this post was submitted on 25 Sep 2024
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Science Memes

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It's Wednesday, my dudes. (mander.xyz)
submitted 2 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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[–] [email protected] 30 points 2 months ago (4 children)

Wolf spiders don't build webs though.

[–] [email protected] 47 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

No, they hide instead.

In small corners, like a small hole in the stonewall next to your wall attached reading lamp.

So then when you're finally asleep you hear like this scratch noise. So you turn on your lamp and you see that it's little bit of wall dust coming off it.

And at first you're like huh so you look a little closer and you see that it's coming from that little hole in the wall.

AND THEN SOME LEGS JUMP OUT OF THERE.

Before you know it you stand at the furthest other corner of the room.

A full spider has pulled itself from the hole, and it stares at you, menacingly.

You can barely breathe, but deep down you know that the creature can't help it. It is not a monster, and neither are you.

You were taught the most sensible thing is to put such insects outside. So you sneak downstairs trying to find a glass and piece of paper to capture it in.

So then you, a brave knight, armed with a glass faces the beast.

And as you hold your arm in the vicinity of its claws. You realize:

The size of this beast is far bigger than the diameter of the opening of this glass.

You run to the hallway you are truly losing it. But then you hear another sound.

Your dad appears from nowhere, and he asks what are my troubles.

SO I SHOW MY HERO TO THE BEAST

AND HE FUCKING LEGS IT. EVEN MORE A COWARD THAN YOU. Goes to bed and leaves you to it remarking its large size.

That is what wolfspiders do. They don't just destroy your confidence, they show that you came from nothing and will remain it till the day you become food.

That is what wolfspiders do.

Also they can jump 2m straight, thankgod i only found out as it jumped from glass 2# into the darkness of the garden as ~~i~~ you realize they could have jumped into your face at any point of time back in the room. You were never safe.

That is what Wolfspiders do.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

This sounds like Ze Frank on cocaine.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

I worked at a summer camp with a wolf spider as roommate in my cabin. I told him she could stay as long as she didn't bite the kids. All other counselors complained about mice in their cabins but were surprised I didn't have any.

Fast forward to the last week of camp. Stupid loudmouth kid sees the spider and hits it with a broom. Kids all scream and I run back inside. Asshole kid is trying to squish her and I stop him and get her outside. I scold the kid and he is unrepentant. Last morning in camp he wakes up with a swolen lip that is rapidly taking over his face. He isn't having an allergic reaction but his whole face looks like sloth from the goonies. As I put him on the bus to go home he is crying because his mom won't recognize him. "Well, maybe next time leave the spider alone"

[–] doingthestuff 11 points 2 months ago

I came here to make sure someone had said this. I usually have a wolf spiderbro in my bathroom. I talked to one this morning in fact, he was a new, smaller one though. They're great. Eat bugs, no webs. Not significantly dangerous at all.

[–] SpruceBringsteen 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

They'd like to

[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 months ago

Wolf spiders don't have web money, mostly because orb-weaver spiders control the market through abusive speculative tactics and they've been doing that since the cretaceous!

[–] BleakBluets 7 points 2 months ago

Building webs is for suckas