this post was submitted on 27 Jun 2023
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Am I the Asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Bubbly_Contract3899 on 2023-06-27 20:24:35+00:00.


I am currently nearly full term (35 weeks) and the conversation of what to name our daughter has been brought up a few times this week and it’s always ended in an argument.

The name of our daughter was decided quite early on in my pregnancy and it was my partners idea for the name choice, she is being named after my partners friend who sadly passed away while serving in the British Army. I wasn’t too sure on the name when I first heard it but it did grow on me after a few weeks and he also turned down every single name i mentioned, when I say close to 20 different names and he didn’t like any of them he was pretty much set on naming her after his late friend. The idea of middle names got brought up and he straight away said that his mum would be happy if we gave her his mothers middle name and I didn’t hate that idea but what I didn’t like is how he said it like he expected me to agree. I’ve never had an issue with his side of the family they are nice and friendly people very easy to get along with never had any issues, I told my partner that either I picked her middle name or she didn’t have one because he choose her first name, and also I’m not a huge fan of the middle name in question but that’s not the point. He straight away turned it down and said his mum told him how happy she would be if our daughter got her middle name and I just don’t agree with that I also gave him another opinion our daughter can have his mums middle name but she gets my last name and again he didn’t agree and then again I stated well she just doesn’t get one then if we cannot agree and he said how his whole family has a tradition where everybody must have a middle name. Am I being responsible with my arguments or am I not being responsible whatsoever??

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

NTA Sounds like you are getting no say whatsoever. Not cool. Whatever her name is should be agreed upon by you both.

[–] Hera 2 points 1 year ago

You are reasonably wanting input on the name of the human your are literally growing inside of you. If he cannot see that this it is unreasonable to expect you to just agree with him picking her entire name on his own then I'm guessing you have bigger problems. I'm sorry, mama. This is about more than a name and you should start now how you mean to continue. Not the ah but he is being extremely unfair and forcing a problem to be had. He has to compromise in a relationship and as a parent and it has to start now. Best of luck to you.