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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/United-Afternoon-595 on 2023-06-27 15:22:51+00:00.
I 33f have a friend Max 34m who is a single dad to Ava 6f. Ava's mum is not in the picture and gave full custody and rights to Max before she was even born. I agreed to help out Max with Ava and am very involved in her life. I will admit, I used to like Max which is mainly why I agreed, but it was just a crush, and I got over it pretty soon after but still help out with Ava. I get on very well with Ava and she calls me her Aunt.
Since then, I got a more demanding job and have a fiance who I moved in with. His place is far from Max's and I find it harder to make time to meet Ava but still try my best to see her.
Now I am pregnant and my pregnancy is high risk. My fiance and I agreed that I would take off time until the baby is born and would think about going back later. I currently work freelance and pick and choose what projects to take on. I told Max for the time being I would like to reduce the amount of times I see Ava as I can't keep up with her in my condition. Max tried to negotiate dropping off Ava at mine, but me and my fiance firmly said no, he works long hours and I can't be there for her one to one. Max and I still share the same friend group, so i will see Ava sometimes socially, so it's not like I have cut her out my life.
Max is calling me TA for not helping look after Ava and that I am essentially abandoning her and I have put him in the situation of explaining this to her. I feel bad for not being able to be around Ava as much, but currently have very little energy and have stuck to my decision.