this post was submitted on 23 Aug 2024
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I'm regularly surprised by how many people manage to shit themselves, and how it's common enough that people have a casual laugh over their "shat myself" stories. I feel left out. I laughed so hard I peed myself once when I was 5?
I have IBS, and while I've had many close calls I can proudly say that I've never shit myself. As someone that's basically a flight risk for accidental pooping, as well as having heard these stories before in-person, I often wonder if more people have stomach/bowel problems than they'd like to let on.
you've jynxed yourself and i kind of hope you shit yourself now just so i can say "shouldn't have shitposted about it" in response.
this might be my most elaborate shitpost yet.
i left work right after clocking in because a fart felt like pushing out more than just air. so embarassing
I sneezed and shat myself the other month, maybe you're young or maybe you've got a good bowel sytem.
I coughed, burped, and sharted simultaneously a while back. It was disorienting and I felt violated
If you time it right you can hit the ceiling with those
That's how we deal with the trauma.
Never trust a fart.
So say keto dieters
Clearly you're all blocked up. You should eat more fiber.
OP has a gaping asshole.
Drink way too much cheap liquor and you too can have the opportunity to shit yourself the next day.