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The original was posted on /r/aitah by /u/Excellent-Record1362 on 2023-07-18 01:16:32+00:00.
I had just gotten out of the hospital for alcohol poisoning and according to my ex wife she had a psychotic break because of a mix of my drinking problem, lack of sleep from having two new puppies we were fostering to adopt one of them, and being on week 5 of a new psychiatric medication (wellbutrin).
I do admit I have a drinking problem- I have cirrhosis so I can't deny it. I'm 30 years old so I did drink a lot to end up with chirrosis.
My POV is that she should have just left when I was drinking instead of worrying about cleaning up after me if I shit the bed or threw up on the floor. Her POV is that she can't leave me alone when I'm drunk because she's worried I'll fall and crack my head open or something. She also said she can't just not clean up after me because that means living in a house full of body fluids and broken bottles.
She's left jobs because of this after I told her multiple times not to. She is a waitress so her shifts are usually 4 hours long and I can be fine for 4 hours alone. She dropped out of school because of this which again I told her not to. That my problems are mine and her leaving jobs and school and trying to help me was making it worse.
Back to the night of the "psychotic break." I left the hospital against medical advice. I went at her insistence because I threw up black stuff and pooped out black stuff and she said it could be a sign of an internal bleed (she ended up being right.) I found out I had cirrhosis too. I left because I felt the doctors weren't treating me right and I felt someone messing around with my butt. She says they were probably wiping me or I hallucinate it from alcohol withdrawals. I'm sure it happened.
I have a bottle of xanax I keep for emergencies and she ate half the bottle. When I came home from the hospital she was out of it, which I would find out later was a suicide attempt.
My mom was there cleaning out the fridge and making dinner and threw away some of my wife's left overs. My mom asked my wife for help cleaning out the fridge and my wife kept saying no because she was "bleeding out of her ass" (she has endometriosis that spread to her bowels.)
My mom is pushy and kept asking her to help clean the fridge. My wife walked off to bed but then came back out again later for some food and saw my mom threw away her left overs.
She started screaming and me my mom and my dad all tried to leave but my wife followed us outside and started to choke my mom. My dad ended up head butting my wife.
It's been months since then and I've quit drinking and my skin and eyes are no longer yellow. I'm doing well now and want nothing to do with my ex wife.
My ex wife has begged me to understand that she was on a new medication that can cause psychosis. She supposedly believes my mom was trying to hurt her first but I don't believe it. And even if it's true I didn't sign up for that. She also attempted to punch me in the nose and admits that was just pure rage.
She was mad I left the hospital against medical advice. I've been to the hospital 8 times this year and she said she looks forward to my hospital visits so she can finally get some peace and live in a clean house without my poop throw up and pee all over it.
She also says she hadn't gotten any sleep because she was "trying to protect the puppies from you." I wanted them to sleep in the bed with us and she wouldn't let me worried that I'd roll over them and kill them in my sleep which I would never do. So she locked me out of our bedroom and wake up every 2 hours to take them out by herself because she didn't trust me to help her.
She also said everyone has a limit and she should have divorced me sooner for my drinking problem. I do admit my drinking problem was severe but I was never violent just annoying and obnoxious.
She claims I would shut her laptop while she was working on timed tests and I'm the reason she dropped out of school and left jobs and that I was ruining her life, so I don't even know why she wants to be with me now.
She said she was sick of cleaning up literal human shit every night from me pooping the bed, which I couldn't help, and I never asked her to wipe for me but she did anyway claiming she didn't want me to get a rash and she knew I had a drinking problem when she married me and it was her duty to take care of me at my worst.
My POV is that I would never hurt the puppies, and if she felt she was getting overwhelmed she should have left instead of letting herself get to the point of a mental break down.
We all have break downs sometimes but hers are violent. She choked my mom. She threw a brick through my car window and claimed it was because I locked her phone in there.
I didn't lock her phone in my car, and I'm unsure if that's an excuse or if she really was psychotic from her new meds.
Two of my best friends told me they can't be friends with me anymore over this and have taken her side. I doubt she told them that she strangled my mom. She got to tell them her side of the story first.
She said she did tell my friends that she choked my mom but that my mom lunged at her first and she thought she was going to hurt her.
She also says she never would have done any of this if it weren't for the fact she was on a new psychiatric med mixed with another psychiatric med she didn't have a prescription for.
That I wasn't supposed to even be home when she was on the xanax trying to kill herself. That I wouldn't let her sleep because I'd wake her up asking to see the puppies or to take me to the gas station to get more beer. That there was a lot of factors I should be more understanding of instead of leaving her at her lowest.
She's also mad at me that I didn't take her to the hospital.
I looked up the milligrams of xanax she took and knew she'd be fine.
But she took them with alcohol and says she also looked it up and should have died. But she didn't.
Her family said she is lucky to be alive. Her brother says her "freak out" was scary (I called her family and they came as we were leaving) but that he can't believe I am leaving her after everything she's done for me.
That she deserves one fuck up compared to my many. But none of my fuck ups were violent. I don't care what her excuse is.
Lots of people take meds and don't get sleep and don't do what she did.
But two of my friends left me over this so I'm unsure. My family is on my side.
I tried to present the situation as unbiased as possible and admit that I have my faults too, I understand I put her under a lot of stress and she's on new meds but I still think she over reacted and I'm right to divorce her.
My dad and mom say she is crazy and the med changes and suicide attempt and lack of sleep are just excuses.
My ex wife is upset that she helped me through my alcoholism and only when I almost die and "finally decide to quit" that I divorce her, she says she got the worst of me and drove her to her breaking point and then abandoned her in her own time of need.
She said she loves me more than anything and that's why she put up with everything for so long and that she would switch meds and we could do counseling together. AITAH for not forgiving my ex?