard_Pope 24 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (5 children)

Well my language does not have a neutral pronoun so this just does not work.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Turkish has 1 gender neutral pronoun, the only pronoun in the whole language

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago

yes, O but if you wanna say that something belongs to someone you say onun so technically two but -un and -in are just suffixes that means that makes the word the owner of an item so it usually doesn’t count (by pronoun I mean personal pronoun btw)

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 days ago (1 children)

yeah this chart is only for english unfortunately

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 days ago (3 children)

Most languages don't have gendered pronouns, actually. It's really mostly random romance languages, and nearly all of them have a neuter option.

[–] Wizard_Pope 3 points 3 days ago (1 children)

The thing with the neuter option at least in my langauge is that it is just not used on people. It would be even ruder to refer to someone by the neuter pronoun that to use the wrong gebdered one.

Technically a neutral one is using 2nd person plural for the formal voice. But even that has to be followed by a gender specific form of a verb.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Akin to "it", I suppose.

I am a huge fan of the pronoun "one".

[–] Wizard_Pope 1 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Kinda yeah.

As in one does not simply walk into Mordor?

That kinda only works for us in second person. You just leave out the pronoun.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

"One" works first person (in place of "I"), second person (in place of "you") or third person (in place of "he/she/they"). It's ambiguous, but that's a feature of a pronoun, not a bug.

[–] Wizard_Pope 1 points 2 days ago

Yeah I am speaking for my language. The issue arises because verbs change depending on gender. So there are almost always 3 different verb forms.

[–] Ziglin 5 points 4 days ago

That nobody wants to use for me or other people >:(

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 days ago

oh i thought most languages only had gendered.

also idk about having a gender neutral option in most. afaik the creation of neutral pronouns in languages that have never had them (other than male being the neutral equivalent) is seen basically the same as neopronouns, which means its very hard for people to start using them.

for example, i'm from brazil and i have never seen anyone use neutral pronouns seriously. i wouldn't be surprised if the other languages in the same situation are going through the same thing

though i guess through jokes people might get used to them and start using them seriously, so things could become better in the future.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

Yeah, it's an English-speaking majority platform, so English chart it is. Can't remember non-English pronouns being relevant in any recent discussion. This one solves the (most) relevant problem (for most users).

That said, we have a similar problem with language limitations here and all "solutions" sound ridiculous.

[–] Demdaru 3 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Mine has! It translates to "this" and is used only as insult tho.

[–] Wizard_Pope 2 points 3 days ago

I mean we have the same being that, it, this. You just dont use those to refer to people though. It is ruder than misgendering.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 days ago (1 children)

What's your language, if it's okay to ask?

[–] Wizard_Pope 3 points 4 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (3 children)

Why would it not be ok to ask? It's slovenian.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 days ago (2 children)

I think some people might consider it too personal/identifying?

Anyway, the Slovenian pronoun system sounds fascinating. Changing how you refer to people in so many different ways is pure nonsense, but it's also poetic, especially when synthesis is involved. I'll have to study it sometime.

[–] Wizard_Pope 1 points 3 days ago

The most poetic thing about the language is the dual form anyway.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 days ago (1 children)

It's a safe question to ask, if they don't like it they won't answer. A person's language is hardly ever identifying

[–] Wizard_Pope 1 points 3 days ago

I mean with Slovenian being a rather small one it can be quite identifing yet at the same time not.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 days ago

People who live their entire lives on the internet have no idea how humans actually react to things in real life. They've been trained to assume that literally anything they do or say could be considered offensive to someone

[–] undergroundoverground 2 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

The phrase is more of an indication of a lack of hostility on their part. Even something neutral like "what country is that" could come across as a bit confrontational, in English. It would almost be like asking the question with an assumption that you can't answer because it wasn't correct when clearly it is and they would just like to find out more.

Theres a fair amount of performative politeness you have to go through to take the edges off of English. It's not just fake-ness, as it can sometimes come across to non-native speakers. As I'm sure you know already, English is the a very information efficient amalgamation of 3 different languages. For example, some people find poetry and literature far more rich and descriptive in other languages. Due to it being particularly efficient at information exchange, it can also come across very blunt too.

Just thought you deserved a proper answer, with context, as you were kind enough to give one yourself.

[–] Wizard_Pope 1 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I see. But I think this was a bit too polite. In my opinion the better way to take off the edge would be to ask and then add 'if you don't mind me asking' or If I may ask what country that is. Adding 'if it's okay to ask' seems almost like he asked me for my address or something that it's not okay to ask people about.

[–] undergroundoverground 1 points 3 days ago

That's the same thing though.