Trans men are men.
this post was submitted on 19 Nov 2024
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Men's Liberation
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- The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love by bell hooks
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"Gender isn't real" is a valid perspective, and actually, I agree that it's not based on any concrete traits. This is what people mean when they say that "gender is a social construct". There's nothing that makes my gender objectively male, other than that I believe myself to be one based on my social understanding of gender roles. You can't measure someone's gender, it's not something that you can determine from someone's personality or biology, and it's not something that's even objectively definable over time based on specific traits. It's not real, in that sense. If you're someone who believes those to be important traits for something to be real-- fair! It's not real, then. We made it up.
It's about respect, asshat. Gender is something that people value very highly, on par with religion and politics, except unlike those it's entirely harmless. Why would I go out of my way to disrespect someone? Sure, I can do anything. I'm free to be a total dick and fuck everyone over. But I also must accept the consequences of doing so. If you want to misgender everyone, good luck with that, but it's not going to end well for your social life.
I'm respected for my contributions, not for being an unpaid actor. I don't let anyone write a script for me to rehearse. If you want me to call you Mommy, you'd better be turning a dial on my tens unit.
So basically, you want to be able to act however you want with no social consequences. That is, frankly, delusional and the pinnacle of selfishness. Blocked.
You wanna give me consequences for disobeying? We're gonna fight. You're gonna lose. You think respect is for people who act like control freaks? It's not. Trying to control other people is the finest way to be hated.