this post was submitted on 07 Dec 2023
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ADHD

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Hi there. Things have spiraled out of control lately, I don't have a stable job at the moment and when I do, I mostly work from home.

I urgently need to establish some kind of routine and find a way to follow it. Productivity isn't even the priority as I do have a good amount of free time. Problem is that I don't use this boredom effectively at all.

I wanted to know if there are books/guides that could help ADHD people establish routines and how to keep them up. I'm autistic too, which means I greatly benefit from routine.

Thanks for any kind of advice!

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

For the most critical tasks, like taking my medication, I have what I like to call "sacred rituals". These are things that must be done the same way at the same time, every time. They are "sacred" because nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing, comes before them.

When I get out of bed in the morning, the first thing I do as soon as my feet hit the floor is take my daytime meds. Nothing else is permitted before that. At 7:00 PM sharp, I stop whatever I'm doing and go take my night time meds. To me, these are rules, not simply suggestions. If I break these rules, I WILL forget.

To manage everything else, one of my "sacred rituals" is that if it's going to happen, as in I'm going to do it, it has to be written in "the book". If it's not written in the book, I'm not going to do it. "The Book" is a leather bound planner that runs my entire life. If it's something I need to get done, I write it in the book, do it, and check it off.

I guess it's kind of ironic that a software engineer relies on pen and paper to run his life but I've been doing it that way for a long time and it does the job.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

thanks! As you work with computers - how do you manage working from home (in case you have experience with that) It is something really hard for me to deal with when I don't have the spacial separation thanks again for you answer :)

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

I actually do work from home. I'm fortunate to have a dedicated office. It would be very difficult to get anything done without it. Mostly because my wife and I also have little kids who constantly want to know what 'dad' is up to. If you can't find a quiet place at home, do you have access to a local library? Coffee shop? Any place where familiar distractions are minimal and it's quiet enough to get things done? Honestly, if I'm just not feeling it on a given day, sometimes I like to go down to my favorite cigar bar for a smoke and a beer while I'm working. Just the change of scenery helps shake the mental cobwebs out.

[–] Tedrow 8 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I would recommend setting alarms for specific things. I've heard good things about The Heroe's Journal for habit forming and getting things done. It can help you gamify things. I believe there are some free apps that help you gamify these things as well.

[–] Dressedlikeapenguin 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I second alarms. I use them throughout the day to prompt me to get a task completed. Also, everything for the task has to be nearby. I happened upon the concept from a food server. All items for their tasks were at their station. Now, take it step further and try to chain tasks by having one end where the next action begins.

[–] Tedrow 4 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Having everything within reach for a task is a good point. I would also recommend assigning places for everything. If you are using something, it only goes in its place when done, immediately.

[–] Bluesheep 3 points 1 year ago

I like to take it a step further - make the act of getting ready for the task a separate task. Other folks might see a single job, but when I have some repair work needing done around the house, I need a job to check if I have what I need to fix it, another to work out what I need to do, another to move it all to right place etc.

[–] Dressedlikeapenguin 3 points 1 year ago

A place for everything, everything in it's place.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

will look into it. thanks!

[–] GONADS125 5 points 1 year ago

This is a section from an evidence-based module on coping with procrastination, but I find some of the strategies are also helpful for distractions/a screwed up routine. It has a great electronically fillable weekly planner chart on page 10.

All of the resources on that site are free and evidence-based (meaning proven beneficial; not some self-help crap). I used that site a lot when I was a caseworker for adults with serious mental illnesses (SMI). I benefitted myself from teaching the information in groups and clinical interventions.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I'd say 3 things

  1. To establish a routine, I had to let go of everything else. Like, the checklist for the whole day was just the routine and it stayed that way for weeks. Sounds like you're in a good position to do this which is great to hear.

  2. Shape the environment to enforce a routine.

Alarms are annoying. They can tell you something but not make you want to do it. We can do better. For example in the morning, using a sunlight alarm clock and a space heater will actually make you want to get out of bed. (Use a timer socket with the space heater to have it auto turn on)

  • It is incredible how effective this the combination is. You can go to bed at 1am and get up at 5am and still wake up in a decent mood, never pressing snoose, never dealing with a noise-maker. When it's hot and bright, your whole body just tries to be awake instead of trying to keep you asleep.

Doing the exact opposite night also helps; use the thermostat clock to make it cold and have lights auto-turn off using timer sockets. It's difficult to keep working when it's really cold.

I find treating the weekend the same as weekdays is helpful. E.g. don't take a break on the weekend.

  1. Then, if you can, get some external enforcement. Ideally this would be something like a class or a short job that requires showing up at the same time each day. It can be as simple as getting a plant that you need to water a bit every day, or a pet. Although be careful with a pet and make sure you can actually take care of them.

Recommended Books:

  • Order from Chaos
[–] cheese_greater 2 points 1 year ago

What do you most need to be working on right now? Like finding a job?