this post was submitted on 15 Oct 2023
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[–] tdawg 50 points 1 year ago (4 children)

No. I'm tired of everything becomeing "high tech." Stop putting buttons and lights and nobs on everything. I just want to buy it once and not worry about it needing a fucking wifi connection

[–] idunnololz 34 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Yeah but now you can see the weight of your poops and compete with family and friends on the leaderboard.

[–] chakan2 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] devfuuu 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

With some mobile apps, in app currency and some gamiffication (aka predatory tactics) like trophies and leader boards and pay for win features, I could see making lots of money from poop a very legit business.

[–] chakan2 2 points 1 year ago

And thus the smart toilet was born...only 9.99$ a month for unlimited flushes, or .99$ per flush.

(Additional water usage charges may apply)

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I just want one with a built in, automatic poop knife

[–] AngryCommieKender 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Just stick a garbage disposal in there that turns on every flush. As long as you aren't shitting out whole nuts and bones it should work.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Luckily, you can just choose to not buy this one

[–] jordanlund 28 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Was at the HLTH 2023 conference in Vegas this week, they had a toilet seat with a blood pressure and pulse monitor and pulse oximeter.

Based on users weight and weight distribution it could even track multiple people.

When I asked about cost, they insisted they wanted it to be $0 for patients and handled by insurance.

Blood pressure is still pending FDA approval.

https://www.mddionline.com/cardiovascular/sitting-new-monitoring-thanks-toilet-seat-device

[–] Buddahriffic 4 points 1 year ago

When I asked about cost, they insisted they wanted it to be $0 for patients and handled by insurance.

Nice dodge they did there.

[–] Apollonius_Cone 18 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Does anyone really give a shit?

[–] Zibobwa 17 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Daily. Sometimes more frequently.

[–] hansl 7 points 1 year ago

Aaah to be young again.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'm not paying $20,000 for every flush.

[–] TheOneWithTheHair 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I merely posted this as it's "a thing" now. I think we're putting IoT into too much. It's a marketing phase. Apple watches are nice, but I don't own one. Back in 2015 when they introduced the $10,000 to $17,000 18-karat gold Apple Watch (which is now obsolete), it was a fad thing for the rich crowd. Just like when Dan Quayle bought George HW Bush a solid gold toilet paper holder, this is a pretty for the elite.

I don't see too many people buying these, but at $20K a piece, how many do you have to sell?

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Reminds me of a Dilbert comic. "Our target demographic are rich idiots"

[–] GuyDudeman 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Ahh, back when we thought Dilbert was antiwork.

[–] Buddahriffic 2 points 1 year ago

If your business is bitching about something that sucks, you might find yourself wanting it to keep sucking. And depending on how much of a piece of shit you are, you might even take steps to ensure it keeps sucking if you can.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)

American toilet companies slowly approaching where Japan was 10+ years ago

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

Any toilet that still flushes is weak, archaic shit. Delft worked on a toilet that burns up shit using plasma.

[–] pete_the_cat 11 points 1 year ago (2 children)

"I give you happy poopy time!"

[–] TheOneWithTheHair 10 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Banging on door

Voice beyond the door: "Dad! Don't start pooping! We just lost the Internet! Hold it! Don't drop the deuce!"

[–] krazyjimmy08 5 points 1 year ago

"Sorry, you know too much."

[–] Lifecoach5000 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I’ve got something similar to the Bio Bidet BB-2000 Bidet Toilet Seat I bought during the great toilet paper sell out of 2020. Worth every penny of the $400 I spent. I feel like a king everytime I sit down.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

Bidet changed my life. I fear pooping in public now.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

Literal "internet of shit," also ridiculously expensive.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

Complete barbarism. Doesn't even have the three seashells lol

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Or you can just buy a $300 Toto washlet that has all the same features, lol.

Most of these are just luxury models that come pre installed on some designer toilet. Get a normal toilet, install a basic washlet, and enjoy the benefits of the 20th century. (yes, I'm implying that if you only use toilet paper to clean yourself that you're living a pre-20th century life. That's okay, you do you)

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Toilet paper is too futuristic for me. I wipe my ass with a communal stick.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

You guys wipe?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

You can tell the author had tons of fun writing this.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Here is an alternative Piped link(s):

like this?

Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.

[–] DingoBilly 0 points 1 year ago

Pretty interesting, toilets haven't really changed much for decades but I could see a bunch of ways they could provide useful information to you.

Lol at the bloomers in the other threads though who hate change.