this post was submitted on 14 Nov 2024
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The Onion buys rightwing conspiracy theory site Infowars with plans to make it ‘very funny, very stupid’ (www.theguardian.com)
submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/technology
190 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

Here’s Why I Decided To Buy ‘InfoWars’ By Bryce P. Tetraeder, Global Tetrahedron CEO ☞ https://theonion.com/heres-why-i-decided-to-buy-infowars/

And let me say, I really do see it as a family. Much like family members, our brands are abstract nodes of wealth, interchangeable assets for their patriarch to absorb and discard according to the opaque whims of the market. And just like family members, our brands regard one another with mutual suspicion and malice.

🤣

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[–] latenightnoir 253 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Honestly, considering how much of a clown Alex Jones was, they have their work cut out for them if they want to compete at comedic levels!

Either way, this may be the best news I've heard all year, thank you!

[–] [email protected] 126 points 1 month ago (3 children)

I wonder if this gives them the rights to all of Infowars' library of footage. Maybe they could "keep" Jones as a host by cutting up old clips kinda how South Park did with Isaac Hayes for Chef's last episode.

[–] Joeffect 70 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Up for grabs at the auction were Infowars production rights and materials, the Infowars store, domain names, production equipment and other assets — including a Terradyne armored truck and a Winnebago motor home — that can be purchased in their entirety or in parts, according to the firm, ThreeSixty Asset Advisors. Jones broadcasts from the Austin, Texas, area.

[–] tanisnikana 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I’ll take the middle third of the Winnebago, just carve it out and drop it on Nick Fuentes’ lawn, thanks.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

The “shitter’s full” third I hope.

[–] FlyingSquid 6 points 1 month ago

Considering what The Onion has been able to do with manipulating video for the sake of comedy, I can't wait to see what they do with any of their footage.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

I hope they own Jones' likeness to the point where they can give DJs the rights to remix his shouts into something of value.

[–] Omgpwnies 19 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Train an AI model to produce new shows with him as the host

[–] theangryseal 15 points 1 month ago

This just in! I’m turning my frickin’ self gay! I’m selling the supplements that will get you there too! The deep state wants to control us! NO MORE! You’re not gonna get my frickin’ dna to fight in your wars! You’re not gonna push us around!

eats handful of supplements

These Pro-homoerotics are literally the best on the market. I just now took them and I already want to tear my clothes off and throw the cameraman on this table!

Help support InfoWars and fight the deep state! I can’t do this without you guys and now I want to do you guys!

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago

One of the few good uses for generative AI I've seen.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago

They don't want you to know this, but the ducks at the park are free!