Am I the Asshole?

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/nunyabizz0000 on 2023-06-27 21:28:32+00:00.

So I had an employee come to me to let me know she was pregnant. My response, “okay”. She was taken back from my lack of interest and enthusiasm, and fellow employees also seemed bothered by my response.

So AITA bc I didn’t ask more questions, or congratulate the person on the pregnancy. I wasn’t rude, or mean… just very matter-the-fact.

EDIT: to clarify my management mindset… I care more about my people than the companies Bottomline. I believe work is not the most important thing in the world. I made and will make all the proper accommodations when the time comes. I aim to have the employees stress free and to spend the minimal time here while providing the maximum compensation.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Pleasant_Set5859 on 2023-06-27 21:18:08+00:00.

I (30M) own my house, girlfriend (29F) rents an apartment with roommates.

We have been dating for 2 years, I suggested that she move in with me.

She refused, saying that she wants us to rent a new place together and I should rent out my house, because she doesn't want to live in my house. I told her I would let her change what she likes, but she says there is a difference between me letting her and her having the right to do it, which I think is ridiculous.

She asked if my parents or brother who live 4 hours away wanted to visit for a few weeks would she be able to veto that. I said of course not, it's my house and my family can visit me. She then proceeded to announce "this is exactly what I was talking about" like she proved some point. She has since not been replying to my texts.

AITA? It makes no sense for me to rent an apartment if I have my own house.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Bubbly_Contract3899 on 2023-06-27 20:24:35+00:00.

I am currently nearly full term (35 weeks) and the conversation of what to name our daughter has been brought up a few times this week and it’s always ended in an argument.

The name of our daughter was decided quite early on in my pregnancy and it was my partners idea for the name choice, she is being named after my partners friend who sadly passed away while serving in the British Army. I wasn’t too sure on the name when I first heard it but it did grow on me after a few weeks and he also turned down every single name i mentioned, when I say close to 20 different names and he didn’t like any of them he was pretty much set on naming her after his late friend. The idea of middle names got brought up and he straight away said that his mum would be happy if we gave her his mothers middle name and I didn’t hate that idea but what I didn’t like is how he said it like he expected me to agree. I’ve never had an issue with his side of the family they are nice and friendly people very easy to get along with never had any issues, I told my partner that either I picked her middle name or she didn’t have one because he choose her first name, and also I’m not a huge fan of the middle name in question but that’s not the point. He straight away turned it down and said his mum told him how happy she would be if our daughter got her middle name and I just don’t agree with that I also gave him another opinion our daughter can have his mums middle name but she gets my last name and again he didn’t agree and then again I stated well she just doesn’t get one then if we cannot agree and he said how his whole family has a tradition where everybody must have a middle name. Am I being responsible with my arguments or am I not being responsible whatsoever??

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Fit-Conclusion-1119 on 2023-06-27 20:41:06+00:00.

I 27f got married to my husband 29m last week. I asked my friend from university Ava 26f to be a bridesmaid. I grew up living with my parents and extended family quite religiously and dressed modestly as my family were very strict and traditional. While I don't agree with most of their ideas, I do follow them to avoid arguments. My parents don't share the same ideas and are less religious and have always supported me, but do ask me to respect our extended family's policies on dressing and culture.

Ava is a very passionate feminist and I know she wouldn't agree with some of my family's policies, which is why before the wedding I told her to please not say anything at the wedding and if it upsets her she can always stay closer to our group of friends. She agreed and said she was coming to support me.

I picked peach as a dress colour for all my bridesmaids and told them to pick the style they felt comfortable in, as I didn't specify a particular dress or shade of peach and gave them all 4 months notice. I only asked for the dress to be modest as my wedding would include some of my extended family. Ava said she was getting her dress custom made and never showed me a picture as it was still getting made. At the wedding, she comes in wearing a very tight, revealing peach dress. My MOH said she would handle it and kicked her out. Ava has said that the dress was her way of expressing herself. She is not talking to me anymore, but I genuinely don't think I am in the wrong.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Early-Tree-8225 on 2023-06-27 20:31:35+00:00.

I (45f) have two daughters a NT 18 year old who will be going to college in the fall. And I have an autistic high needs nonverbal daughter (16f).

Due to severe behavioral issues we had to make the gut wrenching decision to place her in a group home when she was only 12. However we bring her home every other weekend, her birthday, and all holidays. She's done a lot better but still isn't perfect and dare u admit can be a handful.

It took me a while to catch on to this "trick" but I've been noticing since my eldest daughter's 18th birthday 9 months ago she has been "busy" (plans with friends, boyfriend, picking up shifts at work etc, citing that'shes 18 and can come and go as she pleases "doesnt have to listen" to us etc) always seem to happen the weekends her sister is home, and on weekends (now weekdays as well since it's summer break) when her sister is not home she is mysteriously around more.

I told her how important family is for people with developmental disabilities; and since her father and I are paying for her college in full we expect her to be apart of her sisters life if she wants us to continue paying for her college. So since it's every other weekend she has to spend atleast one of those weekends at home with the family and spend time with her sister, I noticed her avoiding her sister and that's not okay with us. And if she refuses we will not pay for her college.

AITA?

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/EmptyPossession4068 on 2023-06-27 19:23:43+00:00.

This screams helicopter dad or even AH but here I am regardless. And please, if you have any idea of what it sounds like my son might have, please please please let me know in the comments. His doctor won't evaluate him without going through the school and school is over.

My wife and I have my niece (10) every day from 6am to 4pm while her mother sleeps from working the overnight. We have 2 kids (12f and 6m). Now, as you've gathered, my son has issues. He is so quick to anger. Like he has absolutely no emotional regulation whatsoever. He's off the walls entirely. He's always running, jumping, climbing on things, hiding under things, making animal noises (like dinosaur noises), etc. Even if he's on his tablet. He will be super involved with his tablet (the only thing that keeps him calm) but he will make squawking or screeching sounds randomly. Like stimming! I guess. But like, even if he is having a fantastic day, all it takes is one super minor trigger and all bets are off. My wife is a fantastic mom. She can usually calm him no problem. But my niece is absolutely a trigger. She purposely makes him feel like he isn't included or she doesn't want him around, but she will make sure to manipulate my daughter in to not including her brother too. It's been causing one too many freak outs.

Yesterday I absolutely had enough because I have openly told my niece to cut the shit on more than one occasion and she won't. She will wait until I walk away to start shit talking me to my daughter and then will get an attitude and start bossing my daughter around and still not include my son at all. My daughter is sweet as a peach without this girl around and there's no issues usually. But yesterday my niece wouldn't stop so I told her to stay away from my kids. Told her to go play by herself. I told my sister what happened when she picked her kid up and she was pissed at me because "it's not my kids fault that she can't tolerate your son and his behaviors. You're putting too much on her." I told her that it's one thing to not have tolerance and a completely separate issue when it comes to being a bullying asshole. She said I can no longer watch her kid (good) but now my family is ganging up on me.

ETA: my daughter doesn't like my niece, nor does she want to hang out with her (she's asked me several times to not have my niece here) but even if she did, that has nothing to do with my post. Please stick to the question. Maybe I should have clarified more: my son does not even need to be near my niece. She has gone out of her way several times to go to him while he's on his tablet on the couch to poke at him and cause tension. My son DOES have issues but he's not always the one causing them.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Educational-Bat3496 on 2023-06-27 17:58:45+00:00.

I (19F) am a student in college. I moved away immediately from home at 18 into college dorms. My college is only about 2 hours away, but in a different state. I usually come visit my parents every weekend if I’m not working, and i come home for the summers. Here’s some background on my cat, Lucky. Lucky was a feral cat I rescued from our very wooded backyard, and I instantly grew attached to him. One of the hardest things I had to do was to leave him while I went off to college, but I knew it was best for him as he had already adjusted to my house and the other animals inside my house. Here’s where the story starts.

I was heading home on my two hour trek this weekend, and as I walked into my house, I instantly called for my cat Lucky. He usually comes running to me after entering the door, but today he did not do that. I looked quite literally everywhere. All of his favorite hiding places, his cat trees, my bed, literally everywhere. I then went to go ask my parents where he may be, and that’s where I met my parents at the kitchen table looking upset and very guilty. Instantly I asked what was wrong, what happened, if everyone was okay, etc. My parents then proceeded to tell me that my cat, Lucky, has died earlier that week. Appalled, I asked why they had not called me, texted me, or even made a mention at any point. They told me it was a very hard conversation to have over the phone and that they didn’t want to disrupt me during my “busy season”. Instantly I was upset and I ended up balling while yelling at them. I was seriously so upset, especially because they know I would have dropped anything I was doing, to drive home and see him in his last few days. After I had calmed down a little bit, I asked what he had died of, and all they said was old age and that they didn’t do an autopsy. That confused me because my cat was only 6 years old, and he hadn’t had any previous health issues or concerns. Slowly I tried to accept the fact that he was gone, but then I had to ask the most important question. Did they cremate him? My parents knew I wanted him cremated so I could have a type of jewelry made, or just some type of memorial. It was very important to me that they listened to my wishes, but that idea went completely downhill when my parents looked at eachother, and then at me, and shook their heads. Now this would’ve threw me over the edge, but as I went to leave out of anger, they yelled that it was just a joke and he’s still here. Instead of walking back to them, i just walked out. As I went to drive around, I got an abundance of texts from both my parents asking me to come home.

They now are saying that I am petty and being soft.

What do i do now? AITA for ghosting my parents and not coming home?

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/apple_blossom320 on 2023-06-27 17:15:55+00:00.

My boyfriend of eight years got into a car accident this summer. He was in a coma for several weeks before he passed away from the injuries. He was my first love and soulmate and I'm still grieving and finding it hard to get through each day.

His birthday is next Friday and his friends and family are planning to give him a heavenly birthday party. My boyfriend was a happy and cheerful guy who loved to have fun and was very social with everyone, and so his friends want to throw a real college type party with loud music and drinks and dancing. I don't feel like I'm ready for that just yet, it's only been a month since his passing and it still feels like I haven't woken up from the nightmare. I’m still not sure what’s better, to be distracted or let myself sit in the sadness. All I know is that I want to spend the day alone. I want to keep things simple and revisit some of our favorite places or do something we used to do together. I want to bake him his favorite cake, maybe look at some photos and light him a candle. I want to visit his grave and tell him how much I still love him and miss him.

I've told his friends and family that I don't feel comfortable with the idea of having a party like that, that it's way too soon for me. I' told them that they can have a party if they want, but that I won't be there. They argued that my boyfriend wouldn't want me to be sad all the time, that he’d want me to have fun and throw him a big and noisy party, and that I'm just selfish and disrespectful.

WIBTA for not going?

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Comfortable-Air-1140 on 2023-06-27 15:50:32+00:00.

My (m24) girlfriend (f24) recently became interested in photography after being gifted a camera. At first I thought it was great she found a new hobby and was supportive of it, but things have gotten a bit much.

Whenever we go out anywhere, she brings her camera and stops every minute to take photos of flowers, people's houses, street lamps, rubbish, literally anything. It gets annoying because I always have to wait for her to stop taking photos, or if I walk on eventually, she acts like she doesn't even notice and makes no effort to walk alongside me. It's also pretty embarrassing when she's stood outside someone's house for five minutes trying to get a perfect shot, like if someone did that outside my house I'd find it creepy or think they were planning a robbery.

She also is trying out street photography where you take candid shots of people. I understand it's a legitimate type of photography but it makes me uncomfortable when she takes photos of random strangers when she's with me. She is not very discreet about it and when I ask if she's concerned about people knowing she's taken their photo, she just says she's legally allowed to do so. That may be so but I find it a bit rude or weird to do it without their permission especially when she posts the photos on an instagram account.

I told my girlfriend what I thought the other day because I just wanted to run errands with her without always stopping so she can take photos. I told her there's nothing wrong with her hobby but that its getting a bit annoying when we are out together. She got really upset, saying she's found something she's passionate about and wishes I took more of an interest. She also thought I was mocking her which wasn't my intention.

She is being withdrawn and distant and I feel I was a bit harsh. I don't want to stop her from doing something she enjoys or put her down but at the same time it was just getting a bit frustrating. Am I an unsupportive asshole?

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Disastrous-Tar0 on 2023-06-27 14:13:35+00:00.

My (23f) friends and I had a day out at the beach on Saturday. We each brought our own lunch plus barbecue stuff for dinner and snacks to share throughout the day.

The problem was my lunch. I brought leftover rabbit curry (in my cuisine we either grill rabbit meat or make it into a curry) and rice. One of my friends said it looks very good and asked for a taste.

I told her it’s rabbit, and she said she didn’t want to anymore. After she said that, one of the other girls said that she’d like to taste some because she’s never had rabbit before so I give her some. She really liked it.

But my friend started saying she was taken aback by the rabbit meat because she lost her pet rabbit recently so she wasn’t mentally prepared to face someone eating it. She was also upset that I was “passing it around” (I only gave some to the one person that wanted it) like it’s “some sort of delicacy” when the rabbit “could have been someone’s pet” (it wasn’t).

I said I’ve been eating it as a kid, and it’s quite a normal dish where I’m from. It’s not really a “delicacy”. We moved past the topic but the mood was still a bit off. She only spoke one liners to me for the rest of the day.

I messaged her yesterday and she said she’s upset with me because I doubled down and said rabbit is a normal thing to eat instead of sympathising with her.

I think she’s just really upset about the death of her pet but I don’t want to act like I did something horrible when I don’t believe I did.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/CarrAndHisWarCrimes on 2023-06-27 14:41:32+00:00.

I love my wife dearly but a very common cause of tension in our house is deciding what to have for dinner. Last night was one of the more emotive of the occasions and led to a minor falling out.

From the moment my wife got home until the eventual climax of the evening our family (and by that I mean my wife) had two dilemmas, 1. she was hungry and 2. She has no clue what she wanted.

As per standard operating procedure I went through a list of dishes I could make her with the ingredients in our home, from shredded chicken pittas, to homemade pastas I went through a myriad of dishes and cuisines (all of which I know my wife likes) for all to be met with the same constructive feedback of “no”.

I resorted to family protocol two, by opening uber-eats and browsing all the takeaways available, this was met by the same level of useful feedback.

The time is now 20:30 and we’ve both descended into the realms of hanger. My wife decided to take it nuclear and drop the “I’m not hungry. I don’t want anything” (this is a lie)

At this point my wife has retired to the bedroom and I have retreated to kitchen to throw something together to save our marriage.

This is where the true dilemma begins to arise. I found some Korean style chicken in the freezer so decided to make an egg fried rice vegetable medley to accompany it. In the process of this I used two eggs. However the eggs I used were “the nice farm shop ones” and not the other eggs available in the house. Which has left my wife with only 10 “nice farmshop eggs” for the week.

When I brought the meal up to my wife she was initially quite excited. Until she saw the golden glow of the streaks of egg buried amongst the rice.

My wife : “You’ve used the good eggs haven’t you ?”

Me : “Yes. Is that ok ?”

I could sense from the tone and my wife’s body language that this was in fact not ok.

We ate our dinner in silence and that was the end of our evening. She was still angry when I left for work this morning.

AITA ?

EDIT: My wife has now apologised and accepted she was a bit unreasonable. Thank you for the support, and thank you for the people that seemed to believe my marriage was truly on the line for an Egg 🥚

I’d also like to thank all the people that seem to think the opening line of “a common cause of tension” means I have this argument every day of my life. I do not. My wife is usually a very lovely lady. We all have bad days..

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Ok_Contact8682 on 2023-06-27 17:30:07+00:00.

MIL is very, very, very in to outdated gender norms. Everything is either for girls or for boys. It drives us nuts and we (Me 38F, husband 42M, kids 9F and 11F) tell her so every time it comes up. During our weekly family FaceTime, she asked why our dog was wearing a pink color (full disclosure, it’s red but quite faded). My husband said “it’s red” and we moved on.

The kids and I think we should treat Willem to a hot pink, rhinestone encrusted number replete with bows and gems and whatever else so he can look extra handsome for our next video chat. My husband thinks this is dumb and petty but our dog likes to look fabulous and I just want the satisfaction of seeing the disgusted look on her face when the dog shows off his new bling.

So the question is…WIBTA if I indulged my kids and got the dog a tacky collar with jewels and sparkles just to annoy MIL?

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/United-Afternoon-595 on 2023-06-27 15:22:51+00:00.

I 33f have a friend Max 34m who is a single dad to Ava 6f. Ava's mum is not in the picture and gave full custody and rights to Max before she was even born. I agreed to help out Max with Ava and am very involved in her life. I will admit, I used to like Max which is mainly why I agreed, but it was just a crush, and I got over it pretty soon after but still help out with Ava. I get on very well with Ava and she calls me her Aunt.

Since then, I got a more demanding job and have a fiance who I moved in with. His place is far from Max's and I find it harder to make time to meet Ava but still try my best to see her.

Now I am pregnant and my pregnancy is high risk. My fiance and I agreed that I would take off time until the baby is born and would think about going back later. I currently work freelance and pick and choose what projects to take on. I told Max for the time being I would like to reduce the amount of times I see Ava as I can't keep up with her in my condition. Max tried to negotiate dropping off Ava at mine, but me and my fiance firmly said no, he works long hours and I can't be there for her one to one. Max and I still share the same friend group, so i will see Ava sometimes socially, so it's not like I have cut her out my life.

Max is calling me TA for not helping look after Ava and that I am essentially abandoning her and I have put him in the situation of explaining this to her. I feel bad for not being able to be around Ava as much, but currently have very little energy and have stuck to my decision.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Savings-Basil2035 on 2023-06-27 15:16:21+00:00.

My SIL is very much so the "if there's meds to help, take all of them" type. This ranges from OTC meds to narcotics. The type who tries giving you her prescribed tramadol if you say you have high anxiety that day and gets offended if you say no because she "would never give you anything that would hurt you". I've gotten in to it with her so many times because she thinks I'm ignorant for refusing to take meds if I don't need to. So, needless to say, she's had her kid heavily medicated since she was 5 (she's now 12) for her ADHD and if her kid so much as exhibits a single sign of energy, she's calling the doctor to up the dose because it's "not working anymore".

Now, since our son started school he has been off the walls and getting in to trouble for not sitting still and disrupting class. The school pushed for an evaluation and we agreed to it no issue. But where it was so close to the end of the school year and they kept pushing it out, the evaluation was never completed. We just pushed it out of our heads at this point because it's summer and made the decision to have him evaluated a month or two prior to returning to school so next year he will be all set to go with no issues. But where it is summer, our kids have been hanging out with SILs kid a lot, since the yard is conjoined. SIL has mentioned to me several times that I need to get my son medicated because he's "too much of a handful" and he "needs help". Most of these comments are made following my son screaming through the yards while the kids are playing tag or when he randomly stops what he's doing to start dancing. He does stim a lot so he squawks and randomly starts singing made up songs but it's in no way being over the top disruptive for a mid summer afternoon and it in no way affects anyone other than my SIL. He's just playing.

Well, SIL came here yesterday and said she needed to express a some "tough love" and basically flew off about how we weren't helping our kid because we "refuse" to medicate him and help him regulate his emotions. I simply got up from the table and said "we are done here, you can leave". She kept pushing and she wasn't listening to my husband, who kept telling her to mind her business. So I said "just because you are a medication queen who would rather see your kid doped up rather than handle her does not mean we are those parents. Leave." My MIL called and said I was a "fucking cunt" for bashing my SIL for "doing right by her kid and is trying her best".

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/aitacelebnudes on 2023-06-27 15:40:06+00:00.

My roommate used to hook up with someone a few years ago, and that someone has since gone on to become a celebrity. Roommate still has nude photos of this person saved on their phone from back in those days, and likes to show them to people as proof while bragging about having hooked up with this person.

Last week Roommate had their phone out and was showing the nudes off to somebody, and during the resulting conversation everyone started talking about how this celebrity has never done a nude performance/photoshoot/etc and so basically Roommate has the only known nude photos of this person in existence.

For the next couple of days after that, Roommate kept mentioning off and on that they could probably make a lot of money if they sold their photos to DeuxMoi or whoever. I kept telling Roommate that they definitely shouldn’t do that because it was basically revenge porn, and Roommate kept saying that they wouldn’t actually do it but then bringing it up again later. I didn’t like how much Roommate was talking about this and was concerned that they were actually going to leak this person’s nudes.

Finally the day before yesterday after Roommate mentioned it again, I asked if I could see their phone to do something and when they gave it to me I deleted the photos. Roommate later noticed that the nudes were gone from the album and flipped shit on me for deleting them, saying it was none of my business because it’s not like the situation would affect my life at all. It also turned out not to matter because apparently Roommate also has the nudes backed up someplace else, so all I really did was cause a fight.

Roommate has not spoken to me all day yesterday or this morning and is still mad at me for getting into their phone. I still completely thought I was in the right, but when I complained to my friends a couple of them said that I really should’ve just stayed out of it and that I can’t really blame Roommate for being mad that I went through their phone because that’s never okay.

But seriously AITA?

EDIT to clarify two things:

1- Roommate never claimed to be joking about selling the nudes, they were first talking about selling them but then saying that they'd never actually be able to go through with doing it, but never said that they weren't serious about considering it.

2 - the nudes were originally consensual.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Human-Advertising-64 on 2023-06-27 16:21:41+00:00.

My gf and I took a vacation with our mutual friend and her boyfriend. We rented a car for the 4 of us and her boyfriend insisted on driving since he's driven in Europe before. We of course agreed to split expenses such as the cost of the rental, gas, mileage, etc.

A few days in, he was backing out of a parking spot and forgot that he was parked next to a concrete pillar and started turning the wheel. He hit the pillar and side of the car took some pretty severe damage.

We dropped off the car (it was one of those contactless services) and about a week later he got an invoice for 2000 euros for the damages. He wants us to split the cost with him and I've been refusing.

And just some context on the way he drives: Everytime he backs out, he puts it in reverse and slams on the gas and does a mini burnout...so we hit the pillar with some serious speed. If he was reversing normally, he would've had time to react or at least minimize how much damage was done. It was completely his fault, caused by his negligence.

I told him if a rock hit the windshield or he hit a random pothole and blew a tire...I'd split the damages with him because those are freak accidents.

He's obviously not happy about this and has since tried to pressure my GF to pay instead. AITA here for refusing to pay for damages?

Edit: forgot the insurance info. We got insurance and the damage was enough to max out the deductible.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/No-Astronomer-1217 on 2023-06-27 16:04:31+00:00.

My(24f) boyfriend, “Dan” is a chef. Because of this I end up doing most of the cooking for the two of us when we have dinner together at one of ours apartments. I’m not a professional by any means though.

My family makes a big deal out of birthdays. Every birthday has all 3 of my siblings and my parents present, every year. Each of us has our own food that we have every year on our birthday. I’ve been having this same food on my birthday since I was 5.

The past couple years I’ve had Dan make it for me. It’s a bit of a complicated dish and there’s a couple steps I can’t do myself.

My birthday is coming up in a couple weeks, and this year falls on a Friday. When I started making plans and everything for it, and just double checked that Dan had Friday night off and could make the dinner, he said he couldn’t make it this year. I asked why not and he said since it has meat in it he can’t eat it on a Friday(he is Christian). I told him he could eat something else but he refused to make it altogether and said I could either find another dish for him to make, he could make it without meat, or we could celebrate the next day.

I didn’t like any of these options, my family has a tradition and I know my parents would be upset. I called my mom and explained the situation and she says that she thinks Dan should just make it. Most of my family is on my side because they recognize the importance of this tradition and because I cook most of the time.

Dan still refuses and keeps shutting me down when I ask him to just make the food.

AITA for wanting him to do this for me?

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Embarrassed-Jello353 on 2023-06-27 14:15:20+00:00.

I (20f) graduated highschool in 2021. Things were still just starting to open back up for the world. My class had no graduation, no prom, no anything to congratulate us on graduating except a FB post that just said congratulations on my schools page. The only thing we did was a Saturday lunch that us students put together at our local state park.

My cousin graduated just a week or so ago and I couldn't bring myself to go to his graduation. He had prom, he had an actual graduation, he even had a sign that said congratulations made by the school, just like everyone else in his class. I knew I would have just brought the mood down so I did not attend, and I am not planning to attend his party either.

My aunt had asked me why I wasn't present at his graduation and rsvp'd no to his party. I told her that I was jealous and couldn't bring myself to go to these things because I was upset that I didn't get them. She called me spolied and that I had to realize that it is a different year and that I should be happy for him. I guess she told my cousin and a few others because I have been receiving text messages that there is absolutely no reason I should have said ehat I did and that being jealous is hideous of me.

I am happy for him, and I am glad he graduated, but it hurts me that my senior year was a bust and he got to do things that I couldn't. Or at least I'm more upset that the school did more for them than they did for my class.

AITA?

Edit: I have wished my cousin a happy graduation and have told him that I will bring him to lunch when pur schedules align. But I never said I was mad about my cousin getting a party and getting to do that stuff

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Odd_Night7363 on 2023-06-27 08:23:32+00:00.

I (23 F) asked my SIL (25 F) why she needs her service dog and suddenly I’m the asshole.

My relationship with my SIL has always been kind of rough mainly because my relationship with my brother is rough. I’ve always been kind and respectful to her though. I’ve tried to ask her questions about her life and get to know her. She’s always been hostile towards me and rude for no reason. I continue to be nice to her and she continues to be rude to me. She’s been this way with everyone in my family, but her attitude is mainly pointed towards me.

Recently she’s posted pictures of her and my brother’s dog, but I noticed in the pictures the dog was wearing a service dog vest, which is weird because they adopted this dog from the shelter and no one told me about this, I had to find out from Facebook. It’s also weird because I’ve had friends with service dogs before and I know it takes years to train them, and they’re usually trained by professionals.

So I asked my brother why his wife needed a service dog because I wanted to accommodate her as much as possible and where their dog was receiving training. He told me that his wife was training the dog herself and that I should ask his wife myself why she needs a service dog. And so I did. I explained I’m asking because I want to accommodate her as much as possible. She said it’s none of my business as to why she needs a service dog. Now her friends are messaging me calling me an asshole for asking.

I honestly get it if I was a stranger to not tell me, but I’m family here. I’m trying my best to accommodate her and support her. Is there something I’m missing? Am I being the asshole here?

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/No-Seat6918 on 2023-06-27 15:00:22+00:00.

Throwaway to avoid family stuff.

I (M32) have been with my girlfriend (F29) for 8 years. From the very beginning we have been childfree. My girlfriend isn't a big fan of kids, and while I love being the fun uncle, I love being able to give them back.

Some background - My girlfriend is incredibly introverted and suffers from anxiety. Because of this, she is definitely a homebody and prefers hanging out at home with our two dogs. She likes things quiet and calm and definitely thinks of the house as her safe space. I completely respect that.

I watch my 2 nephews and my niece, 7, 5, and 3, once in a while for my sister and brother in law. I always go over to their house to watch the kids. Partially because all their stuff and toys are there and it's just easier, and because I know my girlfriend wouldn't enjoy having them over at the house. Plus she didn't agree to watch them so that wouldn't be fair.

We've had some really lovely weather lately and my sister and BIL have been asking me to take the kids over to my place to watch them instead. They live in a townhome and don't have much of a yard while we are pretty lucky and have a pretty large backyard. I've offered to take the kids to the park instead if they want some outside time.

Neither my sister or BIL like this much. They say that they would rather have the kids in a safer fenced in yard to run around and play then at a public park.

It all came to a head this past weekend. My BIL called and asked if I was available to watch the kids. I told him sure that wouldn't be a problem. He, politely at first, asked if he could drop the kids off with me for a change. I told him no I would come to them. He got a little frustrated and said the kids really needed some fresh air and to get their energy out. I said Okay we can go to the park. He exploded at me and told me I was an asshole for never letting the kids come over. He said nevermind he didn't want me to watch them because I was too selfish.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/unknown_poppy on 2023-06-27 14:44:48+00:00.

I married my husband 4 months ago. He’s never introduced me to his family before because he said things were complicated with them and he didn’t want them to ruin things between us. After we got married, he kept promising he would tell them but he continued to put it off.

The first time I met my in-laws was in the hospital after my husband was involved in a serious car accident. It was already a stressful situation and I didn’t know how to explain to them that he had been lying to them and that he didn’t invite them to his wedding so I told them I was his friend. My husband was asleep at the time but his best friend was there and he wasn’t shy about letting me know he thought it was my responsibility to tell them the truth and I was throwing my husband under the bus. At that point, it would’ve been worse if I had told them the truth and I felt it was something my husband should tell them himself.

After my husband woke up he had to tell them the truth since they repeatedly referred to me as his friend and he knew he would be digging a bigger hole for both of us if he didn’t correct them. He was mad I didn’t at least say girlfriend so it would’ve made it easier for him to explain. His family were upset with both of us but since he was hurt and I'm a stranger, I feel like they were mostly taking it out on me. My husband, to his credit, did try to defend me but he’s still mad over me saying I was his friend.

AITA?

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Valuable_Frosting812 on 2023-06-27 14:18:37+00:00.

My (27) gf(24) has been working on a visual novel game as a side project for almost 2 years and recently finished it. She wanted me to play it but I initially declined since I'm not into visual novels or reading long stories but after she begged, I gave it a try and played for a good 15 mins. Now I can tell she put in a lot of effort in the writing and the art and it was a good start but I just got tired of reading and stopped. She asked what I thought and wanted me to eventually finish it and tell her what I thought about the choices and the endings but I told her I had no plans to. She looked shocked and asked if it was boring, I told her no, it's just that I'm just not into this type of genre and she knows im not into reading but asked me to make an exception this time since she made it. I got upset because I think she is being childish and wants to blackmail me into doing something I don't want. After I made it clear I wasn't continuing, she hasn't talked to me. I already know that she is talented and smart so just because I don't want to play it doesn't mean I dont support her. Some of my friends agree she's being immature but others think I should be more supportive. So AITA?

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Adept_Conclusion_551 on 2023-06-27 13:50:09+00:00.

I 39f my husband Tom 37m and 2 sons 12m were recently in a house fire and lost our home but luckily we were all out the house when this happened. Tom's brother Sean 40m and his wife agreed to let us stay at his place with their kids while we sort out insurance.

I don't like Sean as he believes in a traditional gender roles in a household. We have had issues since he realised I would keep my maiden name at work, which I informed him was none of his business and my personal choice. He works full time and his wife is a housewife. When we had our sons, Sean thought I would quit my job as a doctor and become a SAHM. However Tom became a SAHD instead and then went back to work after our son went to school and doesn't share the same thought process as Sean. Sean clearly disproves of this and me and vocalised his thoughts about the situation.

I got Tom to speak to Sean and he has left us alone since, but occasionally used to make comments at holidays and birthdays about it which I ignored. They stopped when Tom returned to work and since then Tom says Sean has grown as a person. Tom and Sean are very close, and I would never tell him to stop talking to him, but I personally interact as less as possible with Sean. My sons' school and Tom's workplace is walking distance from Sean's house which is why I agreed to stay, and suck it up while we get back on our feet as it is temporary.

Yesterday was a very hectic day at work, and I was exhausted. My shift ended midday and I went straight to bed. Everyone was out the house; Sean and Tom went to work, the kids were at school and Sean's wife went to see a friend. Sean got home first and woke me up. I was upset and still tired and when I asked him why, he said I should make a start on dinner as it was getting late and his wife was out and not picking up her phone. Usually I do the cooking in the house with his wife, but I was upset that Sean had woken me up and yelled at him to not disturb me. I kicked him out the room and told him I was going to back sleep and he could sort out his own dinner.

When I woke up that evening, Sean told me that while I was under his house I needed to respect his house rules. I told him he could've cooked himself, heated leftovers in the fridge or got takeaway. Tom thinks that Sean did overstep by waking me up and making demands, but I shouldn't have yelled and escalated the situation. I don't think I am TA but I could've handled it slightly better maybe, but want to get someone else's perspective.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/TomHuckleberry on 2023-06-27 13:07:23+00:00.

My coworkers usually do margarita Monday every Monday. The same person usually posts in our group chat letting us know it’s still going on.

Last night, that person didn’t post in the group chat so I figured no one was interested that night. My partner and I decided to go anyways since Margs are super cheap and we didn’t have any dinner plans.

After my partner and I got our drinks and ordered food, three of my coworkers walked in and sat with us. Through conversation they told me that a former co worker of ours invited them out for marg Monday for a smaller thing as they are moving soon. One of my coworkers decided to post on the group chat letting other people know that people where there and to come on out.

Now I don’t know why, but the former co worker hates me. We used to get a long great and something suddenly changed to her hating me, always trying to get me in trouble and basically bullying me. The former coworker isn’t exactly emotionally stable and acts very childish. Anyways, she came like thirty minutes later and when she saw me she freaked. She yelled, “what the fuck is he doing here?” When one of my coworkers tried to explain what happened by former co worker wouldn’t hear it and stormed out.

Former coworker later sent me a voice note saying how much of shitty person I am for crashing her going away drinks and that I always ruin everything for her. She is now trying to spin this into me purposely showing up at the restaurant and purposely trying to ruin her evening. I should note that my coworkers came and sat by my partner and me. We would have been totally fine sitting by ourselves.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Time_Pin_1985 on 2023-06-27 12:56:33+00:00.

My SIL (husband's sister- 29f) and her husband (34m) rent out our basement currently. They have the entire basement to themselves, with the exception of my laundry area. They pay $450 a month to be here and 9/10 they eat their meals with us as well (they chip in very little to food cost however). They ran in to hard times and needed somewhere to go 2 months ago and we opened our doors to them, despite me being ready to "pop". I had my daughter 2 weeks ago.

Since they moved in, my SIL will sleep all day (she works overnight shifts) and my BIL will come upstairs to my living room around 5-6am and take over the entire space. He will put TV on and then sit there with his laptop playing video games and he will not leave that living room at all until 8-9pm. My SIL even brings his food to him in the living room. The only time he gets up is to go to the bathroom or get himself coffee. Now, he's very much so a 50's style southern boy. This man does not lift a finger at all and has never so much as boiled water because that's a woman's job. He doesn't pull that shit with me but he does when it comes to my SIL (who works all day when he is unemployed due to a "back injury").

Anyways, I breastfeed my daughter and I refuse to be limited on my own space so I will absolutely go in to the living room and nurse my child. I make sure I'm not exposed. Damn near every time I go to nurse, he will be like "ion wanna see dat shit" (think southern hillbilly accent) or when my husband gets home he will say "she tryna whip her boobies out in my face 'gain". And I'm honestly so fed up and disgusted with him that I snapped and told him he's not welcome in my living room at all anymore and he can sit his stupid ass down in the area his wife pays for. SIL is trying to get me to change his mind because they don't have a TV down there and the plug in doesn't reach his laptop and sitting on the bed all day hurts his back but I refuse. I don't care how much discomfort it causes him. He grosses me out and his face makes me want to vomit and he needs to stay away from me completely. My husband is on my side, per usual. But it's causing issues for my SIL because her husband's just a dick in general. AITA?