As an employer I would be concerned that my employees aren't bright enough to lie to me properly.
this post was submitted on 26 Dec 2023
825 points (95.6% liked)
Funny
6556 readers
178 users here now
General rules:
- Be kind.
- All posts must make an attempt to be funny.
- Obey the general sh.itjust.works instance rules.
- No politics or political figures. There are plenty of other politics communities to choose from.
- Don't post anything grotesque or potentially illegal. Examples include pornography, gore, animal cruelty, inappropriate jokes involving kids, etc.
Exceptions may be made at the discretion of the mods.
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
And that their professionalism is so low they're comfortable dropping f bombs in texts right after lying.
Eh, depends on how the boss is.
Like, I drop f-bombs in front of one of my bosses, but would never in front of the other.
load more comments
(2 replies)
load more comments
(2 replies)
Pro tip, your hot water tap probably gets to like 120, you can mix it with cold to get 100-103 pretty easily.
Pro tip: any company that requires you to prove that you are “sick” in order to get a day off is a shitty company. Find another job.
Yea we can call out 8x before getting fired. It doesn't matter the reason. I still have people calling in leaving messages with exaggerated symptoms in their voice and it's like.. Bruh I don't give a shit just don't do it 7 more times so I don't have to fire you.
load more comments
(4 replies)
load more comments
(1 replies)
Nah, better just send a pic with 120°
!Bonus points if that's °C!<
Pro tip even just cracking 100 isn't really a fever, do something like 101.2 that's a fever, but not high enough to seek medical attention just yet, so there's no having to go to the hospital. A fever of 103 is something you need to checked out urgently to immediately
It depends on the person. One of my kids goes to 104 every time she gets a fever. It scared the crap out of me the first time but now I know to expect it.
That is absolutely true, but for guidelines sake, that's what we're going for here
I'm on the other end. I'm usually between 95 and 97. 101 = I need immediate attention and it's hard to get medical professionals to take me seriously. They ignore me till someone makes a scene and then freak out once they measure my blood pressure. C'est la vie 🤷♂️
Pretty much any smartphone can easily crop images. This is very likely fake.
You'd think, but the amount of people who "save" pictures on their phones by taking a screenshot that they then don't ever crop, is disturbing.
The amount of people who save images by screenshotting them instead of downloading the image is also disturbing.
I find myself blocked out of downloading images more and more.
And Facebook and messenger saves them in some Limbo where you can never actually locate the files directly.
Stop using Facebook products.
Sure thing! I'll just tell ALL my relatives and literally all my friends to migrate over. Messenger is the de facto messaging platform where I live, so should be easy.
I get it. I have friends who won't use anything, so we're stuck using basic SMS to text message between iOS and Android. It's annoying. I hate the ease at which Facebook rolled out messenger and gained mass appeal. It means that people aren't thinking critically about what they're doing.
load more comments
(2 replies)
load more comments
(1 replies)
I mean, even if the number was in the hundreds of thousands, I don't really find it all that disturbing.
More like just disappointing.
Depressing evidence of a failing education system.
load more comments
(1 replies)
It probably is fake given the response, but I think you underestimate just how stupid people can be.
I have a vendor who takes our simple web form that would remember past inputs to make it easy on them when they use it, but instead prints it out, writes the answers on it with a pen, and faxes it back.
Every. Single. Time.
As someone who doesn't have to work with that person, this is hilarious
Ah but you see, someone like me would absolutely just forget to crop the picture before sending. Granted, there aren't many people as dull as me. I'm one of a kind 😊
Not saying it isn't fake tho, who am I kidding? This is the internet.
Usually when you crop a picture, it saves a copy, so it's at least plausible that this person could have made that mistake.
It's dystopian that so many people don't have unlimited sick time.
Disagree. Any form of "unlimited" time off gets heavy scrutiny. I'd rather have a generous PTO policy than an unlimited one.
That said, it's distopian that anyone needs to send proof of being sick. That's a symptom of a really toxic work culture.
Maybe I've been lucky but in 10+ years of unlimited sick time, I've never been questioned about sick days.
Vacation time I think needs a minimum if you're going to do unlimited, otherwise people aren't sure what to take and may take less.
The worst policy I ever worked under was "limited sick days. Unused sick days get paid out as a bonus at the end of the year". So everyone came in sick to get that sweet two weeks pay at the end of the year.
Yeah, that's awful.
I much prefer a fixed amount of PTO to "unlimited" mostly because the culture of companies that offer unlimited seem to discourage actually taking time off, which can lead to burnout. Obviously every company is different, but I'd much rather have a decent fixed amount of time off vs something where I'd feel guilty for abusing it. I currently get like 3.5 weeks, which is pretty decent for my field, and I'll get a bump to 4.5 weeks in a couple years.
load more comments
(20 replies)
Right. Those with unlimited PTO take off only what they need, and not the strict number they get. Those with a set amount end up finding time to take off. It’s why companies moved over to “unlimited”. That, and the fact they don’t need to pay out your vacation when you leave.
No, they usually avoid taking time off even if they need it, because they get guilted into thinking it wouldn't be approved or something, or that they'd be passed up for a promotion. Employers do it because it's better for the company, not for the individual.
Unlimited? F'realz?
Don't know where you live but in the Netherlands you just stay home when you're sick, that's it.
I believe after two weeks you need a doctor's note.
And then you'll get paid for up to two years of illness, after which you can apply with the government for further assistance.
So not unlimited, but quite long still.
In the US if you're sick they can just fire you the first day you're gone. It's great, I hardly know what to do with all this freedumb I have.
load more comments
(1 replies)
load more comments
(7 replies)
load more comments
(1 replies)
load more comments
(1 replies)
I thought it read 100°C lol
Lol "Sorry, I can't come in today, I'm boiling into vapour."
See u in 10.
Does this mean they have a 10 minute commute? I'm kinda jealous lol.
load more comments
(2 replies)
Boils my blood...
That would be if that temperature was in Celsius, luckily it's freedom units...
screenshot vs save as
I still don't know how I did it, but when I'd fake sick as a child my mom would leave the room for a bit while the thermometer stuck in my mouth, beneath my tongue. I would then breath the "hottest" air I could muster repeatedly from my lungs, believing that it would bring the thermometer up to fever levels... and it always worked.
Did I just have a really chill mom who recognized when I didn't want to go? Or could this absurd method actually trick a traditional thermometer into going up?
Maybe it's best that I don't know, as I have a daughter now and it's important to have her back when she needs needs a fuckin' day.
view more: next ›