this post was submitted on 30 Nov 2024
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No Stupid Questions

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I had a job. The company didn’t realize that they actually had to sell product to stay in business. Almost all of the workforce was let go or furloughed. I’ve been unemployed for over a month now.

I’ve filled out dozens upon dozens of job apps, starting even before I lost my job. I have my resume public on job listings sites for employers and hiring agencies to find, and I’ve sent my resume to employers and hiring agencies directly. I look through the listings on job boards for each day, mostly limiting my search to a wage that would allow me to make ends meet at home. I’ve solicited and implemented advice from resume design experts. I’ve had one in-person interview, a few preliminary phone interviews, and a couple of message conversations between recruiters and myself. The one in-person interview I had would not have paid enough for my monthly expenses and I was overqualified for the position; they decided against hiring me. I had another interview scheduled and confirmed via a hiring agency’s AI text bot and a human agent’s text; I drove to the scheduled interview place and time and they had no idea that I was supposed to be interviewed. All other communication has either been flat-out rejection or just left me hanging.

I have a Bachelor’s of Science degree from a top 25 ranked university in the US. I have no criminal record. I do have multiple disabilities but they are generally mitigable enough to not affect my work. I have references of my (now) former boss and a (now) former coworker who both praise my impact and aptitude in the factory and office workplace. I’m evidently overqualified for positions that don’t require higher experiences and I’m underqualified for nearly everything else; I can’t get experience in most niche or broad fields because nearly every position requires these experiences to have already been met. I try to follow all the invisible rules of applying and social etiquette. I am too physically ugly to sell my body. It feels like there’s always been a magical aura about me that makes people dislike me no matter how much I try to do the ethically or socially right thing. How am I supposed to get an income to survive?

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[–] jeffw 80 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (5 children)

It’s not what you know, it’s who you know. Network

For every 200 applications you submit, you’re putting in as much energy as you could with one quality lead where you know someone. You gotta leverage connections, do informational interviews, etc. The reality is that a lot of job postings for skilled positions are put out there because the employer has to do it. They already know who they want.

[–] [email protected] 70 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (4 children)

This right here is why i am inherently incompatible with the modern job market.

My brain is wired to solve complex abstract problems not having to deal with subjective social intrigue in which i’ll always be perceived as some weird idiot because people don't know what i am talking about half the time.

The only way someone can be convinced i am neither dumb or to disabled to work is because they objectively looked at my work ethic and results so the look on their face shifts from uncanny disturbed to uncanny impressed.

I did land a good job in a non profit sector where people around me do respect me. I am never changing. If i ever lose this job i am not sure i will ever find something else.

[–] candybrie 8 points 3 days ago

It seems like networking would be even more important for you. You'd have people who could vouch for you: "Yeah they're kind of weird in an interview, but they do amazing work."

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 days ago

I agree that some people like you may not be fit for the current way of doing things in terms of job research. But you have to remember that being socially able is also a very important part of the job at most companies, because very rare are the cases where you don't work as part of a team. I would even say communication is a bigger part of the job compared to the actual brute skill for most companies. You can always learn or perfect a new programming language or platform, it's a matter of reading. Soft skills like social abilities cant really be learned, and so this is why a lot of companies actually choose people who they think will fit in a team rather that who will close the most issues

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 days ago

You would have references from your current job, even if you're cartoonishly unlikeable. Keep light contact with people you get on with even (probably especially) after they part ways with the organization you work for. If/when you need a job, ask those people if they know any leads you might follow.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

In many ways, I feel similarly. However, "this one weird trick" got me out of it. Think of networking as something you do to find like-minded complex-abstract-problem-solvers. You're just finding friends. If one of those friends has a particularly tough problem and they're willing to pay you, then, congrats! You now have a job offer!

The algorithm is simple: ask people what they do, why they do it, and, crucially, who they know. Then contact each of those people, name-drop their friend, mention interests you might have in common, and ask to meet you talk about fun stuff. Repeat. Follow up with people to let them know you appreciated meeting with them (or not...if you didn't really appreciate meeting with them). If you get the sense that someone is looking for help and you're interested in what they're doing, offer your help. The worst thing that can happen is they say no.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 days ago (5 children)

What if you don't know anyone willing to help you get a job?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 days ago (1 children)

There are happy hours / meet n greets, networking dinners, and more, that are specifically for branching out and developing professional connection without having to know anyone.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Well that sounds perfectly horrid.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago

I would agree with this sentiment, but that doesn't make this advice less valuable. If we want things to change, we have to be willing to change ourselves. Advice on how to make those changes is bound to make us uncomfortable.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 days ago

They're fine. In fact, out of all the possible professional-life-based events, they're probably the least anxiety inducing thing to attend.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 days ago

There is still a chance, but it’s just much more of a crapshoot. I have been offered jobs where I didn’t know anyone, but those have been rare compared to other offers. Jobs where I knew someone at least tended to lead to serious interviews.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 days ago

What if you don't know anyone willing to help you get a job?

Ask them for who they know. Heck, even if they are willing to help you, still ask them for more contacts.

It legit took me over a decade of work experience to finally realize that "networking" was really just a simple graph-traversal algorithm for finding friends. If those friends need help with something that pays, then offer your help.

[–] jeffw 1 points 3 days ago

Network more until you meet someone who has an opening

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 days ago

If all else fails it's burger flipping time.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 days ago

There are usually many layers before your application actually gets to someone who understands the job and can actually evaluate how valuable you are to the role. There are an insane number of applications that are just gone before someone useful can actually read it.

I know personally I would never have gotten my last 3 jobs were it not for networking and knowing people.

Networking really is the way forward. I understand for some people that socialising is insanely difficult, but knowing the right people can get you jobs that you aren't even qualified for.

[–] QuarterSwede 0 points 3 days ago (1 children)

And if you don’t know people then call them or show up if possible. Just get ahold of even the receptionist. Taking initiative is a skill and it NEVER looks bad. I hired a guy I wasn’t looking to hire because he walked in, said he needed a job, and why he wanted to work for us. He didn’t waste my time, was succinct and had a great personality and attitude. As a hiring manager of over a decade those are hard skills to find. I set an interview time for him to come back the next day and he showed up 15min early (good) and blew me away in the interview just being honest and having a good attitude.

There are 2 skills most people suck at:

  1. Reliability
  2. Good attitude

You hate being late and have reliable transportation (this matters in the US). You’re a life learner and want to grow and develop your skills.

These are dealbreakers for me: 3) Team Player. In many positions, if you like working mostly solo, no one wants to manage that. Being a team player that doesn’t mind helping others and/or asking others for help when needed is essential to a team’s success. 4) Take personal accountability for your actions. If you can’t do this you are poison to a team. I’ve let go technically great people because something that went wrong was always someone else’s fault. Once they’re gone the team thrives and outperforms the technical excellence of one.

[–] jeffw 1 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Just calling up a company isn’t networking

[–] QuarterSwede 1 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Hence the “And” at the beginning of what I was saying.

Networking isn’t the only way to get a job. Helps, yes, but if you aren’t in a position to have that luxury there are other ways.

[–] Zoldyck -4 points 3 days ago