this post was submitted on 02 Dec 2024
58 points (90.3% liked)
Casual Conversation
1762 readers
121 users here now
Share a story, ask a question, or start a conversation about (almost) anything you desire. Maybe you'll make some friends in the process.
RULES
- Be respectful: no harassment, hate speech, bigotry, and/or trolling
- Keep the conversation nice and light hearted
- Encourage conversation in your post
- Avoid controversial topics such as politics or societal debates
- Keep it clean and SFW: No illegal content or anything gross and inappropriate
- No solicitation such as ads, promotional content, spam, surveys etc.
- Respect privacy: Don’t ask for or share any personal information
Casual conversation communities:
Related discussion-focused communities
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
As someone who’s mostly NC with a parent and considered going full NC I would hesitate listening to people who likely have little understanding of why people go NC with family.
I’ve heard many a “you can’t chose your family” from people when they have no idea what they’re speaking on. If you think the reason for going NC with someone has changed; sure consider giving him a chance. If you have a therapist or someone similar in your life ask them for their take. No judgement here for maintaining NC with someone who made you feel it was necessary to go NC at 16 though.
If you’re willing and comfortable to share why you went no contact, the context will help people give you more considered advice.
I can’t imagine the wave of feelings and memories getting that message from your father after all this time. I hope you find the right advice you need to support you through this.
That’s 100% dependent on why you went no contact in the first place. It doesn’t sound like you owe him anything, so your only question is how it relates to your own feelings.
If your ex brother in law has both your and his contact info, it sounds like he could’ve reached out indirectly at any point.
To add a bit for OP. This is 100% context dependent, I agree. My partner did this with her family and it was the correct choice imo. I have never met such a group of toxic individuals before—holy cow. To the point I felt like I was incredibly sheltered. She has some insane stories, somehow always worse than the last.
I get turning the other cheek, and looking at things from other’s perspective, but sometimes that just won’t do it. People can be truly awful and you have to take care of yourself when others don’t have the wherewithal (EQ) to understand the damage they do.