Just Post

(the verses should read kinda like "short skirt/ long jacket")

Have you heard of a vore fetish

That's the one where you wanna get ate

Wanna be an ingredient on binging with babish

Wanna turn into a soup that is great

//

Other girls choose the bear for safety

You choose the bear for other reasons

Other girls wanna dress with the times

You wanna be the dressing and all of the seasons

//

I can't believe it

No not again

Just trying to date

Can't tell my friends

//

Have you ever heard of the sadists

All they want is to give you pain

They might say they feel bad about it

But then they say it's hard to explain

//

She says she gonna tear me down

I said not if I build you up first

But maybe I should get the hell out of town

Because I'm not gonna be Dahmer's dessert

//

I can't believe it

No not again

Just trying to date

Can't tell my friends

//

Have you heard of the bug catcher fetish

That's the one where they wanna get sick

Have you ever heard of the joe fetish

It's the one where Joe Mama's on my dick

//

Have you heard of the disaster artist

Pretty sure he's DB cooper in disguise

Have you ever heard of the country of Finland

It doesn't exist don't believe the lies

//

There are men living in my guitar strings

In my lightbulbs is a little gnome

They all like to tell me to burn things

Leave the gas stove on at home

//

I can't believe it

No not again

Just trying to date

Can't tell my friends

Anyway yea that date had more red flags than the Soviet Union

This is a collection of the wisdom posted on the internet by a guy calling himself Gecko45. It all started back at the end of the halcyon summer of 2001, and his posts have created a certain urban legend that many refer to as the Mall Ninja. Hang out at any gun shop, gun show or shooting match and you’ll see one of these guys; you might even see a group of them since they are known to associate in the wild.

The Mall Ninja is easily distinguished by an abundance of “tactical” gear, such as fatigues, a thigh holster (with, of course, a Glock), combat boots, bandolier and other accouterments that you’d usually only see on a SWAT operative. Median age is usually 19-25, and they tend to boast about their various exploits with certain Special Forces units, all of which they’re too young and idiotic to have joined (real Special Forces types don’t brag). They typically have opinions on everything, regardless of expertise, they are uniformly poor shots, and they tend to exhibit a frightening lack of safety training.

The shadowy and shrill figure known as Gecko45 is the holy Dalai Lama of these dolts, but trust me, there are more. Many, many more.

It's nothing super interesting. I'm just fasting for 5 days. My bowels aren't backed up. There simply isn't anything left in there.

Remember back in 1999, when you saw The Matrix, and it was all cool, and you were stoned like "DUUUUDE, WHAT IF WE'RE IN THE MATRIX RIGHT NOW??? HOW WOULD WE KNOW??? WHOOOAAAA!!!!"

And then 25 years passed, and you're too busy talking about......

gestures wildly to everything

......all this?

Yeah. Still in the matrix. Life doesn't make sense, unless you realize this is all one user fucking around with the code.

First he removes all the payphones. Then he just asks the question "I wonder how we can make things even dumber....", and finally he increases the absurdity to max levels because it makes him laugh at the suffering.

Oh my god, I know who's running the simulation......

"Hey there, it's Josh. We're checking out The Matrix today! I heard this Earth place has some really stupid AI, so it's time for NEW GAME!!!

Talent skipped a generation, what can I say? It's still cool to have as a family tradition.

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/22125217

Edit: I swallowed my pride and posted. Thanks for all the encouragement!

I am emigrating from the U.S. to the UK, where I have citizenship, because my daughter is queer and I don’t think she is safe under Trump. She won’t be totally safe in the UK either, I understand that, but it’s as safe as I can get her right now.

I want to get her out before inauguration day. My wife can leave later because she will need to both get our affairs back in the U.S. in order, but also find a job that will get her a work visa (this won't be that hard, she has a ton of managerial experience and two masters degrees).

My issue is that I really want to have a job lined up before I get there. We'll have some padding for a month or so, especially after I sell my car, and friends and relatives offering to help, but I would feel far more comfortable if I had a job lined up before I left.

So this brings me to Reddit and this subreddit in particular: https://www.reddit.com/r/UKJobs/

I haven't posted on Reddit since I quit not long after the blackout. I hate it so much that this is my current profile:

So do I swallow my pride and go back? I'm going to hate myself but I am so worried and I need to keep her safe. I'm kind of at a crossroads here.

Maybe the 'go back and do it' is the obvious answer, but I need either reassurance or warnings from my fellow Lemmings before I do it because I'm really frozen at this point. I feel so silly asking this of all of you, but I don't know who else to talk to about this because really, only people here in any large group will understand what I'm dealing with emotionally and psychologically.

Also, if you know anyone in the UK who needs a video editor, audio editor, sound designer, videographer, photographer and someone who has a lot of other entertainment experience with a prestigious list of clients, please don't hesitate to let me know your email address in a PM and I'll send you my CV.

Thanks.

I wanted to show all these indie sites so that you guys could explore. These have really good ideas and aren't hindered by concision.

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O

This is a really good read. If you have any crits let me know.

Told a new doctor about me coughing in bed most nights. They had me tested for asthma and it turns out I have had a minor form most of my life. It hit me like a truck when the inhaler they gave me during the test wore off, but It’s greatly improved my life just knowing and they haven’t even given me any form of inhaler yet. I sleep so much better with the minor things I can do at home for it. I’ll give a few links below for DIY situations like I’m currently in. Life gets better in small percentages it turns out.

Webmd suggestions

Vapor rub = Can make things worse for some asthma cases, be very cautious, but for me some around my nose has improved my sleep by a lot.

"Heeeeey, so listen. Last night, when we had sex, and I started screaming bloody murder, began clutching the sheets, crying, and trying to violently kick you away? That's because you put it in the wrong hole!"

"Oh. I thought my penis was just big enough that you started flailing around and kicking. You were screaming take it out, it hurts, take it out, it's too big. So naturally I assumed that I am the ultimate man."

"No, in fact you made my anus bleed. You literally ripped the skin on my inside."

"Aw geez, oh man! That's awful......but you know what that means, right?"

"That tampons will now go in 2 holes?"

"No. It means tonight when we try that, I'll use lube, but I also won't have to wear a condom."

"We're not trying that ever again........except on your birthday."

Also, from the lyrics: "Team by team, reporters baffled trump"

We visited my 83-year-old mom yesterday and let her know that we were going to use my dual citizenship to get to the UK to protect my queer daughter if Trump wins. She didn't like the idea but didn't say much. Then a short time ago I got this email.

Dear [MY NAME]

I know you are very worried about [DAUGHTER]'s safety if Trump wins. Here is what I want to say:

You have lived in a very privileged, unusual time with more stability than usual. People in the US and elsewhere have been able to say publicly who and what they are.

That was not true for much of history and for at least half of my life.

What did people do before?

They hid who they were, with few exceptions.

We are in a time of transition, and there may be no safe place in the world.

Certainly not England or Europe (both are becoming more fascist).

The best way to protect [DAUGHTER] is to teach her she may have to choose how public or private she is in the near future.

Up until now, you have helped her be public about who she is.

That privilege may be over.

And it may have given her a false impression.

If Trump wins, all of us are going to have to decide between resistance and safety.

To be safe, just obey the (new) rules.

Being hysterical just draws attention--the worst thing in a dictatorship.

Hiding can be literal (like building a false wall in your house) or political (like staying quiet and unobtrusive.)

Let's wait and see what happens in this election before deciding how to protect [DAUGHTER]..

Love,
Mom

Not only is my mother apparently blissfully unaware that queer people who were closeted got thrown in jail for it all the time anyway. She also seems to be unaware that my daughter has no problem telling people she's queer. She has no problem with me doing it and sharing things like pictures of her girlfriend with friends and family online.

Which means that Trump's administration could very easily figure out who she is.

But yeah, my mother thinks the solution to protecting my daughter from Trump is for her to go into the closet and hope no one finds out.

For fuck's sake. I know she's an old lady, but it's 2024.

What would she say if my daughter's mother was Latina? Wear pancake makeup and color contacts? Change her name to something not-Spanish?

I'm not even going to bother replying.

cross-posted from: https://lemm.ee/post/46477287

See, Lemmy is a relatively small platform. There are pretty few active users here. Moderators should occasionally bend the rules if people are having fun and post or comment is in good faith. We shouldn't moderate like robots; if I wanted that, I'd use Reddit or another meta platform. If we start banning every user and blocking each other, this place will become quiet and lonely. We should act like a community, not a big shitty corpo social media platform.

I made this post after some incidents like @[email protected] banning @[email protected] on [email protected] for posting intentionally funny comics. I know I know rule say comic should be unintentionally funny. Also, Ban of @[email protected] on [email protected] by @[email protected] for posting a NSFW (Not really) post without NSFW tag unintentionally.

Also, my comment on news of archive.org getting hacked and DDOS. (I said "People who are doing this fucking die") on [email protected]. I know, my comment is not in good faith but I have no sympathy for people who want to destroy information and knowledge.

10/10 vibes youtu.be/e6Funs6yyEw [8:38]

I don’t know how to pipe the link, as an advance heads up of my ignorance.