[Outdated, please look at pinned post] Casual Conversation

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Basically title. I don't have children (yet), but I always like hearing parents stories

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The Four Drives

Here's an interesting question for you, one that many people have asked themselves, asked their parents, teachers, and even asked their Gods: what makes people do what they do? And a lot of people have answered that question with their own interpretations of human nature. I'm sure you've heard many of them before: people are driven by their passions, people want to serve God, people are motivated by rational self interest, or by their commitments to each other.

Allow me to explain how they're all wrong, but on the other hand, sort of right. You've heard other theories, you can hear one more. Here's my theory: people have four core motivations, what I call the four drives:

Empathy, Ego, Reverence and Will.

There are two ways of interpreting this, and I posit that the first model is the one most people unconsciously already operate by, even if they don't realise it. The first model I call:

The Moral Compass.


Each choice a person makes will be driven by their individual inclination toward their drives.

Empathy to the west: one's connection to the feelings, thoughts, beliefs and intentions of others, and their reciprocal feelings in kind.

Ego to the east: one's self esteem, self preservation, the recognition of one's abilities and power as an individual.

Reverence to the north: one's respect for abstract social norms, concepts and ideologies; the extent to which one can believe and accept things, take them seriously, and to see them as more important than oneself.

Will to the south: one's ability to affect the world around them, to act upon one's beliefs and desires; one's courage, and capacity to create from one's imagination.

In the compass model, each axis is considered a spectrum with a person placing somewhere along it. For instance, either empathetic, egoistic, or in between. Thus, a person must choose between either being selfish or selfless, and also, either reverent or willful, never both. And each axis represents an inclination between individual and collective; ego represents one's own emotions, and empathy represents the emotions of others; will represents one's own choices, and reverence represents the choices of others.

This means a person's motives can be described by a point on the compass created by these two axes. This represents a zero sum approach to morality, and a conflict between individual and collective which can never be resolved, only periodically brokering compromises.

In summation, the moral compass boils every decision down to a choice between self and others, and this operates on multiple layers; individual vs society; organisation versus industry; country vs rest of the world.


That describes the moral compass, which, as stated earlier, I believe is already internalised in modern society. This, I think can be easily seen in our media, which can be seen as a reflection of the values of society. How many films, books, video games, tv shows and more, can have their central conflict summed up as a battle between individualism and collectivism? A debate between a person who values ego, and a person who values empathy? A fight between a reverent zealot, and a willful lone wolf?

But, more concretely than that, how many times in your own life, have you felt you needed to choose, "are my feelings valid, or are theirs? Are my beliefs true, or are theirs"? And if the contradiction is irreconcilable, a compromise is brokered that gives each not what they wanted, but something "in the middle". This approach inevitably leads to the conclusion, "the truth is somewhere in the middle", with neither getting what they want, and the resentment only festering further.

There is another way to view these four motives, that I think perfectly answers this seeming contradiction. I call it:


The Dual Dialectic.

Whereas the compass model treats each axis as a spectrum between opposing forces, the dialectical approach instead treats each motive as part of a whole.

The compass model resembles a debate between self and society - "which is more valuable, me, or others?" - and thus ends with a winner, or a halfway compromise. This is because debates have a winner, and the winner is always one of the two debating.

A dialectic, instead, takes both views and attempts to find the truth within. In this way, ego and empathy can be taken as two sides of the same coin, halves of a truth. Where a debate ends with a winner and a loser, a person who is right and one who is wrong, a dialectic leaves room for both, or neither, being correct, as the real aim is to find the truth, whether that be thesis (original view) antithesis (opposing view) or synthesis (a new view, which is a mixture).

With this in mind, each axis creates a synthesis from its poles: synthesising ego and empathy, we get collaboration. If you're choosing between yourself and others, you can instead choose both. In helping others, you not only satisfy your ego in proving your power and gaining strength, but you also satisfy your empathy in lessening the suffering of others, and also strengthening them in turn. This means you get what you want, and they get what they want - no compromises. You help them, and they help you, too.

Synthesising reverence and will, we get reason. It takes reason to choose between believing something, and only acting on your own will. And it also takes reason to see when your interests are already aligned with others, or not, and to determine the truth of a belief. It is not simply your own will or others: it is your capacity to discern the truth that truly matters. If one's own will runs contrary to the beliefs of another, then both can use reason to resolve the dispute. Perhaps, on reflection and after reasoned conversation, this will did not in fact violate those beliefs; or, indeed, perhaps it did, and further reasoning finds an unharmful alternative.

And the synthesis becomes complete by synthesising the two results, and creating Reasoned Collaboration. A complete solution for decision making. Person to person, person to society, group to group, in all arenas - collaborate on all matters, reason through all options, strengthening one another and ourselves at every moment, spiraling closer and closer to the truth, because at every step, we are observing and reasoning and experimenting and reflecting upon our decisions.


If I have to sum this all up in one sentence, it is this:

If you are asked to choose between yourself and another, remember: there is always a way to choose both, and anyone that tells you otherwise is trying to sell you a divided world.


So, these were two interpretations of a 4-pointed model of motivation. I hope you found this somewhat interesting, and that I'm not just a pretentious whackjob trying to reinvent the wheel. Only time will tell.

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[How is your day going?] (self.casualconversation)
submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by mod_bot_995 to c/casualconversation
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Dear Infirst Healthcare USA,

Due to an ulcer, under recommendation of my physician, I have been using your product known as Mylanta on a daily basis. At this time, I cannot recommend your product. It is not due to the medical properties of the product itself, of which I have no quarrel, but due to the “fun” flavors you have added to it. I have tried three versions now- original, chamomile and vanilla caramel.

The original was absolutely disgusting.

The chamomile was absolutely disgusting plus chamomile.

The vanilla caramel, despite its claim of a “smooth and creamy taste” was absolutely disgusting plus vanilla and caramel. But it was easier to wash out of the little cup than the others, so it gets that as a plus.

Overall, I see this as a general failure of your product. You know it’s disgusting, I know it’s disgusting, the world knows it’s disgusting. Do not try to hide your disgusting product with flavors. You’re only ruining those flavors.

Let’s all come together as a community and celebrate the fact that your product, necessary as it may be, tastes terrible and nothing will change that.

Thank you for your time,

Flying Squid

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[How is your day going?] (self.casualconversation)
submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by mod_bot_995 to c/casualconversation
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[How is your day going?] (self.casualconversation)
submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by mod_bot_995 to c/casualconversation
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So I keep seeing these referenced in various media formats but I don't recall ever seeing one on the menu where I live (Australia). Maybe they are sold under a different name? Maybe only in some places and I wasn't paying attention? I don't know, but I sure know I've never ordered one.

Am I missing out? What do these taste like? What's the hype all about?

Also- is there a popular food/drink you aren't against trying, that you haven't tried yet?

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[How is your day going?] (self.casualconversation)
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[How is your day going?] (self.casualconversation)
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As title states.

But also, can I get some advice from the community? After a long while, I finally lifted the veil over my eyes and came to terms with the fact that I am totally and unapologetically homosexual. But I've been married for a long time so we're trying to make it work and just extend ourselves to polyamory. I've booted up a dating profile, but should I include that I am a baby gay? Do I include my open relationship? Or are those things to talk about in person? Any advice?

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What do you like to collect? (self.casualconversation)
submitted 1 year ago by FireWire400 to c/casualconversation
 
 

Saw a post like this on Reddit once and I thought some of the responses were quite interesting.

I collect all sorts of stuff from vinyl records and vintage game consoles to Harley-Davidson dealer t-shirts.

I'm curious about what some of you guys collect, the weirder the better :D

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[How is your day going?] (self.casualconversation)
submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by mod_bot_995 to c/casualconversation
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[How is your day going?] (self.casualconversation)
submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by mod_bot_995 to c/casualconversation
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Currently in need of mods for !casualconversation to moderate and create content. If interested let us know!

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[How is your day going?] (self.casualconversation)
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[How is your day going?] (self.casualconversation)
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[How is your day going?] (self.casualconversation)
submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by mod_bot_995 to c/casualconversation
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So I have an ulcer. I dry heave at least once a day and I haven't eaten in 21 days. (Please do not give me advice, I hate it, I don't want medical advice from people over the internet. At best, if you do, I'll respond with a "thanks.")

I'm in a somewhat smaller town, not really small, about 80,000 people maybe. There is exactly one gastroenterologist in this town. I went to him when I hadn't eaten in 6 days. For a $50 copay, he said to take some Mylanta along with the Protonix I was already taking and call him in two weeks if I wasn't better. So I call him yesterday. I talk to the nurse. I tell her all my symptoms, none of which have changed. She sounds very concerned.

I hear nothing all day. This morning, I call again. The doctor hasn't even gotten to my information. So the nurse sends a message that I called again, which he probably also won't see.

I have tried to get a second opinion, or just another prescription for something, but there is not a single gastroenterologist within a 90 minute drive that would see me within three months. I'm pretty sure if I don't eat for three months, I'll be pretty dead. I mean, I'm living on Ensure and Gatorade, but I doubt that will get me to three more months.

Oh, and this is the second time this has happened. The first time, I had to take a bunch of tests like a CT scan and an X-Ray and a blood panel and they found nothing. I had a scheduled colonoscopy anyway, so they just went down my throat as well and that's when they found the ulcer. No one even suggested an ulcer before that.

Why am I saying all of this? I'm not even complaining about all of this. I'm complaining about the fact that this has cost me almost $2000 already and I feel lucky because I have good insurance. I'm not poor, but I don't really have $2000 to spare. I'm paying it off in installments, but god damn, I have to pay all of this money and they have stopped even giving a shit about me.

What would someone in my position without insurance even do? Die? That's what conservatives fucking want.

We need universal healthcare and a complete overhaul of the healthcare system now.

And any time you hear someone complain about how long a wait you have in Canada or the UK to see someone to help you and how America has the best healthcare system in the world and how people from other countries come here for treatment, send them to this post before telling them to get fucked.

TL;DR No one gives a shit about you in American healthcare except maybe the nurses and all they do is suck money out of your bank account.

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[How is your day going?] (self.casualconversation)
submitted 2 years ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by mod_bot_995 to c/casualconversation
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[How is your day going?] (self.casualconversation)
submitted 2 years ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by mod_bot_995 to c/casualconversation
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No expectations to do anything, no guilt over not going out, the rain is a free pass to stay inside guilt free Read a book or watch a movie

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[How is your day going?] (self.casualconversation)
submitted 2 years ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by mod_bot_995 to c/casualconversation
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I posted a few weeks ago asking for ideas on what to do in Boston. I appreciated all of the suggestions!

We ended up having less free time than I expected us to, but we were able to do a few things on the list.

Our hotel was right near the Boston Public Library, and we spent a good amount of time exploring that area. We walked around the Prudential Center, ate at Ramsay’s Kitchen, got to scope out the library, checked out a good bit of the Freedom Trail, saw some sea life at the New England Aquarium, tried some breweries (I enjoyed Democracy Brewing a lot), shopped around Quincy Market, and hung out around Little Italy and China Town.

I’d say we walked at least 5 miles per day, and saw a lot of historical sites. Definitely an enjoyable visit!

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