this post was submitted on 06 Jun 2024
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sphincter? i never even met her (fedia.io)
submitted 5 months ago by [email protected] to c/memes
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[–] Tylerdurdon 58 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (11 children)

There's a method, gents. Push the gooch a few times while using your "stop peeing" muscle. Then, pinch the shaft, applying pressure from the underside. Starting from the base, bring your fingers forward up the shaft towards the tip until you get those last few drops. It's clumsy at first, but you build a routine and the drip drip is a thing of the past.

Women who try this: you're just going to end up with your fingers in your vajayjay, not that I discourage that.

[–] ummthatguy 41 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

There's a faux Christian saying: "If you shake it more that three times, that's masturbation."

[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 months ago (1 children)

What if I can bust without touching it? Does God just congratulate me for the skill?

[–] wreckedcarzz 5 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Had that happen once (I'm a very needy guy, mmmk?). But I'm satanic so I'll let you know when I pick up my penthouse suite from the man himself. Probably throw you a party and bring a dozen guys in to blow you proper until you faint, I guess. No basic-bitch 'congratulations' here. We go all out.

[–] flicker 3 points 5 months ago

Something about this comment and the way it was written has given me the vague feeling of a deep and interesting story in which you're playing a part. There's an air of mystery to it but a promise of a good time. 10/10 comment.

[–] Iheartcheese 19 points 5 months ago

Tldr Jack it.

[–] HonoraryMancunian 7 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Do you mean gooch? Chode is a penis that is girthier than it is long

[–] Tylerdurdon 2 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

I guess I've been using that term wrong for a very long term or the definition changed a while back. I consulted the urban dictionary which heartily agrees with you.

Actually, scrolling to page two in the urban dictionary does highlight the contention on the definition, so I don't feel too bad.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago

There are far more effective techniques out there. Please see this research paper by a top-tier scientist:

https://garry.net/posts/piss-shake

Or it might instead be a blog post by a video game developer, I don't really understand the difference.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago

I feel that pulling your balls forward and applying some pressure behind them, kind of improves this milking technique but basically, anything that gets more pee out after youre finished is good.

I also suspect that this is not the same between each time and can vary depending on many things

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

Sounds kinda painful

[–] CoffeeJunkie 3 points 5 months ago

That's right, all men need to know about pressing the button. 🙌🏻

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I have seen people explain it but I still can't visualise this. Can you explain in more detail? For science. (But unironically)

[–] Ifera 4 points 5 months ago (1 children)

"To empty this residual urine, the reported most effective method is called “urethral milking”. To do this, take your index finger and place it in the area between your scrotum and your rectum. Apply gently pressure and move your finger forward, up over the scrotum, and to the base of your penis, effectively draining any liquid that remains. Do this 3 times and then ‘milk’ your penis, gently squeezing from the base to the tip." - https://menshealth.com.au/how-to-stop-pee-drips/

Personally, I only do it once and it has worked wonders. Lmk if you need a visual aid(Unironically, that method fucking changed my life and I think it is so great that dads should be passing it on to their sons).

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Yeah, I will have to look up a visual guide for that. I can't make this shit work. Thank you for sharing.

[–] Ifera 1 points 5 months ago

Alright, I'll DM you after work.

[–] CrowAirbrush 2 points 5 months ago

Milk it, like the cow that you are😅

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Every so often I think about the fact that there are actually real people with real chodes and it legitimately makes me kind of sad