Ask Lemmy
A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions
Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try [email protected] or [email protected]
Rules: (interactive)
1) Be nice and; have fun
Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them
2) All posts must end with a '?'
This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?
3) No spam
Please do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.
4) NSFW is okay, within reason
Just remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either [email protected] or [email protected].
NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].
5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions.
If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email [email protected]. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.
Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.
Partnered Communities:
Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu
view the rest of the comments
You might have no idea, but since you bring it up I might as well ask - any way of reversing this once it's happened? Recently my stress levels have been so heightened that that switch has flipped on some of the things (and people) that gave me most comfort and instead now they just cause me rage, and I'm struggling to find a way back (am autistic too which I understand can make this even harder)..
Wow, I wasn't really expecting a reply, never mind something this through!
It's past 2am here, so my brain can't take it all in right now, so I'll give it a proper read tomorrow when I can better process it and reply accordingly, but I just wanted to say I really appreciate your effort, thank you!
Ok, I've had a proper read through now, I'll admit there is a lot to process, but this a lot of sense (and some bits I was already doing without even realising, like trying to get space away from triggers).
I think my situation is tricky because the main person triggering me is my nibling, whose family I live with (I've been here since they were born and I'm often left to care for them during the day. Cuddling and playing and just spending hours on the couch watching cartoons with them used to be my escape, but for the past couple of months external stress has gotten worse, and after they "pushed me" on a really bad day and that brain switch has flipped, every time they want to be around me I feel like they're "pushing me" and fight/flight which is the constant state of my autistic brain anyway, ramps up even more), so I can't get away from them for any decent length of time, and they're just a kid and it's difficult to explain my growing boundaries (every time one gets crossed, by "hostile" or "friendly", rationally I can tell the difference but irrationally they both have the same impact - a stricter boundary can't help but pop up in its place, in self defence) and why I need them to stay away from me (or, if they keep "pushing", why I'm suddenly horrible to them even though they don't deserve it).
I don't want to push them away, I rationally know they mean no harm and just want to give and be given love, but I also just need my boundaries respected.
The one thing I have avoided doing is reminiscing about good times because it makes me too upset that I've gone from that to this and I spiral in to a really dark place, but I do see how it might help, so I'm going to try my best to try it. I think some of the other advice is a little tricky for someone with sensory processing difficulties though).
Anyway, I won't ramble any longer, thank you again, I've not actually talked about this to anyone else, and I feel like this exchange is a good first step to at least try and fix things.
I do wish I could find a descent therapist though... -_-