this post was submitted on 12 Dec 2024
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[–] [email protected] 101 points 5 days ago (5 children)

In "who left their bag here"'s case, the gender of the person is not known because their identity isn't known, so it doesn't feel strange to use (for us old farts). It can take some effort to retrain your brain to use "they" when it's a single person whose identity is known (speaking from experience as a Gen Xer).

Or the person might just be a transphobic asshole. But I like to think that most just need to educate themselves on using pronouns correctly.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 5 days ago (4 children)

One thing that might help it feel less strange is realising that you already use a grammatically plural pronoun to refer to individuals all the time: the word "you". It's always "you are tall", not "you is tall", same as "we" or "they" instead of "he" or "she". This is because it was historically plural, and "thou" was the singular. Over time we started using the plural to be more polite, and then eventually always using it.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 days ago (3 children)

"Thou is tall" sounds weird though.

you already use a grammatically plural pronoun to refer to individuals all the time: the word "you". It's always "you are tall",

This made my brain short circuit lol. Can't believe I never noticed.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 days ago (1 children)

That's because "is" is the third person conjugation of Be, not the second. Of course it sounds weird.

"Thou are", and the actually correct "thou art" both feel much more natural.

[–] [email protected] -1 points 4 days ago (1 children)

But we're back to plural, they said thou is singular.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

The conjugation of Be, "is" is not used in the second person (you, be it singular or plural) any more than "am" is ("am" is first person singular form.) regardless of the plurality (or lack thereof) in the subject.

The correct Be conjugations for second person subjects are "art" (2nd, singular, archaic) and "are".

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 days ago (2 children)

So is thou/you plural or singular? I'm very confused. I'm not a grammar person lol. This conversation began because someone said thou is singular.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 days ago

Thou is singular and you is plural. Thou art. You are.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

Do you remember your conjugation tables from Spanish or French class?

English has them too, but the modern ones are much smaller than most (all?) other European languages.

Editted in:
Prn. | To be | note I am 1st person (the speaker) singular.
We are 1st person plural.
Thou art 2nd person (the one being spoken to) singular (archaic).
You are 2nd plural and singular.
(s)he /it is 3rd person (neither the speaker or spoken to) singular.
They are 3rd plural and singular

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I think because it's so small for English and because I'm a native speaker it's all just second nature and I don't really know the technicalities. Conjugating verbs in Spanish is one of my most frustrating areas of learning lol.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 days ago

Yeah, it's only really "Be" and "have" that have any conjugation variety in English, and then the old 3rd singular +s and past tense and participles.

Since most English speakers don't learn much grammar it can be tricky. A few lessons on English grammar would probably make learning a second language much easier.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Yeah but that's because you see it in archaic contexts. How do you feel about 'thou art tall'?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 days ago (1 children)

But art sounds like are. Is art singular?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 days ago (1 children)

From the dictionary: (archaic) second-person singular simple present indicative of be

So, yes?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 days ago

To convey uncertainty, because the dictionary classification of the word was a bit of a mouthful, and I was only 90% certain that I was interpreting it correctly.

[–] Dasus 2 points 4 days ago (2 children)

It's "thee is tall."

He, she, thee.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 days ago

Ahhh, that makes so much more sense.

[–] njaard 1 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

No, that's incorrect.

It's "Thou are tall" or "Thou art tall"

Nominative   Oblique  Possessive 
Thou         Thee     Thy/Thine* 
I            Me       My/Mine*
He           Him      His
She          Her      Her/Hers**
You          You      Your/Yours**

* Used as an object (It is thine) or historically, when the following word started in the vowel (Thine eyes sparkle like diamonds, Mine ears ache)

** Used as an object (it is hers)

[–] Dasus 1 points 3 days ago

Yes I too, read the Wikipedia entry for thou/thee.

Are the Outlander writers just dumb or something then? Or is what you're referring to ("thou art") just a different context.

Because in Outlander, the quakers clearly use "thee is" and not "thou art/are".

Because they use it as the second person singular.

Minor spoilers for latest season of Outlander

Thee is a wolf

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I’m joining in the “this blew my mind” sentiment and just want to say thanks for sharing this tidbit of info.

[–] Dasus 2 points 4 days ago

Thee has had thee mind blown?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 days ago

It only feels strange because of how it's been used previously in my lifetime, not from historical usage. But as you've shown, language changes over time, and not having a singular neutral pronoun has proven to be a big omission in English (since "they" has only traditionally been used that way in certain limited cases). If it was good enough for "you," it's good enough for "they!"

[–] [email protected] 17 points 5 days ago (2 children)

I mean, I'm mid 30s, and it took me a long time to internalize "he, she, they" rather than "he, she, it". It's just how they were used when I was growing up. Fortunately, I've had the opportunity to learn and grow. At the end of the day, just speak with respect and make sure you listen as much as, or more than, speak.

[–] FlyingSquid 4 points 4 days ago

I'm 47 and it just came naturally to me. 🤷

"They" made more sense to me than "it" in the first place.

Come to think of it, I still call babies "it" when I don't know the gender all the time though.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I agree. It's hard to put myself back in the old mindset (and I was definitely not supportive of this type of thing back in pre-2014) but I really do think I used to use "his or her" more often than "their", or at least in more formal settings.

I remember on Mark Rosewater's Tumblr blog he ran a Q&A (he is the lead designer of Magic: The Gathering). Someone was asking about cards using "his or her" instead of "their" because not everyone uses he/she pronouns. His response was basically that the reason they did that was because they used the Chicago style guide and it said to use "his or her" when referring to a single person of unknown gender. Basically he said that he understood players have different genders, but it was just a style thing, and that the rules even said something about "his or her" referring to the player (regardless of gender). Since then, I believe Magic cards now use "their", so it's possible Chicago's style guide changed (or at least Wizards' policy did).

[–] Skullgrid -3 points 4 days ago (2 children)

It's a stupid excuse, use a different style guide going forward that uses "their" to refer to third person.

I'm glad they changed it, I'm still burnt out of the game because of design issues (board wipes, counterspells), repetitive cards with little innovation, and shitty business practices.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 days ago

I get where you're coming from, but if you have a problem with the Chicago Manual of Style then you have a problem with me, and I suggest you let that one marinate.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 days ago

Reminder: this was over a decade ago.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 5 days ago

Yeah it can take a while to get used to, especially if you knew the person before they changed their pronouns. But the point is it isnt incompatible with our language at all. I think the last panel would be better if it showed the (transphobic) guy and another person and he says "this activist said the craziest thing to me today" and then the second person says "oh yeah, what'd THEY say" because then the 'they' pronoun would be directly referring to the person who wanted to be called 'they' in the first place.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 days ago

Oh yeah it took me a while to default to 'they' instead of 'he/she' lol
Sometimes I still mess up and assume, and sometimes I say 'they' when I don't mean to also. Brains are weird.