[Outdated, please look at pinned post] Casual Conversation

I want to give a card to one of my teachers and wanted to decorate it personally, I have never been into painting, but I don’t want to get anyone else to paint for me. Wish me Luck

So I don't really know how to ask this question because I can't quite explain what I really mean or want to ask.

I am now 30 years old and I couldn't be in a better situation than currently. My job is fun and providing me enough money to live a happy life and pay my own built house (I am a nurse). I have way more free time than lets say even in my childhood. I remember coming home from school and feeling anxiety cause of exams. I remember nursing school, it was hell for me.

Now all I have to do is go to work and when my shift is done I am off and can do whatever I want whenever I want. I don't have to ask parents to drive me somewhere, I have my own money, I have my own house, I can play video games all day... and still, I don't know why but nostalgia is real.

I am not even sure if my feelings are real. I can only give silly examples like coming home from school, logging into world of warcraft with friends and having a blast. But I don't think it was like that. We were all just in skype and everyone was minding their own business in that game. We had good laughs though.

I don't know. My life should be so much better than it was 15 years ago but I miss the 2000s era. It all just felt so different. I remember the hot summers going to the lake with friends.

Now? I don't know. Maybe it is because it seems like I am the only one that has so much "time" and no one really joins anymore. While I have a wife and no kids and most of my friends don't even have a wife yet (so no kids....) they still are somehow busy and don't go to the lake anymore, don't play video games anymore, don't do anything. I actually wonder what they do all day.

Life felt more exciting back then. Maybe because I had goals and now I am "done"? But this should feel good. I am happy that I am "done". House, wife, job. Those were the things I wanted back then and now I am more than happy to have those things.

For better or for worse, while growing up my social life was mostly online: gaia online, livejournal, deviantart, tumblr, and many others. I've heard of social media interaction be described as social junk food & even as I want to defend the many genuine, meaningful online relationships I had, I'm sympathetic: of course it's better to laugh together, to touch each other, to see each other's facial expressions, to do projects together, to tangibly help each other, to be part of each others' physical lives. Of course tech companies prey on our increasing loneliness and need for interaction the way that Coca Cola preys on thirst: claiming to cure it but exacerbating it and making us ill at the same time (and killing workers as they do it). But lots of people are in situations that keep them isolated that they can't easily change: disability, living rurally, working two jobs, living in places where they can't speak the language well, and the internet can provide a solution.

My life circumstances enable me to live the life I've always wanted to live, but it comes at a few sacrifices, the biggest being a social life, particularly a social life with people who share my values and who I feel comfortable speaking intimately with. There are lots of ways I can think of to make friends online, but mostly they involve having conversations on spyware platforms. Now that I'm privacypilled I can't unring that bell. It's as comfortable for me to make a friendship on a facebook group as it would be meeting a stranger for lunch in an extremely crowded public venue and have to scream our entire conversation perpetually. At least if they were willing to switch to Signal or something at some point we could metaphorically go to a quiet cafe and speak freely, but even the dude I talked to who talked about the book he read on techno-feudalism ditched it after trying it for a grand total of five minutes with me.

I fucking hate most tech companies and basically can't tolerate mainstream social media. My IRL prospects are what they are, I could change them only at great cost to myself. But, embracing my milkless cloth monkey mom, I have to admit sociality, love, and understanding are needs: their absence won't kill me as quickly as starvation, but it's probably up there with sedentism. Anybody else in the same pinch? How do you cope?

Would any of you like to be a mod? With the way things are going, we're looking for equal numbers lemm.ee and lemmy.world mods. If you'd like to apply, tell us about yourself below, let it flow.

How was it spent?

cross-posted from: https://lemm.ee/post/25506145

Just finished a decade long expedition of starting my business, growing it with love & tears to an exit to a venture funded giant in the space, being on their leash for a few years, & getting laid off just this week. AMA why capitalism will self consume. And since I have some time now I can try to articulate what I think will replace it.

From my experience i would say i'm getting more familliar with pain and just registering it less rather than actually having any gains. I think i will be stopping it from now on . Maybe i shouldn't have continued after i started feeling pain ? Will see if the pain stop or will go to the doctors. Anyway thoughts ?

EDIT : Gentleman/woman i am pleased to announce the pain has completely ceased to exist and seems like i hadn't suffered any damage and gotta say thanks for your concern lemmy .

Also what about the chinese guys beating up wood if there is no gain why are they doing that ?

https://github.com/LemmyNet/lemmy/issues/4433

Should i repost this to any other /c/'s meant for this kind of things ?

EDIT: In case anyone don't understand what this is it is an issue raised by someone on lemmy git that when an account is deleted or banned it should also delete the data the data posted by the user. And one of the main dev nutomic is blowing it of like it won't affect me and maltfield is remainding him that it is illegal under the EU law and it also affects lemmy and moreover it is not ethical or moral . And i thought that was what lemmy was built on privacy, ethics and morals now i am dissapointed.

EDIT : For everyone saying there is no way i am not really ap roggrammer or anything but couldn't this work :

They could just roll it out on a new version and i think most instances won't mod it to remove that maybe some oddball ones will but not most. I know saved copies will be there but who cares no one is saving my 1000 comments but that is not the case with this .

It is copy pasted from one of my replies.

EDIT: Also it is not my intention to point finger to lemmy devs and i can differentiate their political stance and their work my only intention was to see that if this post gained enough traction they will reply or fix the issue.

EDIT : Relevant comment from @[email protected] about what if other instance don't delete your data.

So maybe those instances are breaking the law, but Lemmy by default should comply. You could say the exact same thing about any social media - scrapers can and do archive everything they can - but that doesn’t absolve the original platforms (e.g. Twitter) from having to follow the law.

EDIT : As just a person i can't do anything about it but i am certain if everybody pitch in the lemmy devs will listen and even though everyone seems to hate lemmy devs political stance i can differentiate with politics and their work and i find @[email protected] to be very responsive so i am gonna mention him and see what he thinks about it instead of trashing lemmy devs on speculation (i don't know nutomic's id) even though i don't agree wuth nutomic's response in this case i don't share the views of many people in the comments and don't associate this post with them.

EDIT : I just want an option to purge my data when deleting an account that you can enable or disable.

EDIT:Ok i just woke up and am catching up with some of these replies and i wanna say i don't share any of their views nor am i affliated with them i never wanted to trash on the dev and that is one of the main reason i posted this on casual conversation i didn't think this would get this uncasual . All i wanted to so was draw attention to this problem so devs will act on it faster but since then i have learned lemmy politics does'nt work like that and as i am not the mod or anyththing i can't do anything about some of the comments except make it clear i have no affliations with them. Just keep it casual people. I too want these changes but maybe geemtting on the nerve if devs isn't the best way to achieve it.

Something @[email protected] chimed in .Your comments can be public, but your data is yours. That’s the whole point of GDPR. Think of an art gallery. The gallery does not own the art a lot of the time, they simply show it. The art is owned by the artist. If they want to take it down they can. The same thing applies here. Your data, you get to choose what happens to it in the eyes of the law.

EDIT:

I accidently left this part out so uploading it.

That's it, enjoy everyone!

Having trouble phrasing this, so in case it's not clear I'm not looking for casual misogyny thanks

Having a debate with a friend about whether men shopping with women can be fun and I'm wondering how coloured my view of this is by me and my ex.

I'd love to hear what makes a great shopping experience for you with your friends or significant others!

I hate it.

By appreciating I mean taking the time to take something in more thoroughly than skimming, while also not letting oneself lose track of what's happening around them.

mbin is now federating downvotes so now i can see how much of the lemmyverse ~~hates~~ disagrees with me on my home instance.

i know down votes are a contentious subject in some places, but i welcome them as useful communicative flags.

.. also seems to have cleared up the messaging queues handling the dropping of those federated votes. things are flowing better.

I have a degree that would put me at Helpdesk Level II if I could find a fucking job.

I literally don't know how to find remote jobs, so I continue to just find and work shitty blue-collar jobs in my city.

I have CML and it would be really nice to have a job that sort of helped me get my medical problems in order. It's either that or being a deadbeat who works part-time just so I can qualify for the ACA and get my $16k a month medications covered.

I have other health problems beyond the CML that would make my life a lot easier if I didn't have to be on my feet all day. I really struggle with it and have to take anti-nausea meds all day and pain meds all day to manage it, whereas I don't need those anywhere near as much if I'm in a chair.

So the first order of business, Lemmy, is how the hell do I even look for a remote job to begin with?

I'll probably come back for more questions about how to actually get a job like that because I feel like I don't know wtf I'm doing when it comes to resumes/cover letters either (part of it is I don't want to write fan-fiction about some shitty job that will mistreat me).

I hear a lot of anecdotes about things people find on the highway. I have family members who say they found a free couch on the highway. A friend of a friend said they found a board game set on the highway. Then today a family member was talking about a cat they adopted, and I asked how she ended up with one (she doesn't like cats), and she said "oh we found her on the highway, we're surprised nothing happened to her".

Is this a common thing? What's the most unexpected thing you found while on the highway?

Before I begin- Again, please no medical advice or suggestions. I am going to the Mayo Clinic in March and I will get their advice and I am just going to ignore any medical advice posted, sorry. Please no pity party either, I'm just angry and need a a place to rant and vent, that's it. Feel free to ignore this post and move on.

So... starting in about January of 2023, I started dry heaving almost every morning and this has happened ever since. Nothing has ever come up. Within five minutes of getting up in the morning, I dry heave. Sometimes once, but sometimes a few times.

In March, I stopped eating for six weeks. It's not like I'm too nauseated to eat or I feel too full to eat, I just do not want to eat. Period. I've explained it to others like this- would you be able to eat a turd? No. That's how all solid food feels like to me. I can't even force myself. It's a total aversion to food. Even the smells of food can trigger it, especially savory smells like onions, cooked meat or cheese (meaning I hide in my office in the garage when my wife and daughter have pizza). My current doctor has described it as anorexia but with a physical cause.

I went to urgent care, they told me to go to the ER because they couldn't give me the diagnostics I would need. I went to the ER. They gave me X-rays, they took labs, and they did a couple of other tests I can't remember now and sent it all to my doctor (who I've since gotten rid of because she was worthless). She told me there were no results, but to be sure I also needed a CT scan, and my insurance wouldn't let me go to a private facility, so my only option to get it quickly was to go back to the ER the next day and get one. Incidentally, the first day was an 8-hour visit and the second day was a 6-hour visit. Hooray American healthcare system.

I got prescribed various anti-nausea medications, which were of no help because I had no nausea. I ended up living on Ensure and Gatorade.

Anyway, by mid-April, I was eating again. It just suddenly happened. I felt like eating, ate some crackers, and I was fine with an appetite again. I still heaved every day, but I was fine.

I also had to do a colonoscopy the next month, and just to be sure, I scheduled an EGD where they check your stomach as well. They found an ulcer. Finally, an answer! Nope. They did another EGD six weeks later, the ulcer was gone and I was still heaving.

No one knew what was wrong, of course, but it seemed less urgent. I scheduled a bunch of tests and, since this is the U.S., they were scheduled for months later and the summer started.

Then, in August, on the morning of August 20th, it all changed. I got up, ate some cereal, and that was the last thing I ever ate so far.

Back to the doctors it was! This time, I got a head MRI in case it was neurological, as I do have a rare nerve disorder as well (trigeminal neuralgia) because I won the fucking genetic lottery. Nope, MRI showed nothing. My neurologist actually said my brain was the most healthy she'd seen in a while. So that didn't work.

I couldn't keep taking time off of work, so I took FMLA, a law that allows you to take up to 12 weeks off, unpaid, for health reasons and have a guaranteed job you could come back to. It is actually paid for bigger companies, but if a company has under 50 employees, which mine did, no pay.

12 weeks went by and I just had to end up quitting. What else could I do? I was glad because I hated that job and I was able to put my very bullied daughter into online school and supervise her, so there were good sides, but we're down to a single income now with ever-mounting medical debt despite having "good" insurance.

Anyway, back to the medical situation! I had a HIDA scan. That tests for gallbladder issues. The HIDA scan suggested that might be a problem. So, again, hey, a solution! I had my gallbladder out just before Christmas. It's a simple surgery and you can recover from it with almost no trouble because the gallbladder can be removed like the appendix. I was hoping I'd wake up hungry. No such luck and my gallbladder was healthy.

At this point, most of the doctors basically threw up their hands and said they didn't know what to do and I applied to go to the Mayo Clinic. For those of you unfamiliar, it's one of the best hospitals in the country and it specializes in cases no one can figure out. Sort of a real-life House situation except with lots of doctors instead of one asshole. They accepted me and I go on March 22nd. I was going to have to do a GoFundMe for the trip, but my 81-year-old mother, who is relatively well-off, said she would go with me to be an advocate and take notes and also pay for an AirBnB. I don't really want to drive 8 hours up to Minnesota with a semi-crazy old lady, but at least I'm saving money.

Obviously, it's been very hard on my family. On top of general worrying about me, I can't go out to eat with my wife and daughter because I'm concerned I won't be able to handle a restaurant's smell. I can't even get them fast food. My daughter wanted a meatball sub and I had to tell her I couldn't get it for her because I couldn't handle going inside and I couldn't handle the smell as she drove it home (my wife got it for her later, but I hate telling her I can't get her food). On top of that, I have to request they turn the kitchen fan on when they eat or I won't be able to come back into the house. I usually go to my mother-in-laws' house on Christmas, but I couldn't because there would be a whole bunch of food there.

I wish I could eat. So badly. For so many reasons. I keep seeing food ads and think of how good it would be to have them (in an abstract sense, I wouldn't be able to eat them if they were in front of me). A Nepali restaurant opened in town. I have never had Nepali food, but I love Indian food and I love Tibetan food and Nepal is between them. I drive by it all the time wishing I could have just a tiny bit.

The weirdest part? I feel fine almost all the time. I have very little energy obviously (I do try to exercise), and there's the heaving part, but I don't really feel sick most of the time. Also, I can brag that for the first time in my life I'm just 5 pounds above my BMI ideal weight of 180 pounds. Before I got sick, I weighed 260 pounds. Also, I don't have high cholesterol or high blood pressure anymore, so I guess there's a silver lining? Buying a whole bunch of new pants because none of the old ones fit anymore kind of sucked though.

Anyway, that's my story. It's six months since I've eaten today. My "diet" consists of- Tea in the morning, Ensure four times a day for the nutrition, Gatorade twice a day for the electrolytes, V8 twice a day for the fiber (I have to drink it while holding my nose), and as a treat, either root beer at home or a chai latte out somewhere. Also, I might have gotten the order of things wrong, sorry. There's been so much that I've had to go through.

Six months. I'm going to celebrate by not eating some cake.

Edit: Hooray having a terrible memory too, my mother reminded me this morning that I go on March 26th.

I'm unfortunately currently in a situation where I don't have a lot of options for activities and find myself somewhat bored... What do you do when you're bored?

To me it feels like a matured Reddit. (At least most of the time 🙃)

I personelly sort top day All which hits the sweet spot of getting still active posts with aldready some activities and it is neither too old or too new. I think it also covers the categories such as hot and active.

All my practical exams are over and only theory is left, that means this year of my senior high is over and I have been feeling a bit down lately which I have discussed elsewhere, but how was your week?

So much work I underestimated it. Currently Petting dry wall on the walls, just looking at what is still not done yet and thinking about all the finishing with filling up the walls, screws, sanding, painting and then the floor has to be Sand and put in snd doors.

Im dead til I make this house livable. The only good thing is I have no rent costs til its done and live at my parents house

• As the movies communities are either dead or seems to be enjoying down voting these kinda wuestions to hell and this question is well in the limits with this community .

• Recommend movies that have a very good plot with no plotholes (this is very important for me as a movie watcher) , doesn't feel too dated ,has solid 3 dimensional character and arc , good direction and good acting ?

• Some of mine are

• Donnie darko
• American psycho
• Fight club
• Seven
• The prestige
• Panic room
• Zodiac
• Taxi driver

• So share your favourites and please no comedy,romance or jumpscare horrors. You can use my list to kinda get an idea of the specific type of movies i am asking for here . And also if you can give a short spoiler free TLDR and attach a trailer that would ve appreciated . Thanks in advance.

Last night, I watched ‘The Conners’ (it's on after Jeopardy here, and it's not so bad now that Barr is gone), and I can't stop thinking about it. Hopefully, you saw it, too, but it was bothersome. It started with a 90+ YO woman getting her identity stolen. Fair enough. Then, the family thought that debit would be their issue and staged an “intervention.” This is where I think TV needs to be more educational and should have explained that no, they were not going to “be left with a mountain of debt.” Instead, they find out she wasn't being defrauded and had made the purchases herself. Here is where it jumped the shark. This gave them the idea, from experience with Rosanne's death, that credit card debt usually gets wiped when someone dies. They go on a fraudulent spending spree, and near the end of the episode, they find out the credit company will investigate the issue.

I guess my point for the conversation is that there are so many tucking crazy loopholes in this episode it was almost anti-educational and pushed an agenda with no reason. I understand a lot of scripted shows are like this, such as Law and Order (except the original, sort of), but this seemed over the top.

She means the world to me, I just want her to be happy. I don't know if she'll realize they're from me.

Edit: okay, I let her know it was me

Edit to add context: I do like her more than as a friend, I know she doesn't and that's why I did it anonymously.

I don't want her to feel pressured, just cared for. We have been good friends for a long time, I think my feelings can become an obstacle for our friendship and I hate that.

I wish I didn't feel this way.

Update: we're not friends anymore

I've been there before, but I realized that I should take pictures and share the awe I feel when I go by.

Found at Shady Lane Antique Mall just south of Terre Haute, Indiana