/c/Vent: Vent about your life here

I understand in person/public when people say "How are you?" they aren't seriously asking, well...I don't understand but I know it is a thing. However, in a online social group when they are having a "mental health check in" are you only allowed to say "fine" and move on?

I mean I am not going to unload but there is a lot bad right now, there is no silver lining for me right now, am I suppose to just act like all is good? I am not that good at lying and some of these people have known me a long time.

Am I too far off base to think the idea of a mental health check in is to talk with everyone else, share, commiserate, and find some relief in opening up?

Deep Breath, and done.

cross-posted from: https://sopuli.xyz/post/4578562

My grandmother's sister went into the wheat drying room after hearing noises, assuming one of the kids had gotten in. Once inside, she heard a noise coming from a closet. Upon opening it, she discovered a man pointing a gun at her. The man panicked and shot at her head. He then grabbed her phone and started running out. Just then, everyone came out of their rooms, causing a lot of panic. As he ran towards the door within the chaos, my uncle and I grabbed our guns to chase him. He noticed this and yanked my 7-year-old cousin by the wrist, then jumped over the wall with the kid and escaped into the fields. We couldn't find him.

A few hours later, a ransom call demanded 10 million and insisted not to involve the cops. The father of the kid told him it was impossible to gather 10 million in a hurry. Later, he called the cops. The next morning, the guy called again, agreeing to 4 million and arranging a spot for the exchange. He told the father to come alone.

The next night, they managed to gather around 500,000 and went to the spot, the father and uncle, with the cops following and cutting off access to areas. There, the guy took the money and pointed to a figure in the dark, claiming that was the child, and then rode off.

Luckily, it was indeed the kid. Three hours later, we received a call from the cops that they had caught the guy. I forgot to mention that the cops were this efficient because the family knew all the political leaders of the area and had some ministers in their pockets.

We went to the station to check on the situation, and they had beaten the guy up pretty badly. It turns out we knew the guy; he happened to be the son of the land caretaker and had been the family's driver for a few years. His original intention was to steal some stuff from the house, but once he got caught, he improvised. His motivation was the fact that the family of the woman he wanted to marry asked for a 400,000 dowry, and he couldn't afford that.

I know it's not normal. It's something that needs therapy that I can't afford or get to fix. Most people don't sit there when there's a quiet moment thinking about how horrible of a person they are, pulling examples from throughout their life to reinforce just how much worse they've made the lives of everyone around them. I know it's not normal to need constant noise to try and keep your brain distracted enough to quiet those thoughts as much as possible. But I just wonder, what must that be like? What's it like to be normal where you can just enjoy a little peace in the silence without going through your biggest hits: regrets edition?

I know part of it's just being born broken because I was doing this shit when I was a little, little kid. But these days, I can't even blame bad luck when the reason there are so many examples at the ready is because of my history of terrible decisions and bad behavior. I had opportunities many beg for handed to me, and I squandered, wasted, or rudely refused every one of them until I got where I am now.

Every problem I face today is one of my own making. Every time I vent about it I'm reminded of that as people will come in and tell me how they were, "Just like you once, but I fixed myself up and got out of that, so you can too." But I can't. It's doable. Just not by me.

So instead, I sit here, day after day, just trying to make enough noise to drown out the regrets. But sometimes there isn't enough noise, it all boils up, and I'm left stewing in my regrets until it all runs dry and the process starts all over again.

i don't need to list them out, anyone here knows what i mean

i mean -- just a specific example - this post. i'm going thru it rn, and it's so nice that on lemmy i can be in my feels, type this, post, and hopefully people see it. but if i try to post this on reddit, it'll get removed from place after place, even shit like /r/depression has fucking automod horseshit making it a goddamn tribulation to post a post!

but that's very granular. the internet is dying -- no, actively being killed by venture capitalist scum. the planet is dying. democrats are running 90 yo joe brandon again, there is no meaningful progressive pushback anywhere because that's how the system is designed to work. voting or calling reps is akin to writing a letter to santa. actual protest meets militarized police.

fun living through the end times.

My family member uses this phrase at least once every interaction and it drives me absolutely nuts. I know it was probably never corrected when she was younger, but my God, it just makes her lose any credibility with me. That, and “irregardless,” “could care less,” and “take it for granite.”

I made a post in the general discussion channel about my neighbor's dogs barking all night, and instead of just allowing the fucking thread to continue as a general discussion, it's locked by a moderator and told the post here. Y'all literally turn into this place into Reddit.

If it was posted to a political thread, sure, but it's literally fucking called general discussion. The best part about leaving Reddit were the moderators who just had to have control of something in their lives, and here we are again.

Would it have broken Lemmy to leave the fucking post up?

So, Apple is blowing it's horn now on being a $3 Trillion valued company. Like, yay I suppose...

But then I see why and with my own eyes, where I work, their accessories are ridiculously expensive. A simple little phone stand, was $35. But because it was Apple, it's priced that highly.

A simple clear and plastic looking case from Apple, is $40. With those prices, you could actually buy a budget phone (if you're okay without the features of an average smartphone).

Fully functioning phone vs a stupidly common phone case for Apple phones. That's absurd.

I know it's Facebook's shitty algorithm but I'm tired of seeing these reels and short videos, of all of these bimbofied women! They're unattractive, I don't like things like asses and breasts being too gigantic. It's ugly to me and I'm sick of seeing it.

What do u mean we haven't reached our quota? You literally requested them for a more time consuming difficult tasks but the timeframe remains the same as before. Fuck you and fuck this life. Life is a scam, thats what they should teach in school. They should teach us from the get go that life is shit are that we are born to get fucked over till our dying breath.

I find this the most frustrating part of federation. So many more communities to block when so many instances can have the same sorts of community

We've been together for 3 years. To give some context, I'm currently in extreme financial struggles that I realistically can't hold a relationship of this type anymore.

We live in different cities. 6-hrs drive apart. Basically she only likes me for money, and sadly I wouldn't have a problem with that if she reciprocated the giving and care back. It's not a sugar-daddy relationship and was never meant to be. We're the same age and supposed to care about each other in every way and not like this.
It sucks when someone only values you as an ATM and ignores every side of your personality and every other kind of support you can provide: Self improvement, self worth, self image and value, health care, emotional, future planning, respect, protection, and all the worrying and care which I give to her more than I do for myself. I emptied my bank account for her and she still wouldn't care for me because it's not enough. Constant gifts for her, her friends, her family, rent, hospital bills, all sort of bills, fancy restaurants, flight ticket and hotel bookings (for her only not both of us), resorts, medical therapy, ... I gave her everything she wished for that I could afford. I let her have the nice things while I still live poorly and have bad ones. All I asked for return is care and time of her day. I'm not talking every day, No; She wouldn't even see me for few hours every month. The last month was the breaking point for me, I spent over $10K on various things for her, and then we decided that I would come to sit with her and she replied with "I can only stay with for 3 hours, then I have to do other things and meet other people." So I asked her to choose a date when she is not very busy and can see me for few more hours at least, and she still wouldn't do that. So I said, "ok no hard feelings, but I'm canceling my trip and all the gifts I was going to bring with me. Maybe we can sort another day in the future." After that she got angry and cussed at me and said to never see, text or call her again in life.

From my perspective: I do not want to waste so many hours and money to see her for 3 hours. I feel bad about myself and I don't feel desired or cared about. I started to hate this shit of relationship we have where I constantly give my all and everything to someone who doesn't give back anything.

From her perspective: I'm not good enough and I don't care about her.

In the end, I tried my best and didn't mistreat her once. I really wish her the best but would not want to apologize and restart things with her again.

Thank you for the vent and please feel free to share your opinions. I will respect them and try to understand them regardless.

... it looks like ended up breaking my PC on the move somehow... I even went ahead and removed the GPU to prevent it from breaking but it looks like that's actually what ended up being broken 🙃 (I have 4 debug LEDs. When I turn it on it goes from CPU to DRAM to VGA and gets stuck there). I'll have to see if I can get it to work somehow after I get home later, but I'm afraid I was unlucky enough to actually have killed my GPU with static electricity. And of course it had to be the most expensive part....

I just went to go to bed and there was a god damn big ass cellar spider waiting for me above my pillow. Too rattled to sleep now.

Thanks eight legged motherfucker. Thank you from the bottom of my adrenal glands.

Dear god, this experience with them has been horrible.

I lent some money to a friend via it because they use it. I just wanted them to pay me back via PayPal. The friend forgot and sent the repayment via CashApp so I returned it as CashApp can't Cashout to any of the institutions I bank with. Instead of using my CashApp balance, it decided to charge my debit card for that transaction. No problem, I thought, this is something I've had happen elsewhere and is easily fixed with a phone call.

Checking in the app, they only have Chat listed. I tried the chat and it's either a damn Chat Bot, or their employees are stuck using stock replies and can't reply anything custom. I eventually found their phone number in their Terms of Service which the only option was a callback which took over 2 hours. Once I did get the callback it was very obviously someone overseas who did not understand the situation and was of no help. I ended up hanging up on them.

In the end, I've ended up sending them a "Pre-Filing Requirement to Attempt to Resolve Disputes" as required in their Terms of Service. Thankfully, I do shipping as part of my employment so this costed me nothing to ship a letter overnight with signature required. However, I'm sure I'll have to deal with a lot of bureaucracy now from their legal department's arbitration division.

Not once in my nearly 20 years of banking have I dealt with such a shitty financial company. With my credit union, while they can be a bit slow they've never given me issues trying to fix something. With PayPal, I've never had an overseas rep during a phone call and was able to get someone on the line during the same call (within business hours). Heck, even PNC was clunky to use, but it at least worked. CashApp obviously is doing the bare minimum and I hope they go out of business.

TLDR: Replicated a Reddit sub, banned from four communities.

I’m about to gooooooo off!!! So I love Reddit. I love it. I have adhd and depression, name a better candidate to love their dumpster fire. I’m also all for this blackout. But that means I’m losing my favorite sub, so I thought. So I got proactive and built it here on the Fediverse. Big mistake. I get it made and then reach out to the mods on Discord in private via a ticket because I’m not using Reddit right now. They got pissed and told me to take it down, well it’s the internet so no. I leave it at that and move on. Well fast forward a few hours and this power hungry mod banned me from the Discord, and then proceeds to permanently banned me not only from the sub I had replicated but two other subs not even part of it. Reddits response you ask? “Oh yes this is totally fine and they’re allowed to power trip.” I have screenshots of it all but I’ll provide the one so you can see I didn’t start it off wrong nor end it rude when I made my proposal. I’m so fucking pissed. Fuck Reddit.