AITAH

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The original was posted on /r/aitah by /u/Kindly-Tailor4515 on 2023-07-18 01:18:09+00:00.

For background, my MIL is a hoarder. My wife doesn't want me to speak up and defend myself, because she still wants to maintain a good relationship so she can still see her father. I want to cut MIL out of our lifes as she makes everything about herself including birthdays. (Now on to the story) My wife, son, and I were at an outing for the 4th of July. I was helping bring the food out for my FiL (a good man) to cook on the grill. Well not all the burgers could fit on the grill, so I was told to set them in the kitchen for later. There was no counter space to be seen. So I sat them on a stool next to the kitchen cause the table was full too. Well I sat them down and later came back in to wash my 1yr old's spoon. I knocked them to the floor and decided to just sat them back since noone was around. I did this for the petty revenge that just happened. My MIL was just making fun of me for not just wiping off his spoon to after it fell to in the dirt where they have dogs, cats, and cows that roam. I knocked the flood to the floor in their dirty house on my way to wash off his spoon that MIL just mocked me for. So that's why I dropped my MIL's food on the ground after she told me to just wipe it off and not wash it off like I did. She picked on me for being clean so I dropped these patties and didn't trash them because I knew her and my SIL that is 30 that also laughed would be the only ones to eat them.

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The original was posted on /r/aitah by /u/Excellent-Record1362 on 2023-07-18 01:16:32+00:00.

I had just gotten out of the hospital for alcohol poisoning and according to my ex wife she had a psychotic break because of a mix of my drinking problem, lack of sleep from having two new puppies we were fostering to adopt one of them, and being on week 5 of a new psychiatric medication (wellbutrin).

I do admit I have a drinking problem- I have cirrhosis so I can't deny it. I'm 30 years old so I did drink a lot to end up with chirrosis.

My POV is that she should have just left when I was drinking instead of worrying about cleaning up after me if I shit the bed or threw up on the floor. Her POV is that she can't leave me alone when I'm drunk because she's worried I'll fall and crack my head open or something. She also said she can't just not clean up after me because that means living in a house full of body fluids and broken bottles.

She's left jobs because of this after I told her multiple times not to. She is a waitress so her shifts are usually 4 hours long and I can be fine for 4 hours alone. She dropped out of school because of this which again I told her not to. That my problems are mine and her leaving jobs and school and trying to help me was making it worse.

Back to the night of the "psychotic break." I left the hospital against medical advice. I went at her insistence because I threw up black stuff and pooped out black stuff and she said it could be a sign of an internal bleed (she ended up being right.) I found out I had cirrhosis too. I left because I felt the doctors weren't treating me right and I felt someone messing around with my butt. She says they were probably wiping me or I hallucinate it from alcohol withdrawals. I'm sure it happened.

I have a bottle of xanax I keep for emergencies and she ate half the bottle. When I came home from the hospital she was out of it, which I would find out later was a suicide attempt.

My mom was there cleaning out the fridge and making dinner and threw away some of my wife's left overs. My mom asked my wife for help cleaning out the fridge and my wife kept saying no because she was "bleeding out of her ass" (she has endometriosis that spread to her bowels.)

My mom is pushy and kept asking her to help clean the fridge. My wife walked off to bed but then came back out again later for some food and saw my mom threw away her left overs.

She started screaming and me my mom and my dad all tried to leave but my wife followed us outside and started to choke my mom. My dad ended up head butting my wife.

It's been months since then and I've quit drinking and my skin and eyes are no longer yellow. I'm doing well now and want nothing to do with my ex wife.

My ex wife has begged me to understand that she was on a new medication that can cause psychosis. She supposedly believes my mom was trying to hurt her first but I don't believe it. And even if it's true I didn't sign up for that. She also attempted to punch me in the nose and admits that was just pure rage.

She was mad I left the hospital against medical advice. I've been to the hospital 8 times this year and she said she looks forward to my hospital visits so she can finally get some peace and live in a clean house without my poop throw up and pee all over it.

She also says she hadn't gotten any sleep because she was "trying to protect the puppies from you." I wanted them to sleep in the bed with us and she wouldn't let me worried that I'd roll over them and kill them in my sleep which I would never do. So she locked me out of our bedroom and wake up every 2 hours to take them out by herself because she didn't trust me to help her.

She also said everyone has a limit and she should have divorced me sooner for my drinking problem. I do admit my drinking problem was severe but I was never violent just annoying and obnoxious.

She claims I would shut her laptop while she was working on timed tests and I'm the reason she dropped out of school and left jobs and that I was ruining her life, so I don't even know why she wants to be with me now.

She said she was sick of cleaning up literal human shit every night from me pooping the bed, which I couldn't help, and I never asked her to wipe for me but she did anyway claiming she didn't want me to get a rash and she knew I had a drinking problem when she married me and it was her duty to take care of me at my worst.

My POV is that I would never hurt the puppies, and if she felt she was getting overwhelmed she should have left instead of letting herself get to the point of a mental break down.

We all have break downs sometimes but hers are violent. She choked my mom. She threw a brick through my car window and claimed it was because I locked her phone in there.

I didn't lock her phone in my car, and I'm unsure if that's an excuse or if she really was psychotic from her new meds.

Two of my best friends told me they can't be friends with me anymore over this and have taken her side. I doubt she told them that she strangled my mom. She got to tell them her side of the story first.

She said she did tell my friends that she choked my mom but that my mom lunged at her first and she thought she was going to hurt her.

She also says she never would have done any of this if it weren't for the fact she was on a new psychiatric med mixed with another psychiatric med she didn't have a prescription for.

That I wasn't supposed to even be home when she was on the xanax trying to kill herself. That I wouldn't let her sleep because I'd wake her up asking to see the puppies or to take me to the gas station to get more beer. That there was a lot of factors I should be more understanding of instead of leaving her at her lowest.

She's also mad at me that I didn't take her to the hospital.

I looked up the milligrams of xanax she took and knew she'd be fine.

But she took them with alcohol and says she also looked it up and should have died. But she didn't.

Her family said she is lucky to be alive. Her brother says her "freak out" was scary (I called her family and they came as we were leaving) but that he can't believe I am leaving her after everything she's done for me.

That she deserves one fuck up compared to my many. But none of my fuck ups were violent. I don't care what her excuse is.

Lots of people take meds and don't get sleep and don't do what she did.

But two of my friends left me over this so I'm unsure. My family is on my side.

I tried to present the situation as unbiased as possible and admit that I have my faults too, I understand I put her under a lot of stress and she's on new meds but I still think she over reacted and I'm right to divorce her.

My dad and mom say she is crazy and the med changes and suicide attempt and lack of sleep are just excuses.

My ex wife is upset that she helped me through my alcoholism and only when I almost die and "finally decide to quit" that I divorce her, she says she got the worst of me and drove her to her breaking point and then abandoned her in her own time of need.

She said she loves me more than anything and that's why she put up with everything for so long and that she would switch meds and we could do counseling together. AITAH for not forgiving my ex?

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The original was posted on /r/aitah by /u/cheesomacitis on 2023-07-18 01:49:12+00:00.

It's her first (only) tattoo and we've only been together for a month. For context, we had jealousy issues such as her texting with other guys she dated prior and I was not committed at first. She left all that behind and in order to feel special I asked her to get a tattoo of my name on her butt. I was really half joking but she actually went along with it: she now has a tattoo of my first and last name in English and my nickname in her language and a heart on her right buttcheek. Actual tattoo with my name crossed out It super turns me on and makes me proud. I'm somewhat of a jealous person and whenever jealousy hits, I just think of the tattoo and it goes away. AITAH?

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The original was posted on /r/aitah by /u/EventComprehensive83 on 2023-07-17 21:55:23+00:00.

Background info: I live in a 1 bedroom flat with my 8 other family members.

I (F17) was sat on my bed making an Instagram account for the first time. My family were doing their own thing and chilling when we heard the outside door open and a women (F51) walked in with curry tubs in her hand. I ran to the front door immediately in shock because my family went silent. No one recognised the voice as she hasn’t done this before. I saw her and laughed in her face and ran back to the room. I don’t know why I did that. It was a fast reaction to something I didn’t expect. After my mum (F39) took the curry off her and thanked her she screamed at me and the rest of the house for “welcoming strangers” by leaving the house doors open at night. No one is stupid enough to do that and they were shut. My mum thinks I’m the asshole. Am I ?

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The original was posted on /r/aitah by /u/Otherwise_Abroad_675 on 2023-07-17 21:30:05+00:00.

First off, I am not an American nationalist walking around in my red hat, screaming MERICA! I don't think that the US is the greatest country in the world, (GASP!) nor do I have any clue as to which country MIGHT BE the greatest country in the world, or IF that's even something that could really be determined, I realize it's all subjective. I also don't subscribe to the "America First" way of thinking. I believe we are all part of a global community that works best when we strive to reach common goals. I have developed this sort of ethos I THINK, from enjoying the experience of living abroad in both Asia and Europe for several years, (now living in the states).

Based on my own experiences, every country has its strengths and weaknesses, wonderful kind people and yes, assholes...INCLUDING the USA. So I think I have a fairly broad, levelheaded understanding of what the world is like outside the borders of my own country.

All that being said....

While watching/reading various content on social platforms, (Youtube, Twitter, Instagram, and elsewhere) I've noticed that many contributors from Europe and the UK enjoy shitting on Americans and American culture...all while they're eating American food, buying American products, consuming American entertainment, wearing American band T-shirts/fashion and listening to American pop, hip hop and rock music, while they explain to me using American slang, everything they dislike about Americans and their culture, (talk about a lack of self awareness!). Some of it is entirely overt, with much of it being done with a wink and a nod. And please do not go into the whole "ugly American" stereotype, I have been fortunate enough to live in beautiful areas in the states that are popular travel destinations for those coming here on vacation, and trust me, those international tourists stand out every bit as much as I'm sure American tourists do when they travel abroad.

So what's with all the hate? Or maybe my perception is wrong and this is as simple as being a means to an end...more viewers/more clicks? I would love to hear from others, in particular Europeans and those in the UK to hear your thoughts and have a rational discussion about what perhaps might be a miss-perception on my part, or a real dislike that others have towards Americans and American culture.

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The original was posted on /r/aitah by /u/bbrownbrown on 2023-07-17 20:56:01+00:00.

I ran my own business for a few years. I didn't know what I was doing, I didn't keep good notes, I was very ill for most of 6 years, and I spent $ willy nilly when I had it (part of my illness) so now that I'm feeling better and my life is more manageable, I am trying to pick up the pieces.

Credit cards in collections that I don't even remember taking out, mountains of unopened mail, unpaid bills, and worst of all, backtaxes. We used his father's accountant each year. My ex paid his taxes with his hourly fast food wages. I paid for pretty much everything in the house, and at the end of the year we would get a $3000 voucher to be sent to the IRS with a check. I never had $3000 sitting around so I saw the first one and put it away in a drawer and nothing bad happened. The next year, I was sicker, the year after, even sicker than that!

By the time I started getting my life back in order, we had married filing jointly backtaxes of 2016, 2017, and 2018, and I filed single for 2019. We were separated in May 2020 and his house had a lein on it bc of the taxes, and they were ready to start taking wages and freezing bank accounts. When I called the IRS, they told me I would have to make a payment plan for $10k and they would also take tax returns to pay towards the balance until it was current again.

I set up a payment plan of $170 a month, more than I could afford, and it barely made a dent with all the fees and interest. It felt impossible. I still got 2016 taken care of on my own, he and I are still jointly responsible for 2017 and 2018, roughly $6k. I have nothing in my name that the government can come after, not a car or house or anything. Now I save for and pay taxes at the end of the year instead of getting my return taken, and I'm making payments towards my 2019 single balance.

2017 and 2018 are not being paid at all bc he has repeatedly said he is outraged at having to clean up my mess. We have zero contact now (his preference) and I got him to make $105 payments for a few months, but he stopped and since he gets an hourly wage, they are going to continue to take his tax return every year until it's paid off. His family chimed in that I should take care of the $ and it's not my ex's fault I "forgot" to pay my taxes. Again, I was very ill. What is his excuse?

When I am done paying 2019, I will start to make minimum payments to 2017 to keep them away from my bank account. But I know it won't really touch the principle. Is it a shitty move to potentially leave my ex with the bill? The IRS said they don't care who pays, they just want their money, and if they want to, the can burn your life to the ground. I tried to be civil but he doesn't want my help.

AITAH? Part of the reason I don't think I'm completely to blame is bc once, while living in the city, he got a parking ticket. He ignored it and kept parking there. $10,000 in parking tickets later, his parents had to take out a loan to pay it off bc his car was in their name.

EDIT: thanks for even the mean feedback, I can see now that maybe I'm just being bitter and vindictive. He wasn't the perfect husband either. But in this instance, yes, I'm the jerk. Maybe I'll revisit the matter when I'm less angry.

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The original was posted on /r/aitah by /u/Maximum-Dealer-6208 on 2023-07-17 18:54:10+00:00.

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The original was posted on /r/aitah by /u/Remote-Air-1700 on 2023-07-17 20:46:24+00:00.

Explanation- coming up I have a family gathering which has all my dads side. It consists of 4 houses and my grandparents ( 2 kids and 2 parents in each household). All of them apart from one aunt and her son have been so kind and try their best to remember my name and my pronouns. I have a nickname that my sister gave me when we were toddlers and it stuck. I let my household and my dads side use the nickname with the exception of the aunt and cousin. They have hated me since i was young and when i came out they purposely got me “feminine gifts” for Christmas. They purposely comment on my body and my insecurities. They stare me dead in the eyes and call me my deadname and i respond. They have lost the privilege to call me my family nickname. I am and will be jamie to them. I wont answer them or correct them because they have been corrected and told thousands of times. There is so much more 😭

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The original was posted on /r/aitah by /u/uawkwardakari on 2023-07-18 01:17:14+00:00.

I(17 f) work at a restaurant. It's small but usually pretty busy, but I chose to be in the back, doing dishes and cooking. Ever since I was little, I've had problems with speech, which led to severe social anxiety. This is my first ever job and I've been there for about 2 ish months. I'm still getting used to everyone. It takes me longer due to past trauma with strangers. There's this guy at work who has been antagonizing me, I had one shift where he needed to train me, but I messed up a sandwich order, and I didn't serve it. I fixed the mistake, he went on the other side with the other employees and I heard him call me a dumba$$. I wasn't familiar with making the sandwiches.That whole night, he talked so much crap and thought he was slick. I heard it all. I get annoyed. He tells me to clean while orders start piling up.This dude Flirting with the girl on pizzas, so i stop what im doing, and I do all the orders,he gets mad at me. He told my boss that I cut bread without placing it on the cutting board, and same as cucumbers? I've only cut cucumbers with that guy working with me. I used the cutting board. So, is this guy trying to make me look stupid? The same day, I heard the guy complain about people working only two days next week, I was the person he was talking about. I asked for 3 days off because I had a colonoscopy. It sucked btw. So i get more annoyed because this man is just assuming and not minding his business. I have stomach issues. Yesterday I was at AT&T and my boss was there and saw me saying, "Hey, you going to try speaking today?". Does he not know how antagonizing that sounds?. I talk at work when I NEED to, I don't think I'm better than anyone. I just struggle with holding conversations and talking to new people. It makes me uncomfortable that they keep on pushing it. Once I'm comfortable, I'll open up. But you can't expect me to get to that point while pushing it. The other shift manager understood why I was really quiet. I actually opened up to her because she didn't push me. She encouraged me when I learned new things. I cleaned the grill for the first time the other day, and she was so excited about how clean it was for my first try. She made all the employees look at it. It was funny. I also had a shift yesterday, and he was on pizzas while I was on the grill. I heard him say my name more than 5 times. My mother said he might have a crush on me, I told her that would be very weird... He's in his 20s at least, and I'm also a lesbian. I glared at him a few times after hearing him get mad that I wouldn't talk. I talked when orders were ready, and if I had questions, other than that, I was doing my job. He kept the shi talking for the 5 hours I was there but what really upset me is that he left this dude around me age doing pizzas all by his self when on the other side of the restaurant in the back he's on his phone. This guy gets shift manager and thinks he's better than everyone. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/aitah by /u/Soft_Bowler_368 on 2023-07-18 01:07:10+00:00.

I F20 and my partner M20 have been together for 6 years, we’re very happy and healthy but my sister F18 has recently started to make “attempts” (I don’t know what to call them) at my boyfriend.

Everything was fine, she was friendly and we all got along until about 6 months ago when she broke up with her boyfriend. It started with her just increasing texting him, then it went to calling him mostly just complaining and talking to him. But in the last 2 months she calls him almost every day (he doesn’t answer most of the time because he’s uncomfortable). Asks him for rides every day to different places. Which is fine but she talks about her sex life, talks about how she “craves male attention” and talks about all the different guys that want her. Every time he takes her somewhere she tells him that she usually gives a bj for rides and she has no money but he just says he doesn’t want anything (she doesn’t really ask flat out if he wants one but he takes it as a nudge nudge that she will).

She always wants to come see him, and when she comes over he’s been hiding in the garage lately but she goes in to talk about all the new guys that have been hitting her up. She has also been recently texting him at late hours asking just to drive around and talk (obviously he says no) but she pressures him every time and keeps asking.

She recently even told me that my boyfriend said that her, me and him could tent together at the events in agusta in the fall. This made me uncomfortable with all the stuff she’s been doing lately so I said our tent couldn’t fit a third person and she replied she didn’t have a tent (she does). I brought this up to my boyfriend he said that she could tent the same area but never said she could actually sleep with us because he’s uncomfortable with her. But for some reason she seems to think we’re all sleeping together.

So what do you think? Is this crossing a line? Should I ask her to stop?

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The original was posted on /r/aitah by /u/throwawry_account on 2023-07-17 21:40:07+00:00.

I spend time with my daughters, their husbands and children every few months. They also come to my house for the year-end holidays. On the other hand, I see my son and his wife and kids once a year but it has been six years since they last joined us for Christmas. I really want to gather all my kids and their families for Christmas this year so I started by talking to my son this early on.

At first, he made the same excuses as before why he doesn’t fly to us such as there’s no nonstop flight to my city, he doesn’t want to subject the little toddlers to potential flight cancellations due to inclement weather, etc. Upon pressing further, I learned it’s his wife who refuses to do the holidays with us if the celebrations are hosted in my house.

Of course that hurt my feelings so I begged my son to put his wife on the phone. She only ever answers my text messages and never my phone calls but I needed to talk to her this time. It was a very curt call which ended in her telling me to expect an email. Finally several hours later, I checked my email and it shows a long list of the times I “overstepped boundaries,” per my son’s wife. Some of the items on the list are as old as about 10 years ago and honestly, I do not have recollection on most of these.

Some of the things mentioned are me trying to name their boys when they were born, allegedly I blamed my son’s wife for the decline in his fashion choices, me allegedly telling his wife I was disappointed they didn’t own a house and kept renting in Los Angeles, etc. There’s a list with dates and more. As far as I’m concerned, I’ve only been welcoming to my daughter-in-law, cook her favorites when they come visit on non-holidays, made their stay comfortable, and so on.

I texted my daughter-in-law and admitted that I don’t recall most of the things she emailed and alleged that I’ve done. I called my son and asked him to back me up and reassure his wife that I love them all and maybe she just misinterpreted what I’ve been saying.

AITA for not having any memory of allegedly mistreated my wife’s son? How do I go from here? It’s hard to consider apologizing for things I don’t recall doing or saying. I shared with one of my daughter’s the email and she said that his sister-in-law is just looking for situations to document and to let them be if they don’t want to join us for the holidays.

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The original was posted on /r/aitah by /u/Chongyboiiii on 2023-07-17 21:25:44+00:00.

AITA, 25m here and my best friend 24m have both been seeing two girls who are also best friends. Me and this girl got in to a relationship pretty quickly and have known each other just under two months which I understand is fast.

My friend has been seeing and speaking to the other girl the same amount of time but they are taking it slower which is totally understandable. As a group of four we have had small parties and been on activities as a group frequently

This evening my friend came over to my place and mentioned that a different girl I had been sleeping with at work a long while back (that went quite sour) was cute and wanted me to give him her Snapchat even though I blocked her ages ago. I refused and he called me a bad friend and said you’re choosing women before mates.

The thing is he stated to this girl than he’s been talking too that she wasn’t able to sleep with other men while they was seeing each other and if she did it would be over.

I refused to give him her snap and said it’s not fair on the girl because it’s hypocritical but he claims it’s okay because he’s single. He says I’m a shit friend for protecting the girl over knowing him for years but I think I did the right thing? I want total plausible deniability because despite them both being single it’s not fair on her.