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Changing your last name when getting married is dumb and we finally have the proof of it.
I'm surprised at how controversial this is (here). My partner is not my property. I don't need to slap my name over theirs like some body of water, to make myself feel strong, masculine and secure.
If that's how you view it, then sure? But my wife was excited to take my last name. I actively told her that she could keep her name and that the change doesn't matter to me in the slightest but she still ended up taking my name. I don't think anyone is strong arming their spouse into a decision like that.
Wife wanting to take your last name =/= You taking away her last name.
You are vastly underestimating the scale of fragile masculinity (in the US at least). My partner's ex's told them how important it is to take their last name. I've heard the same thing from my sisters, and friends.
If you want some proof, just jump into any conservative instance or reddit and ask if a woman should reject changing her name.
Oh man, if there's men beating their wife don't worry, there's men forcing them to take their last name
When my wife and I were married, we wanted to create a brand new last name that both of us changed to. The legal requirements to make that happen were just crazy.
If US, what state?
North Carolina. There was a requirement to post notices in 3 major newspapers running for 4 weeks. And something about appearing before a judge who could reject the change for any reason they wanted, including reasons like "I don't like what color shirt you are wearing today". There were a lot of other requirements too, like background checks, fingerprints, character witnesses, etc.
This sounds like one of those very old requirements no one has ever bothered to remove - like once upon a time this would be a genuinely useful requirement to keep everyone in the region on the same page as to who people are, prevent county or city records from losing who you are, etc.
So, like everything else in or adjacent to family court complete with judges that are tyrannical despots over their tiny fiefdoms, who are fully allowed to apply whatever prejudices they might have unchecked for any reason or no reason at all?
More very old-school requirement to ensure you aren't trying to create a new identity to escape previous legal entanglements. Perfectly reasonable for an era before easily searchable digital records, less necessary now.
You should have gotten married in Michigan. My spouse and I could both change are names to whatever we wanted to.
Not changing your last name when getting married can be annoying too (ie. USPS forwarding mail to new address for people with the same surname as you, and the spouse with a different name has to file more paperwork to get their mail forwarded). There are a lot of things predicated on same surname in the US. It sucks.
What? Spouse and I have different last names. Mail forwarding wasn't an issue. Blended and multi-generation households are not uncommon these days.
People can't change their last name when getting married here (they need to go through the whole process like anyone else wanting to change their name if they want to do it) and it's such a non issue. Your ID has your address, show your ID proving you live at the same address and they hand you the package.
It's just a bunch of problems the US created for itself by not having any actual ID.
Not exclusive to the US. Japan also has problems with it. When both spouses are Japanese citizens, they MUST choose one of their names to use by law.
Yep but the US never adopted a national ID that makes sense and that's where it becomes an issue
I claim we can change our entire name.
Finally, those kids whose parents named them the dumbest names ever will have a way to easily fix it.
"No, now it's just Jennifer, spelled the normal way, and my mom is still ghetto but she isn't ruining my identity any more."
You can, at least in my state. Most people just change their last name. It’s not limited to gender, either. I could have changed my name to Hahaha FuckYou. My wife insisted I didn’t.