Unpopular Opinion

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I don't want to form parasocial relationships with people I fap to (sh.itjust.works)

submitted 6 months ago by [email protected] to c/unpopularopinion

33 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Parasocial relationships refer to one-sided relationships in which a person develops a strong sense of connection, intimacy, or familiarity with someone they don’t know, most often celebrities or media personalities. These relationships exist only in the mind of the individual, who experiences a bond despite the lack of reciprocity.

Forming parasocial relationships is fine.

Fapping (masturbating) to nsfw content is fine (unless it is illegal or unethical).

But forming a parasocial relationship with someone you fap to feels like cheating if you are in a relationship and a poor substitute for a relationship if you are single.

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[–] neatchee 8 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Hmmm. I want to push back on this a bit....

We can all recognize deeply, egregiously unhealthy parasocial relationships, so I'm not going to bother talking about those.

But there are plenty of what I would call parasocial relationships the track back quite a long time in human history that I think are completely normal.

Take, for example, the famous athlete. If you find a particular athlete to be your favorite, and you watch their interviews whenever they're available, and you get excited when they get paid a bunch of money in a trade, that's a low-key parasocial relationship. Maybe you even send them regular fan mail, cheering them on when they do well or consoling them when they do poorly. You are invested in their life without reciprocity, and find joy and value in simply observing their existence.

There are lots of actors and actress that we love to love, where many people have formed a parasocial relationship: Tom Hanks and Keanu Reeves are two that come to mind.

These are situations that go beyond "yeah I'm a fan" and into feeling some level of investment in their success. It doesn't have to be extreme.

I think, as with many things, there are healthy ways to engage in parasocial relationships in moderation. It becomes a problem when it becomes detrimental to your daily life, especially if it begins to replace other forms of human interaction. If it's just a thing you enjoy on top of other, more typical relationships, them IMO there's nothing wrong with that.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 6 months ago (1 children)

IMO there's nothing wrong with that.

I agree. My original point was that it's okay to have a relationship like that, but it's not okay to sexualise it.

[–] neatchee 2 points 6 months ago

Sorry, this was pushing back on the person I replied to, not you. I generally agree with your take