[Outdated, please look at pinned post] Casual Conversation

If you don't like it, block the bot?

I'm confused on why people would downvote threads that account for most of the content in this community

I got 2 invite codes to giveaway here

It is annoying semi annoying maybe but like I use it to do black market things, anarchy stuff, getting medicine where gov provides shit. It is such a crutch

But you dare to mention it on mainstream media and you will get lynched or banned for whatever reason nowadays.

Kinda irks me because it helps with my disability so much to get stuff I need, medicine. I couldn't function without it

Just ranting I guess, I do too much of rants admittedly

Edit: So I see all the scams created bias about this tech which is unfortunate. But looking aside this tech is pretty rad though maybe too much resource intensive depending on implementation

Which one is it for you?

Cool event ongoing at [email protected] !

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/6094410

Don't feel like doing all 31? Never inked before? Prefer digital? Doesn't matter! Let's have fun during Inktober. (Let us know if you feel like submissions should be grouped or something.) Happy Inktober!

Seriously, I love this series so much. The Audiobooks are amazing.

I've become curious about how many spelunkers are out there. One of the hobbies of me and my friends that very few people know about is cave exploration, or spelunking as it's called in the United States. It's a hobby that traces itself to my grandfather; he had a job post-WWII where he would venture into caves because there was a fear samurai were hiding in caves all across the Pacific. This turned into cave exploration skills which he passed onto my friends (less so me, I can "technically" do it for the visual enjoyment and do certain aspects better but consider it a safety red flag). I usually sit by as "reinforcements" outside a cave even though I do sometimes fancy some visuals.

There are a number of caves where we are, as it's one of the most erosion-rich regions in the world if not the most. Sometimes my friends discover things, either they take pictures or set them up for analysis. The activity can be so fascinating, caves are the opposite of open books and it's fun to "leave a mark" as you go, if that makes sense; it's like playing a video game in real life. Everyone talks about urban exploration, which is less insightful/legal and always involves places that were once sprawling anyways. Nobody talks about spelunking.

Any of you spelunkers out there? What caves have you been to? What's the most you've ever done, and what things have you discovered or brought back? And what did your experience involve?

Hello everyone,

Trying to assess how many people among us block all bot accounts using the "Show bot accounts" checkbox in the accounts settings. I got reminded yesterday that the LW rules ask for every bot account to be flagged as such, which is now the case for @[email protected] .

As a consequence, if you block bot accounts, you might not see the daily thread from now on.

If that is an issue for too many people, I will look for a solution (the first coming to mind being moving the community to another instance).

As far as I am concerned, I understand the instance rules, for me it is more an issue with Lemmy technical limitations that do not allow accounts to schedule posts. Would that be possible in the platform itself, I wouldn't have to use that bot (and https://schedule.lemmings.world, a nice tool created by @[email protected] ) and the issue would be solved.

Let me know what you think!

Hello to everyone on the EU timezone

I sleep with my wife and (when she graces us with her presence) our cat. Last night I caught myself syncing my breath to their breaths while sleeping, or half-sleeping considering I was aware of what was happening. Eventually their breathing went out of sync, and my breathing got confused, and after a very brief period of suffocation, I realized that I have no obligation to sync my breath, and took control of my breathing and started breathing normally. It felt strange to me but I googled it and it looks like syncing your breath happens to people. Does it happen to you as well?

PS: I realized while typing, I don't know if I should be hearing my 3kg cat's breathing. I should check on that.

Posting it myself today, hope everyone is doing well.

Have a good week-end!

I dropped her off this morning and saw girls (and boys) wearing grass skirts, some of them with coconut bras too. I'm not sure what else is going on, but it doesn't seem very respectful of a native culture that we have seriously fucked over. Would they have a "Native American Day" and let kids come in wearing feathered headdresses?

Or am I reading too much into it?

Note: I just re-read it before posting and realized its long and I'm putting it in the "casual conversations" community... I think I'd still consider it casual because it's just a story of day-to-day life and I'm not particularly looking for advice or feedback, it's just for fun.

I'm bored and figured I'd tell a kinda funny story that happened recently. As someone who used to enjoy all of the relationship/dating/drama/interpersonal stuff on that other site and doesn't see much here, maybe it's time to provide some of my own! This one's a mostly positive story.

A short version of the lead-up: I've been dealing with the worst anxiety/ptsd so far in my life for the last year or so, and asked my psychiatrist if we can "experiment" with meds I haven't tried yet to see if anything could help. This time around I was shocked when the first drug I tried was an enormous help! I've been on at least 30 different psych meds before for this and that, but hadn't focused my sights on anxiety before, and it's always been a lot of trial and error before finding one that works.

My anxiety went from so all-consuming to seemingly non-existant I wondered if it had somehow turned off my ability to feel anxiety at all. Over the next month I realized that wasn't the case; I was just much closer to normal levels of anxiety now and my tolerance for it was super high because of how bad it was before. Note for anyone who reads this: if you have anxiety, it's worth double-checking with your doctor that you've tried everything; there may be a medication you haven't tried that could have a huge impact.

All that is to say that recently I've noticed how much clearer my mind is and how much more thought time I can give to anything other than worrying. It's amazing.

For context, I'm 36M, she's 30F. One of the things I really was forced to put on the backburner since it had started less than a year ago was processing my evolving feelings for our relationship. It almost feels like I'm back in the first couple of months of dating again; all the butterflies, constant amazement at how cute I think she is, stupid little insecurities, feeling lucky, etc started over while simultaneously already knowing her on a pretty intimate level. Definitely a weird experience, and I'm sure it's a little irritating at times to be at the "comfortable" stage of a relationship dating someone who basically just "restarted" their mind with respect to how they feel about being with you. Luckily, she's pretty patient. (btw, hi abe!)

We're both similar but not identical flavors of neurodivergent, and like many couples of any blend we've got our own set of communication issues. As I'm in this state of being super-excited about her and us, and generally knowing that this is a great pairing, I asked a few times here and there if she confidently knows if she wants to marry me one day. Not actually proposing, but feeling out her thoughts on it to see where we are. I personally am more of an "engaged after two years of dating" type.

I may not have phrased it that cautiously when I asked her originally. I can be a little intense when I get fixated on something and am a pretty impulsive talker. It probably doesn't help that I have a tendency to ask ridiculous questions totally deadpan just to see her reaction and find out her thoughts, and I do that probably just as much if not more as I ask things seriously. So, as you might be predicting, unbeknownst to me I might have been cultivating some worries on her side that I wanted to get engaged and married ASAP.

We also have had some ridiculous circumstances in our relationship where we've thrown normal relationship expectations/timelines out the window and done crazy things like move in with each other on the second date (I'm happy to post that story another time, its ridiculous but has actually worked out so far). Of course, when you do crazy things when you've just met someone but only because of the circumstances, they might not be super confident that you wouldn't normally want to run things that way. My point is, I'm pretty sure she got to the point that she thought if she said "yes" I was going to book an appointment at the courthouse and we'd be changing our Facebook profiles to "married" by the end of the week.

She's naturally pretty quiet and avoids conflict so she hadn't brought it up. One night, as she was falling asleep I asked if she would marry me (trying to be funny about skipping the "confidently knows she wants to one day" part) and see what answer I'd get out of half-asleep her. She said yes, and so naturally I made a whole big deal about now being "engaged" and how exciting that was (like I said, I'm an impulsive talker; I never said I was particularly smart). No, I never considered us actually engaged (because I know you're reading this).

The next day, I don't remember how exactly we got to this point but we were talking about it and she told me what her hesitations about answering me were. I was pretty surprised to find out she thought I wanted to get married soon and it was causing a good amount of anxiety for her. I explained my real motivations to her: my biggest reason was because I've been in a lot of relationships in my life and I've never gotten a confident "yeah, I definitely think we'll get married someday provided nothing huge changes how I feel". I don't actually care about the getting married part. We could get married the day before the first one of us dies for all I care. It's the validation and knowing someone thinks they want to spend the rest of their life with you that I was looking for. If instead she proposed to me right now I'd still put off even planning the wedding for at least a year.

She felt a lot better and while I was frustrated I didn't see that coming or the pressure I was accidentally creating, I was happy that I was able to pretty easily take away something that was making her anxious.

I finally got that "yes" I was hoping for so I've ordered the promise ring for our pre-engagement!

(sorry, I did mention I like to say absurd shit deadpan, didn't I?)

That is all.

Lost my wife (34) to cancer last month and I haven't found any good resources to help me. How do you cope with their loss? Please remove if this isn't allowed.