this post was submitted on 26 Oct 2023
549 points (97.1% liked)

Funny: Home of the Haha

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top 27 comments
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[–] Boozilla 35 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Are we missing the part where he stole her baby

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

"Try to get her back, bitch. CARE BEAR BLAST!!!" -Jesus

[–] Wogi 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

That was Jesus' baby all along. If you don't believe me we'll have to cut it in half to see who the real mother is. Jesus, the son of God, or this random sinner, a woman.

Personally my money is on the literal son of God being the mother.

🌈🌈 Catholicism🌈🌈

[–] alquicksilver 10 points 1 year ago

Jesus: the original mpreg fanfiction

[–] kromem 7 points 1 year ago

I dunno - in most religious art a baby in a holy context is Jesus.

Maybe he's holding his younger self in some sort of time traveler paradox? And using the power of France to protect his younger self from women as an archetype?

Like "No, stay away from this baby me, all womens. By the power of baguettes I compel thee."

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago (2 children)

If France is going to use America/Jesus’s colors they could at least pay royalties

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago (2 children)

They pay in statues of liberty

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

I feel like they are behind on their payments.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Well I think we're due for another installment then!

[–] The_Picard_Maneuver 8 points 1 year ago

This is an exceptionally reasonable take.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Blanc et rouge

[–] pigup 8 points 1 year ago

🚫🤢fr*nch🤮🚫

[–] rkk 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

"Never been a sinner, I've never sinned, I've got a friend in Jesus So you know that when I die, He's gonna set me up with the spirit in the sky"

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

"Je n'ai jamais été pécheur, je n'ai jamais péché, j'ai un ami en Jésus. Alors tu sais que quand je mourrai, il m'installera avec l'esprit dans le ciel"

.
.
.
attendez un moment

[–] Shardikprime 6 points 1 year ago

Cruel and UNUSUAL

[–] Zeshade 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The colours are the wrong way around. I'm sure everyone noticed but my point is I think it's almost never represented the wrong way around in France.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

They're the right way from Jesus's perspective I guess.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

"From a certain point of view"

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

This French origin story is better than the real one

[–] effward 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

French Jesus strikes again

[–] dylanTheDeveloper 5 points 1 year ago

Let them eat bagels

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

There is an expression that I read about that is a German expression that means when life is easy and good.

The book said translated it roughly means "Like God in France" because zee Germans think The French having access to France is preposterously a sign of the Germans not being loved and the God of the French was much nicer and softer just look that them: they get to live in France!

it is from the book They Thought They Were Free: The Germans 1933-45 . If i get a wild hare I'll track down the page.

[–] bouh 4 points 1 year ago

She's welcome! Jesus can go fuck himself. We banned him during the revolution already.

[–] ricdeh 3 points 1 year ago

Imagine being a Fr*nch person 🤮

[–] TheLordHumungus 2 points 1 year ago

Hon hon hon tabernac je suis français!

Pray the french away!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Je pense que j'ai merdé