this post was submitted on 31 Jan 2025
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Speaking from experience a sharp knife will get the job done. Or a sharp punch and a hammer if you don't have the arm strength to get a knife through the sidewall.
Also, just a side note it was funny you mentioned a bent piece of metal with a hook on one side. I was on a road trip with my family as a teenager when we hit something that took out 2 of our tires, one on my aunt's car who was following us and about a dozen other cars. We were stuck so I ended up changing probably 5-6 tires for other people while we waited for a tow. While I was at it a dude pulled up and was like "Want to see what you hit?" and had almost exactly what you described in the back of his pickup. So... yea very effective lol.
How loud? The loudness to me is the biggest concern.
Depending on the tire pressure? If it's above 30, it's going to be loud enough to be heard if someone is within a hundred feet. If they're inside a building, you'd probably be mistaken for something else going on in the building. A knife into a 40 PSI tire is enough to make your ears ring for a second or two.
I think the SUVs they'd be using are going to be somewhere in the realm of 35-50. Tahoes were around 38-40 when I drove one.
Depends on a number of things like how much air pressure, how big the hole is, shape of the hole etc. I would say generally quieter than pulling the valve core.