Am I the Asshole?

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AITA for saying that my family can visit me at my house? (lemmit.online)

submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Pleasant_Set5859 on 2023-06-27 21:18:08+00:00.

I (30M) own my house, girlfriend (29F) rents an apartment with roommates.

We have been dating for 2 years, I suggested that she move in with me.

She refused, saying that she wants us to rent a new place together and I should rent out my house, because she doesn't want to live in my house. I told her I would let her change what she likes, but she says there is a difference between me letting her and her having the right to do it, which I think is ridiculous.

She asked if my parents or brother who live 4 hours away wanted to visit for a few weeks would she be able to veto that. I said of course not, it's my house and my family can visit me. She then proceeded to announce "this is exactly what I was talking about" like she proved some point. She has since not been replying to my texts.

AITA? It makes no sense for me to rent an apartment if I have my own house.

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[–] Kirill 3 points 1 year ago

Yes you are, if she is going to live with you and as your partner she should have veto power as you would have. Otherwise she might as well be just a roommate.

[–] piecat 2 points 1 year ago

Yta for not trying to understand her perspective.

She's saying that if you're going to move in together, it should be a neutral space that is equally yours. Otherwise you're both boyfriend and landlord. And that is going to make things feel awkward for her.