this post was submitted on 08 Jul 2024
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I don't want a president beholden to Big Peanut.
You see, unlike his predecessor he did divest himself of his personal businesses before taking office.
Habitat for Humanity is the real deep state
Why do their houses have so few and such small windows? They're stockpiling the glass to build a huge lens that will focus the sun's rays to destroy the moon. The resulting storm of superheated asteroids pelting the Earth will destroy many homes, allowing them to swoop in and build new ones for everyone.
You heard it here first.
I did hear it here first, you are absolutely correct about that part.
It's hilarious that he sold his peanut farm so people wouldn't worry he was self dealing as President. Which is funny because HW Bush just changed the laws so he COULD self deal without divesting in actual wealth.
Peanuts? Aren't they related to ACORN?
When I was a child my parents called me Acorn. They even named their dry cleaner after me.
Everyone else get the fuck away from me, this is the best joke I can stand to hear all day.
In my experience there just isn’t that much variation in peanut sizes tbh